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AIBU?

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Original poster

To feel a bit annoyed?

70 replies

BrewandBiscuits0 · 16/08/2024 08:25

So this weekend I had plans for Saturday morning. However, a friend has been going through a bit of a rough patch and me and another friend were thinking of going to see her on Friday to cheer her up, maybe have some lunch etc. The plan snowballed into having bottomless brunch, stopping over and leaving early. I said I would happily have the food but no alcohol and drive back late so I'm up and ready for Sat morning (I'm not an early riser and our friend lives over an hour away from us, we live near to each other)...when I said this, my friend has suggested we take one car (mine as I'm not drinking) and both come back together, however she is still going to have the alcohol at brunch.
AIBU to feel a bit put out as the brunch plan was hers and although I do want to have the full brunch with alcohol, I obviously can't and feel like I've been put in a difficult position. I could suggest we drive ourselves there and if she wants to stay she can, however she too has said she has plans for Saturday so coming back with me would be convenient.

OP posts:
MonsteraMama · 16/08/2024 09:36

I said I would happily have the food but no alcohol and drive back late so I'm up and ready for Sat morning

Why did you say this if it's not true? Or is it only true if your friend also doesn't drink?

This seems like a tremendous amount of faff and fuss over a fucking brunch (the purpose of which I was under the impression is to cheer up a friend not get bladdered). Just tell your friend you've changed your mind, want to drink and will be getting the train. Or stay over and have to -gasp- get up early on one occasion so you can make your Saturday plans.

Anonym00se · 16/08/2024 09:32

You were happy to not drink and then drive home, but the idea of your friend benefitting from a lift (which is no skin off your nose if you’re driving back anyway) made you suddenly jealous and now you have decided that you do want to drink after all and get the train. It sounds like you’re doing that very much to spite your friend.

GaspingGekko · 16/08/2024 09:32

So you said:
I would happily have the food but no alcohol and drive back late.

Then friend suggested she catch a lift home with you. But you have since decided to catch the train?

So just tell friend that you're going to catch the train. She's welcome to join you or to drive herself amd come back on Saturday.

NeedSomeAnswersPlease · 16/08/2024 09:29

@Greenhedge1 but she said she didn't want to drink!!!

Kaaraa · 16/08/2024 09:25

If you said you weren't drinking so you could drive back then you are just being spiteful. Why the hell should everyone not drink because you've chosen not to, this is not how life works.

Blake77 · 16/08/2024 09:24

Literally what🤔🤪

boobleblingo · 16/08/2024 09:22

Either you want to have a drink, in which case take the train, or you don't, in which case you may as well give your friend a lift.

But there's no issue either way.

Greenhedge1 · 16/08/2024 09:19

AtrociousCircumstance · 16/08/2024 09:11

Get the train. You would rather have a drink, so that’s all there is to it. Your friend can make her own choices.

This.
Spending time as driver while two friends skull back drink in a bottomless lunch would not be my idea of fun.

Just because she insists doesn't mean it happens.

Figure out what you want to do and do it.
But sitting sober with two friends talking shite and you cold sober is never fun IMO.

Ironfloor269 · 16/08/2024 09:15

OP’s posts suggest she’s already started on the bottomless brunch! 😄

AtrociousCircumstance · 16/08/2024 09:11

Get the train. You would rather have a drink, so that’s all there is to it. Your friend can make her own choices.

ItsAlrightDarling · 16/08/2024 09:09

VictoriaEra2 · 16/08/2024 09:06

Urgh… the words ‘bottomless brunch’ strike fear into my heart.

That’s fine, I don’t think the OP was inviting you, just asking for advice!

VictoriaEra2 · 16/08/2024 09:06

Urgh… the words ‘bottomless brunch’ strike fear into my heart.

FUBAR77 · 16/08/2024 09:02

Really not following you OP, originally you said_

I would happily have the food but no alcohol and drive back late so I'm up and ready for Sat morning (I'm not an early riser and our friend lives over an hour away from us, we live near to each other)...when I said this, my friend has suggested we take one car (mine as I'm not drinking) and both come back together

No mentions of you drinking or getting the train…

ItsAlrightDarling · 16/08/2024 09:00

You could just stay over and get up a bit earlier, then you could have a few drinks, but you don’t want to do that 🤷🏻‍♀️.

Edingril · 16/08/2024 08:58

BrewandBiscuits0 · 16/08/2024 08:53

Yes our other friend is aware of the brunch.
I know it seems like I'm being unreasonable I just feel like it's convinent for her as she knows I want to drink too but I can't if I drive. If we were all just having food and a catch up I would feel okay about it, but because she still plans to drink, knowing that I also want to (if able if we get the train) its just a bit of kick in the face

But you said you didn't want to drink? Are we in the twilight zone?

Dontmesswithmyhead · 16/08/2024 08:56

BrewandBiscuits0 · 16/08/2024 08:39

Sorry I wasn't too clear. I have suggested us getting the train so we can both drink at the brunch today and come home together but she is insistent we drive as it is cheaper and less hassle.

She can insist all she likes, but she can’t really make you.

Sinderalla · 16/08/2024 08:55

Is not that you can't have the alcohol at the bottomless brunch & stay over, it's that you don't want to.
So now that you're driving, it's handy for your friend too 👌

NeedSomeAnswersPlease · 16/08/2024 08:54

BrewandBiscuits0 · 16/08/2024 08:53

Yes our other friend is aware of the brunch.
I know it seems like I'm being unreasonable I just feel like it's convinent for her as she knows I want to drink too but I can't if I drive. If we were all just having food and a catch up I would feel okay about it, but because she still plans to drink, knowing that I also want to (if able if we get the train) its just a bit of kick in the face

But you said you would drive as you won't be drinking to be fresh for Saturday?

Original poster
BrewandBiscuits0 · 16/08/2024 08:54

BrewandBiscuits0 · 16/08/2024 08:53

Yes our other friend is aware of the brunch.
I know it seems like I'm being unreasonable I just feel like it's convinent for her as she knows I want to drink too but I can't if I drive. If we were all just having food and a catch up I would feel okay about it, but because she still plans to drink, knowing that I also want to (if able if we get the train) its just a bit of kick in the face

Although nearby, I would be going out of my way to pick up and drop off

OP posts:
Original poster
BrewandBiscuits0 · 16/08/2024 08:53

Yes our other friend is aware of the brunch.
I know it seems like I'm being unreasonable I just feel like it's convinent for her as she knows I want to drink too but I can't if I drive. If we were all just having food and a catch up I would feel okay about it, but because she still plans to drink, knowing that I also want to (if able if we get the train) its just a bit of kick in the face

OP posts:
FNG · 16/08/2024 08:49

Is the person you are visiting aware of the plan for a bottomless brunch?

WimpoleHat · 16/08/2024 08:48

Just say “no fun going to a bottomless brunch and not drinking - so I’m not driving and will be getting the train home”. Leave her to sort herself out if she prefers to drive.

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 16/08/2024 08:46

"Sorry I wasn't too clear". You didn't mention the train at all so obviously that wasn't clear!

But you just tell her you're getting the train. If she wants to drive then that's up to her. Seems a non issue

Sirzy · 16/08/2024 08:45

BrewandBiscuits0 · 16/08/2024 08:39

Sorry I wasn't too clear. I have suggested us getting the train so we can both drink at the brunch today and come home together but she is insistent we drive as it is cheaper and less hassle.

But you had already said you were driving? So why then change the plan?

Shibr · 16/08/2024 08:45

I don’t understand. You initially said you couldn’t drink as you don’t want a late night and were going to drive. Makes sense for your friend to get a lift back with you as you are driving.

Now you are saying you can drink and you want to get the train? I can see how that is confusing. Just tell your friend you want to drink now and therefore can’t drive?

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