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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU re kids prank

65 replies

UncertainDIL · 15/08/2024 22:07

Hi there. I live in a corner house beside a large green and approx twice a week kids ring my door bell several times and run off. My electric gate buzzer broke due to the kids holding down the button. I’ve three young kids (one a newborn) and it upsets my middle child greatly. Often you can see them walking past my house looking in my windows to see if anyone is home and hiding in the bushes beside my house. It interrupts feeding my newborn and everything else a SAHM does for three small kids! This evening, three boys (Approx 10-12) came up my driveway and rang the bell approx 5 times. They ran away laughing, I understand it’s just a funny prank to them. I recognised one of the boys who has done this before and walked around to his family home with my kids. I spoke to the mom, introduced myself and respectfully requested that her child doesn’t do what he did again please. I was calm and friendly. Immediately the mother got very agressive. She said how dare I come to her home like this. She said she was busy WFH and had two of her sons friends over for a play date. She said it was a circus that I’d brought my kids. I said I need to care for my children and can’t not bring them with me. I left then as she was clearly offended I had called and being honest I was totally taken aback by her aggression. Her son admitted to what he did but denied having done it before. I’m now really beginning to hate my house as feel so exposed. My DH works days at a time and I’m on my own a lot. I know they are only kids but it’s not nice to see them coming up the driveway. It’s also not nice being spoken to so derogatory. Admittedly post pregnancy my confidence isn’t that high and not I’m beginning to doubt whether i should of asked the boy to stop. It seems like a minor issue I know but I don’t like it happening. Apart from that I’m very happy at home with my children and getting out and about with them and my neighbours. Thanks for reading. Sorry for the long post.

OP posts:
Aria999 · 17/08/2024 17:14

A tall fence with anti climb paint maybe?

The mum was totally out of order. I would be mortified if I found DS was doing this and would do everything I could to stop it.

cansu · 16/08/2024 09:07

She is obviously part of the reason she has a rude, unpleasant child. She should have apologised to you. Don't give it any more thought. However I would be trying to identify the other culprits and doing similar visits to their parents. Even if they are defensive chances are their kids will be told to leave you alone. As a teacher I sometimes get this reaction when I inform parents of their kids behaviour. Sometimes though they hate the phone calls so much they do tell their kids to behave and it does have a positive impact eventually.

Bellamari · 16/08/2024 08:55

If you get a sprinkler or water gun that’s great fun for them and will just encourage them more. Disconnect the bell, that will spoil their fun and they’ll soon get bored.

Zanatdy · 16/08/2024 08:47

You’re not in the wrong. The mum is being ridiculous complaining you showed up with your kids, what else can you do when their dad isn’t home to take care of them. She should have apologised and said she would make sure he didn’t do it again. You’ll have to keep going to the parents every time it happens if you want to stop it

Original poster
UncertainDIL · 16/08/2024 08:43

I’m actually in Ireland! Our police (Garda) don’t have as many anti social behaviour mechanisms available to them. If it continues to occur I will though report it though. I constantly have our electric gate closed to avoid them coming up the driveway which is annoying as it has to be then opened and closed 20 times a day with the kids! It’s when I have it open they come in and as my kids had just left to play on the green before me (I was changing babys nappy) it was open. Seriously thanks again as I started worrying I messed up and that I would be known as the cranky mommy giving out about “kids being kids”. It always happens when I’m rocking baby to sleep, feeding or changing a nappy. I do go to open it incase it was something to do with my eldest daughter out on the green. I was up three times with the baby last night and every time I woke I thought about it and had sick feeling in my tummy. I need to just go she’s the problem not me and forget about her as she’s not worth my energy. I admit I’m just a li sensitive, which is not me normally, but it’s the whole post baby thing. Other than that I’m doing really well but will work on myself to stop things like this effecting me. Thank you so much. All your comments made me feel I’m not loosing it and actually able to read a social situation!

OP posts:
Jc2001 · 16/08/2024 08:01

fourelementary · 15/08/2024 22:17

I’d have asked why me turning up at her door and disturbing her was annoying but she thought that her son and his friends doing the same to me was acceptable.

I'd be ringing on her door bell very time her kids did it to me just to let her know.

NeedthatFridayfeeling · 16/08/2024 07:16

I'm another thinking motion activated sprinklers, soak the little shits 😡
I would be furious if i found out my child was doing this and she would be in a LOT of trouble.

Hunglikeapolevaulter · 16/08/2024 06:42

We had similar issues on the new build estate I've just moved away from. When people posted about it on the community facebook page (not even with pictures, just a description!) you got some very angry, defensive parents going on about why not come to our door instead of posting on socials.
I mean firstly they probably didn't know the wee shits addresses and secondly the reaction OP got is exactly why!

OP you did everything right, you just encountered a horrible woman raising a horrible child.
Are you in Scotland by any chance?

Maria1979 · 16/08/2024 06:27

Good thing you did go to the mother. Since she didn't like it she will just have to make sure her son doesn't bother you again.
Tell the kids you have got surveillance camera and that you will make an official complaint if they do it again.

RedHelenB · 16/08/2024 06:21

fourelementary · 15/08/2024 22:17

I’d have asked why me turning up at her door and disturbing her was annoying but she thought that her son and his friends doing the same to me was acceptable.

This

Type2whattodo · 16/08/2024 06:21

Invest in a super soaker garden sprinkler. Motion activated.
Let your family and friends know to call ahead.

Onehotday · 16/08/2024 06:04

Call your local non emergency police number.

Fraaahnces · 16/08/2024 06:01

Call the police, show them her kid doing it, let them know it’s a recurring theme and that Mum was aggressive when you popped in to ask her to get them to stop. Also that it had already been broken once. Let them know that it’s harassment and the kid is old enough to be charged, but you would like a warning first please.

Sweetteaplease · 16/08/2024 05:55

I'd completely lose my shit if this was affecting my newborn. YANBU!

Original poster
UncertainDIL · 16/08/2024 05:54

Thanks a million for all your comments. I feel vindicated by them. I honestly didn’t know where I went wrong and the dreadful reaction I got automatically got me thinking I did wrong here. The kid was back out on the green playing straight after, no repercussions for his behaviour. Suppose she did have to go back to work! Hopefully it ends now, thanks again.

OP posts:
SleepPrettyDarling · 16/08/2024 00:41

Personally I think you are right to address it with the parent rather than with the children. I know some would go out and give them a bollocking but that wouldn’t be for me. I’d persist with the parents, and get your DH on board. It’s wrong that you are intimidated and disturbed in your own home.

MrsBobtonTrent · 16/08/2024 00:37

Motion sensor sprinkler (you can get them to deter cats). Bonus points if you run sprinkler from a water butt with dye in it.

Parents seemed to encourage the little shits. Police couldn’t care less.

We found dye in a sprinkler got a result as the feckless parents didn’t want clothes ruined.

JC03745 · 16/08/2024 00:36

SkiingIsHeaven · 15/08/2024 23:19

That's what PCSO's were invented for. Speak to your local one.

Oh I wish that was true! We are renovating and had newly put in windows smashed with rocks, the kids also broke through the fencing and tried kicking in the front door- all captured on our cameras that they didn't see! We were told a police officer 'might' come to see you- 2yrs on- nothing! Contacted the school they attend (via their uniforms!)- to be told it was outside school hours and nothing to do with them!

OP- install a silent trigger alarm if someone comes through your gate such as a flashing light you can see in your home. You can then check your cameras and either set off sprinklers, or a screeching type alarm outside for a few seconds.

Violinist64 · 16/08/2024 00:36

Noseybookworm · 15/08/2024 23:00

I wouldn't bother with the parents, they obviously don't give a shit what their kids are doing! If it happens again I would open your door and yell at them that you've got them on camera and you're calling the police. If it continues after that, report to police. Yes it's a silly prank but very annoying and they've been told to stop.

This is definitely the best way to deal with this. The police are generally very good with this antisocial/nuisance behaviour. Some years ago, l reported a teenage driver to the police. He had been driving at about 50 miles an hour into the cul de sac where I lived, before screeching to a halt. He was few seconds away from running my dog and me over. I made a mental note of the make of the car and its number plate. The police told me that they now had a record of the car and could keep it on file in case it was involved in further trouble, that they could trace the owner(s) of the car because of the details l had given them and that they would be going round to the parents' house at the weekend and telling his parents what he had done in front of him. I was very pleased because no one is very keen on the police turning up on their doorstep and it was the short, sharp shock he needed. Obviously, these boys are younger and think they are being hilarious, but they are trespassing on your property and invading your right to a quiet life in your own home. It is a form of bullying. They are also in need of a short, sharp shock and when their parents find out that the police take your complaints seriously, these boys will not seem to be so big and clever after all. It could well be that you are not the only person who is being subjected to the same childish, highly irritating nuisance prank.

UncharteredWaters · 16/08/2024 00:33

Put the footage on your local Facebook page asking if anyone else is being bothered?
Add a comment that you asked the mum but she’s too busy minding other kids and WFH at the same time to parent?
And maybe one about does any have the police pcso details?

it might shame her into stopping

Twistybranch · 16/08/2024 00:30

OP

-Get a motion activated sprinkler
-Get your husband to keep watch when he’s back and if they ring, he goes out running

MonsteraMama · 16/08/2024 00:25

I volunteer myself as tribute. Send me her address, I will spend the entire rest of the summer knocking on her door multiple times a day in various increasingly stupid disguises.

FluDog · 16/08/2024 00:20

How are they getting in OP? Could you lock the gates and cover the tops in anti-climb paint to stop them climbing over?

Not that I'm saying you should have to, just it might provide a deterrent and they'll move on.

TheNestedIf · 16/08/2024 00:14

"She said how dare I come to her home like this. She said she was busy WFH..."

Borrow a friend or family member. Every single time her son comes round and disturbs you, get them to go round her house during working hours, ring the doorbell and then run away laughing. See how she likes it.

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