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AIBU?

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Original poster

To tell MIL she can't hold baby

313 replies

FreightTrain · 16/08/2024 13:29

Just arrived at in-laws with our 7w old DD, they've met her twice.

MIL gets cold sores, discussed with DH in car and asked him to be on look out for if she has one as she can't hold baby if so. Arrived, no cold sore but after being here ten mins it seems she is a bit ill. Sounds hoarse, nose a bit red, popping cough sweets. DH is an oblivious man so either hasn't noticed or hasn't put 2+2 together about it not being ideal to have our baby around her.

I've managed to escape the room that they're having lunch as baby needs fed. I want out of here asap and don't want her to hold baby. What do I do?!

OP posts:
MrsBungle · 16/08/2024 13:38

You’re going over board.

AgileGreenSeal · 16/08/2024 13:37

Tell her she can’t hold your baby.

Chunkychips23 · 16/08/2024 13:37

It should be common sense if you’re unwell to not hold a vulnerable infant who doesn’t have a developed immune system yet. Unfortunately it’s not.

You are NOT being precious. A simple cold for an adult can be life threatening for a baby.

I wouldn’t offer your baby to hold and if she asks, just gently point out she doesn’t seem well, so it’s best we don’t take chances with LO, but she can make up cuddles next time

Original poster
FreightTrain · 16/08/2024 13:37

Calypso321 · 16/08/2024 13:33

You’re being a bit precious. Would you say the same if it was your own mum?

100% and it would be a lot easier to say as she isn't huffy

OP posts:
Anewuser · 16/08/2024 13:36

A cold sore and a cold are two totally different things.

Do you worry about health generally?

NoBinturongsHereMate · 16/08/2024 13:36

Cold sores are nothing to do with a cold. Fair enough if you don't want the baby to catch the latter, but you'll confuse the issue if you bring up the former.

RosesAndHellebores · 16/08/2024 13:36

A 7 week old baby will still have antibodies from you. Cold sores transmit by contact so if she washes her hands and doesn't kiss the baby it's fine. My father used to get cold sores. I have never had one.

Original poster
FreightTrain · 16/08/2024 13:36

Imnotarestaurant · 16/08/2024 13:32

Has your baby not been exposed to anybody with a cough or cold for 7 weeks?

No I don't think she has

OP posts:
Oldermum84 · 16/08/2024 13:36

The baby will be fine. It's very unusual for a baby to pick up an illness that young as they have immunity from you which usually lasts 6 months.

Parky04 · 16/08/2024 13:34

OP will be moaning in a few years that the GP have no interest in their grandchildren!

Calypso321 · 16/08/2024 13:33

You’re being a bit precious. Would you say the same if it was your own mum?

Imnotarestaurant · 16/08/2024 13:32

Has your baby not been exposed to anybody with a cough or cold for 7 weeks?

KimKardashiansLostEarring · 16/08/2024 13:32

When she asks to hold the baby say ‘I noticed you’re ill - you sound it and you’re having cough sweets. I’m really sorry but we don’t want the baby getting ill so you’ll have to wait til next time to hold her/him’. Any reasonable person would understand that.

Or break it up into 2 interactions - ‘oh MIL, you’re not looking well, poor you’ then if/when asks to hold the baby ‘we don’t want to baby to get ill, sorry’.

My first port of call would be to get DH to do that but I’d have those up my sleeve for if necessary!