Alone with 3 week old newborn

Please, if you choose to go ahead, have a Plan B: someone you trust, who can come and be there if you change your mind...

You'll be fine. My DH went offshore for 3 weeks when DD was 10 days old. You just have to get on with it. I got myself into a routine and then he came home and ruined it 😂

All good! I'm glad. It can be a tipping point I guess, so worth being aware that suddenly the power dynamics can change! Wishing you well!

2 sections here and I think you’ll be fine. You’d be very unlucky to still be in lots of pain 3 weeks post surgery and there would probably be an underlying issue with infection if so. It sounds so brutal to say but you will recover a lot faster the quicker you get up and moving but I largely felt okay after 2-3 weeks.

I could not have done that with my first. He wouldn't sleep except on me or DH. Cosleeping didn't work, and safe sleep advice is to not sleep upright with them on your chest. I averaged 4.5 hours a night for months till we got DS1 to learn to co-sleep. And that was with DH taking a shift too. We now suspect CMPA as he was very reflux, but took 45 minutes to settle too. Wouldn't nap in the pram or car, only in the wrap while I walked, I used to rack up 7 miles a day trying to get him enough sleep!

Not all babies are tired little snuggley things, I wasn't aware of that till I had one!

I'd ask your parents if they can come earlier. I have had two sections, one last year. I was still in a lot of pain by week 3 and also still had blood loss and was passing clots. I wouldn't have coped on my own. Don't forget it is major surgery.

@Blankfaced but he came home at night?

I don’t think you can know. I felt very vulnerable after birth for weeks and a bit emotionally incapable to be honest. When my husband went back to work after 2 weeks he would leave me out breakfast for instance otherwise I’d barely eat.

You are planning ahead! It would be so
much harder if this opportunity came on the hoof.I think you will manage as you can consider all eventualities and have it covered.
what threw me most was that I had to give up breastfeeding at about two weeks. Not saying it will happen to you, but get some ‘spare’ newborn readymade milk bottles in the fridge and research how you can order more if required.

@SoHotandPregnant87 you will likely be fine. Make sure you don't do any heavy lifting. Have the fridge and cupboards stocked.

Have a basket by the sofa with nappy changing things. Can you get a nappy changing table that is sofa seating height so you don't need to bend down. Or have a mat and use it on the sofa.

Get a moses basket on a stand or a rocker that is a bit higher up.

Ask a couple of friends to be on stand by. The fact they are child free is actually better than someone with kids.

Charger near by. Snacks near by.

Coffee or tea in a flask so you can just rest ad much as you can!

You will be fine because you have to be.

My husband was in Afghanistan for our first birth. He was home for 12 days when she was 3 days old but then went back for another 6 weeks.

14 years on though I still think about it.

Is it a precedent that you want to set tho? Dynamics within relationships can change suddenly and unexpectedly at that point and if you start off by him going away and leaving you to carry everything (which quite literally may be problematic after a C-section) it might encourage you being left to do so more than you'd want. (I say this, as a very competent person, but having experienced exactly that after DS1 with a very difficult now Ex-husband who morphed at that point and left me to do absolutely everything, so my perspective is probably skewed.)

If it’s first baby you’ll be fine. My dh only had 2 weeks paternity leave then was back at work 9-5 then went offshore for a few weeks when ds was about 5/6 weeks old.
if you also have a toddler at home too that’s a different story. 😂

Well no one here has any idea how your birth or recovery will go!
However I’d totally relish this time on your own. I had a lovely time with dc1 when they were born, yeah she cried and I didn’t sleep much but I was still feeding her anyway so it wouldn’t be like I could have handed her over to anyone else for a night feed etc. I just slept when she did during the days and nights.

My dh was around but he didn’t have any paternity leave, it was nice to be able to leave her with him while I had a bath but she could have come in the bathroom while I did that.

I wouldn’t have wanted to have anyone over but that’s just me, I’m pretty independent and appreciate my own space and company and time.

You may really appreciate having others with you but my family in your situation would probably have made things more stressful 😂

I was still in pain at 3 weeks with both sections and on pain relief until more like 6 weeks.
You’re up and about from the very beginning but that doesn’t mean you aren’t in pain, you do things because you have no other choice.

At 2.5 weeks I still had pain going from sitting to standing, lying to getting out of bed, twisting in bed to reach the cot etc and at the end of the day after too long of a walk with the pram or carrier.

You can't tell how you're going to feel, if you really don't have any back up plan you need to get your parents to come earlier....

A baby doesn’t need to be bathed that often. It’s actually not good for skin at that age, our midwife told us max once a week the first 3 months as skin gets so flaky (unless actually needed ie poop disaster).
So if your dh bathed baby the day before he leaves, a bath 5-7 days later if perfectly normal .
If you use flannels or cheeky wipes to clean baby bum, they are getting a decent ish wash 10 times a day

You will be fine. We are self employed and dh never had time off. We had 4 in 6 years and I was alone with no family help.

Granted I was very lucky and no complications.

Do you have any family or friends you can call if you did need help?

I had a c section and would have been fine.

But I had no complications and could drive a week later.

I also had friends in my complex who could help if I needed it (I didn't) and one was an ex midwife!

I would have things in place like he does a decent shop including goodies. He batch cooks before he goes of leaves the take out leaflets handy!

It's a bit like the how longs a piece of string question!

Can you rearrange your parents flights 2 weeks post partum (practically and financially) if you aren't ok and need them to come early?

I think it will be fine and I had two sections