To tell MIL she can't hold baby

I wouldn’t. Why make a small baby miserable with a bug if avoidable. I would never hold a baby if I was sick, common sense. She won’t be the one up with a crying baby that can’t latch properly because they are sick, using a snot sucker to try clear their nose etc, etc.

why would she want the baby to get ill? I don’t go around hugging my family members when I’m poorly.

OP, please do ignore anyone telling you that you’re being sensitive, over the top, or over board. I’m a paediatric nurse and look after lots of babies that become unwell with respiratory virus’.

I would never advise parents to keep their babies at home, not socialise or see friends/family or avoid going anywhere to prevent their babies becoming poorly. That would be over the top.

Avoiding someone holding your baby who is obviously unwell is just plain sensible. At such a young age, getting a cold can have a really big impact, it can affect feeding, lead to dehydration and hospital admissions. Of course some babies catch colds and are fine after a few days of being snuffly but there are some that become more unwell. If you can avoid that risk by simply asking someone who is showing symptoms of illness not to hold your baby then I don’t understand why anyone would tell you not to do that.

Why would people be more concerned about the MIL’s feelings than the babies health? It doesn’t make sense. No one would be holding my baby with obvious symptoms of illness.

You're getting a hard time OP but I agree with you. I've always thought that people with colds should be more careful & I wouldn't want my baby near one. I thought this long before COVID.

With kindness OP, how do you think babies develop an immune system? What happens if you or your husband become ill? Do you not touch the baby?

Unless your baby is immuno compromised, you are being a bit precious.

Ops mil has had cold sores in the past. No where does it say that she has an active one now, or that she was planning on kissing the baby with a cold sore mouth. 70% of people carry the virus.
So is that 70% of people who should never have contact with a baby.

This. Clearly just enjoying goading her knowing she wants to hold her grandchild. Don’t expect any childcare favours in the future ehh.

I would not hold a 7 week old baby if I had a cold.

Two totally different viruses. If you're run down from one the other may be more likely to flare up, but they are separate infections that you're unfortunate enough to have at the same time.

If she doesn't kiss the baby and doesn't cough/sneeze into babies face, it's going to be fine.

That's because you are rn down not because the two virus,s are related, I used to get tonsillitis frequently when I was run down or stressed.

Hmm, my ds caught a coldsore from me when he was about 5 months old, despite me not having an active coldsore since he was born. I had a virus type bug. Then DS had what we thought was thrush in his mouth, then h,f,m then doctor diagnosed coldsores. And because his mouth was sore his latch went to shit, I got thrush and then mastitis.

Doctor said its possible to shed the coldsore virus when you are ill without having an active coldsore. So at 7 weeks old I'd be very careful. I'd not make it about the coldsores tho as people get very defensive. Just make it about her being ill.

Not true. I often get cold sores when I am run down/have a cold

If someone is clearly unwell, common sense says not to hold a baby. The cold sore thing is ridiculous. I get cold sores regularly and I didn’t avoid holding my dc’s as babies because I had one. Neither of them have had cold sores.

yes they aren’t directly connected but if you have a cold it can make you feel run down and affect your resistance etc, and that’s quite often when a cold sore will flare up - not always though.

My baby caught a cold from a visitor who hid they were unwell at two weeks old. Ended up jaundiced as couldn’t feed properly due to blocked nose and extreme lethargy.

Any immunity lasts for around 8wks hence why vaccinations start then. You also can’t pass on immunity for a common cold, which can have severe consequences for a baby, yet be a minor inconvenience for an adult.

"I'm sorry-but you obviously have a cold-you'll have to wait til next time to hold the baby"

Repeat if necessary.

Could just be hay-fever.

I do feel for you OP as it’s a big worry when new babies are Ill, my own dd picked so horrendous cold from a sibling when she was a few days old and my ds was hospitalised with flu when he was 4 weeks so I’ve definitely been there! But at some point you would have to accept that they will pick up many many virus over the next few year and trying to prevent it entirely would do more harm than good. By 7 weeks babies are a lot more robust than a true newborn when it comes to colds. The cold sore issue is completely different though and I would be very careful around that.

No problem with her holding the baby just ask her to not get the baby near her face / kiss it . I get cold sores , always have , neither of my children have ever had one and they are adults . Bit ridiculous going to visit family and then say they can’t hold the baby .

If you are in the same closed environment or the day, surely there is a chance your DC or you will pick up any potential germs? Even if they don't hold them?

One of the hard things with babies is the difficulty of keeping them away from illnesses but they are also need to be exposed and face illnesses to build up an immune system...