AIBU to shop not adopt?

Just to add.
Puppies are wankers but one you get through the toilet training it's worth it.

I've had 2 rescues and 2 bought puppies.The rescues were amazing but harder work tbh.
All you can do is what's best for your lifestyle and family.

When you do see pure-bred dogs in rescue, it's rare to see one that looks well bred.

It was pretty easy for us to adopt a dog from our local rescue despite having kids (older kids though) and not having owned a dog before. We do have a fenced garden, DH wfh and we don't have other pets. He wasn't quite a puppy but was around 6-9 months old. We enquired, were home checked and visited 3 or 4 suitable dogs (collie cross, staffie cross, terrier) within a few weeks.

The downsides are that as he wasn't listed as a particular breed we really did not know what to expect even down to that he turned out rather bigger than we'd thought. He is not as obedient and trainable as your average lab or goldie, doesn't have great recall and he is reactive to certain triggers (not other dogs or people but loud traffic) so he will never be a town/ pub kind of dog. However he isn't more difficult than a lot of dogs that people have bought and owned from a puppy. He has no separation anxiety, was easy to toilet train and is pretty chill at home once he got past adolescence.

I think the most important thing is not to take on a dog that you will end up not being able to manage and will end up giving up whether that's through adoption or shopping. To go in with your eyes open and see it as a lifelong commitment

I know it won't be right for everyone but I do think that more people should seriously consider adopting pets as we really do not need to be encouraging more dog breeding in this country.

I am not a cat person but I 100% can't understand anyone buying an expensive kitten over a rescue cat. That really does seem silly.

Rescues are not necessarily bred by poor breeders! If they are rescued as puppies from the breeder, then sure. But if they are rescued as older dogs, e.g. where the owner has died, then you have no idea how good the breeder was.

Totally agree OP, we wanted another dog and were desperate to rescue one rather than buy one because I appreciate there are far too many poor dogs stuck in these shelters with no home. We’re experienced dog owners, we both have full time jobs and work from home 3 days a week, the 2 days we are both in the office our current dog is with a dog walker, we weren’t fussy at all about age or breed, but couldn’t even pass the shelters checks to go have a look at the dogs because we already have a dog, we have a young child, and we’re not home 24/7!

It seems at least for our shelters that to rescue you need to have no pets, no kids, not work full time because you need to be at home all the time but you also can’t be unemployed because then you can’t afford the upkeep of a dog, they really do make it impossible sometimes.

She is allowed an opinion . You are allowed to take no notice of that opinion. Remember the handy quote " Opinions are like arseholes,everyone's got one. You should keep both to yourself".

I agree shelters can be too cautious. We were rejected once for a cat because we lived on a road. Not a busy road. Or a bus route. A small private unadopted road.

same shelter accepted us last year though for a cat who they said could not live with dogs or children- (we have both) but she was 18, in really bad health due to her age and had been returned to them twice already because she is very bitey and quite vicious. She and my older DS who was 12 at the time we got her are inseperable and his total adoration of her has turned her into a loving, purry, cuddly little overlord.

YANBU to buy, but YABU to buy a puppy without checking out the parents’ health first. “Scores will be provided” is hardly reassuring, is it?

Agree that owning the stud and bitch sounds like a mating for profit, unless the breeder has a solid explanation. Big red flag.

I was a KC accredited breeder... I was 23 and had no idea what I was doing and bred a pug who was not breeding material but a pet because I thought it would be cute.

I just paid the fee. Never spoke to anyone at the KC.

It's not all it's cracked upto be having that accolade.

We tried for nearly a year to adopt a dog, and it was a heartbreaking experience to see the dog of your dreams and then have the shelter seem you not fit to be the owner, or that someone else would be better than you.

We weren’t prepared to wait any longer, as we’d lived in flats for years before this and were not allowed a dog. We wanted dogs, and also for our children to grow up and be socialised with them, and learn how to take care for them.

I made so many applications, and tried national and local dog’s homes to no avail.

The issues for us were:

1 child under 5, and the other 10.
Have a cat at home
Live on a semi busy road.
We both work outside the home (like most people used to pre-covid). It seems their expectations have really changed, and that they only want people who work from home, or those who are retired.

We now have the dogs of our dreams that we bought from responsible breeders. I felt incredibly guilty though, as all my dogs growing up were rescues and I was desperate to be able to do the same.

What I fail to understand is that adopting a dog from Romania is so much easier (we had considered it). Someone in my family has one who couldn’t get a rescue dog from the UK, and also a friend has one from there too. They both have similar circumstances to us, and their dogs are brilliant, and lovely with their children.

Nearly every dog I see on the Romanian sites can live with children or cats for example, whereas when you look at UK sites, apparently hardly any can live with them. I think the UK shelters are far too over cautious, and have unrealistic expectations - not everyone works from home!

Definitely not doing the wrong thing. I have a rescue - he's an amazing dog and I feel so lucky he ended up in my life. At some point in the next year I'll be getting another dog, who will likely be a puppy as I'm getting another dog as a pet but also to compete in a specific sport. I've already found a breeder and am on a waiting list, I know this puppy is well bred and I know I'll give it a suitable loving home where it's needs are met. I also know that the breeder has a clause in the contract where if it doesn't work out with any dogs they breed, they take them back.
Imo it isn't a case of adopt don't shop - it's a case of if you are buying a puppy please do your research, make sure you are prepared for the dog you are taking on and don't support byb. I wouldn't judge someone for having to re-home a dog - sometimes it's the best thing for the dog. However it breaks my heart when you look on pets4homes and there are loads of dogs being rehomed because of people moving house or expecting a baby.

I just came on to say that, however you go about acquiring your dog - rescue centre, reputable breeder, etc, and whatever breed you go for, dogs are individuals just like people and there are simply no guarantees.

My husband's best friend owns our dog's litter mate. Both acquired at 16 weeks from the breeder (both had been purchased then returned - long story), both raised in a very similar way (they accompany their owners in their day-to-day work, and get lots of outdoors exercise etc, both men are responsible owners who have had lots of dogs of various breeds before etc) and you would struggle to find two dogs more different in temperament - ours is gentle, kind, somewhat lazy, and our friend's is a much more fun, flighty, and somewhat naughty dog. Both lovely and loved, but very very different.

My family member, now she is on her own, decided on a Labrador puppy from a reputable breeder this time, having had rescues who were "challenging" breeds before. She knows loads about dogs - used to work with them in fact. This Labrador is ruining her life! It's destructive, can't be walked off the lead with any degree of confidence, boisterous, I hate to say it but really quite hard to like! (And I have always loved all dogs.....)

Whatever dog you go for, it will have its own personality and it's own ways, and you have to be ready for that, if that makes sense?

Which is not to say you can't minimise the risk by choosing a breed whose temperament characteristics tend to match what you want. And you have to put the safety of your kids and your other pets first, so yes of course you are right to make what seems to be the most sensible choice for your family at the time.

Just go into it knowing that there are no guarantees. Not all labs are fun loving family favourites. Of course, good training helps massively, and it sounds like you are putting a lot of thought into how you will raise the dog, which is great.

But even so, there are no guarantees - just like having a child! You never know what you'll get - you have to be ready for anything.....

Definitely not being unreasonable. We also looked at adoption and then went with a reputable breeder and it was the right decision for us at that time. The breeder is amazing – we send update pictures on our pup's birthday every year and when she was unwell, they sent a get well gift! We would probably look at adoption again (through a breed-specific rescue) if we got a second dog (which we are considering) as our circumstances have changed and this could now be a viable option. You just need to do what is right for you / your family, and do it in a responsible way (ie. no backyard breeders, make sure all health checks are done, don't buy from online ads/FB groups etc) Enjoy your new pup!

People are wo judgmental! Tell her she makes her own choices and you make yours and you really don't need any input from her. "Enough with the comments X, it's getting tedious now."

Absolutely YANBU! I hate people who get all high and mighty about adopting. I think adopting is brilliant and there are so many dogs desperate for a home, however, considering this, it’s also near impossible!! We also tried for so long to adopt a dog once we’d finally got our own house and were fully settled (we’d wanted one for years but living in flats it wasn’t suitable) and absolutely nowhere would allow us to adopt due to our jobs etc. It felt like we were made out to be dreadful unsuitable people, so we got our dog from a reputable breeder as you have and without blowing our own trumpet, our dog is the most spoiled, well trained, well looked after dog. Everyone raves about how well we do with him and the time and attention we put in - yet not one single rescue desperate for people to adopt would let us because we were unsuitable 🤷🏼‍♀️
I understand they need to know dogs are homed well but I really feel rescues make it so hard to adopt, it’s no wonder so many dogs remain in shelters it’s so sad!

The RSPCA are IMO one of the worst rescues in the UK. They routinely don’t vet potential owners properly, they routinely withhold key information about dogs behaviour and bite history. They pay their CEO an extortionate salary and feed their dogs the cheapest food they can.

Twice in the last year people have died from being killed by dogs they re-homed via the RSPCA after the RSPCA lied about dogs behaviour. One was a XL Bully with a bite history - which they claimed it didn’t have.

Some people need to shop otherwise their wouldn't be enough stock for those who want to adopt. People get so sanctimonious about dogs in the way they don't with other animals. Next time just ask if their Sunday roast was a rescue or straight from the farm.

Sigh. KC registered means nothing. I could get KC registration for my three dogs, doesn’t mean I’d be a good or responsible breeder.

Trust your gut. If the sire and bitch are happy, healthy and well balanced then that’s good. If the dogs have any behavioural issues then swerve.

TBH I think recusing when you have a young child (and as a first dog) is bloody irresponsible (given how many shelters omit key details about dodgy behaviour), so puppies are better. But I would flag lab puppies are a handful and mouthy - they’ll teeth all over your children and there will be tears. You need to be prepared for that!

how does the TV Show the Dog House get away with it?

I agree. We adopt older rescue dogs (lost our most recent one in June this year - we're still in floods of tears on daily basis) but totally accept that the strict criteria alone will prevent many families from doing so. My brother went for a puppy (miniature Schnauzer- he's just fabulous) from a reputable breeder because one of his daughters was terrified of dogs and he knew getting a puppy was the way to de-sensitise her. She adores the now 4 year old dog.

As others have said, rescues are so strict because they don't want dogs being returned - this is not good for the dog and can result in them becoming even less desirable to future adopters.

The rescues we support are, I might add, increasingly taking in pure breed and designer cross breed dogs of quote young ages - pairs of bulldogs, Frenchies, Westies, etc. at the moment. That's probably people buying cute puppies on a whim and then- having not researched training and care properly (as well as expense), shoving them out.

Whilst I applaud the idea of rescue dogs I have seen first hand how tricky (and very dangerous) they can sometimes be so I admire your caution.

send out a group message telling everyone to it's too late to send rescue links. XXX is your puppy now and you are looking forward to introducing him to the family.

or too old!
or a variety of reasons as per this thread

I think people should adopt where possible but every rescue dog I've ever seen advertised says they can't live with young children. It's definitely limiting.

This frankly just isn’t the case. The dogs that end up in shelters are very likely to be the product of puppy farms or indiscriminate breeding, with all the associated health issues. Seeking out a responsibly bred puppy whose parents have all the relevant health checks is always going to be a safer bet.