Alone with 3 week old newborn

Everyone is different - I had a very easy recovery from my c-section and didn’t experience any pain. I took the painkillers I was given in the hospital and followed instructions to keep them up for a few days regardless of whether or not I felt pain and then to cut down.

Its all a bit blurry now but I certainly didn’t need anything after the first week, and probably a lot sooner than that,

My SIL was also totally fine with her second. I think that second time round, although it’s more hectic with two, it doesn’t feel as stressful caring for a newborn as it’s not your first rodeo. I’m convinced the most exhausting part for me was the learning of everything without any prior knowledge. 😂

. Get a sling as you’ll not be able to lift a pram and you’ll want to at least go outside for some fresh air .

if you are planning to breast feed it may be a very horrendous time in terms of feeling a failure - it can get very overwhelming and baby blues kick in. Tears and feeling overwhelmed are not uncommon.

you’ll not be able to share nights. That’ll mean you’re in a massive sleep deprivation mode. So, plan for that. Some of it is mental prep in saying to yourself whilst bone exhausted, you will survive. But it ain’t good and frankly I’d not volunteer to do it without partner on hand to do fair share of nights to get proper sleep.

so, make sure you and parents have you on quick dial video WhatsApp - when you’re sitting there sobbing, (you’ll look back and laugh but it’s not nice at time) for goodness sake speak to them. Don’t try to “manage”. Trying to do this alone and be strong is sure fire way to post natal depression. It isn’t natural for women to manage on their own, we evolved as social species where other neighbours were in and out of new parents homes. Ask them to ring you every hour quickly during day unless you plan to sleep. You need to know people are there for you. Get husband to call WHENEVER he escapes from being with people. Do not accept him saying you can call him if needed. He MUST call you as much as possible , normally you’d not expect that but you are at a very vulnerable time and it isn’t good enough for you to ring him in desperation.

And have plan B in place. Husband needs to forewarn company that if there are issue ps at birth he will need to back out. He has responsisiblty to you and babe. It’s a risk I’d say for him to try it. But probability will be that it is fine.

plan c might be emergency parenteral flight changes. But that’s going to be difficult.

alternatively, have you got money? Could you pay for a “nanny” to come in for a few hours a day. Company. Build your confidence. Give you sleep time. With my second via c section, we got a nanny student from local college in on part time placement - bloody brilliant. Lovely experience. She was a flipping fairy godmother for me (I got PND first baby, and sailed through 2nd)

ask midwife about befriending and baby groups near you. Or arrange to meet with mums who are in your prenatal classes? just a live face you can have a cuppa with, or a immediate emergency emotional support for each other. Make sure midwives and health visitors (if you have them) know what’s going to happen and you’ve asked them for any suggestions too.

you WILL manage. But it could be miserable and set you back a bit. That takes a time to get over. All I can say is that I hope this opportunity is VERY worth it and he knows he’ll come back to an emotionally messier you that needs huge TLC.

You’ll be fine. You might still be in pain, but you’ll be able to look after baby.

You'll be totally fine, DH had to go back to work 2 weeks after my section and I was on my own for a week with the school run to do before my mum was off with us for a week. Make sure the fridge is stocked with easy meals and rest whenever you can that week. Is there someone who can pop in and check on you both just to watch baby while you shower etc a couple of evenings?

Be careful not to overdo do it. I decided to vacuum a few weeks after my C-section. Terrible idea. I split my stitches.

Some would be totally fine. I wouldn’t have been.

My baby cluster fed all night it seemed for ages and I liked my husband to stay awake with me now and again as I was so drowsy I was scared of falling asleep. I also experienced some intrusive thoughts so would have really missed adult company I think! I think one or two nights would be fine probably but five could feel really long OP. I hope you’ll feel fine though and congratulations!

So sorry missed the very critical c section point! I didn't have one of those, glad you're sorted now though.

One serious emergency and the other sort of semi elective/semi emergency as it was an elective but I went into a very fast labour so it was bumped up.

I’m a single mum, came home from hospital after a c-section and was totally fine. I couldn’t drive so had a supermarket shop delivered and we stayed at home and cuddled for most of the first month! You’ll be fine

You'll be fine, my DH worked away M-F for a few months when DS was 3 weeks old, I had a 3 year old too, no support. It was exhausting but manageable, you'll manage because you have to.

I’m relieved for your sake that you’re getting your parents to come early. As I said before I’ve had 4 c-sections and they were all different in terms of recovery. You just don’t know how it’s going to be, but it is major abdominal surgery in itself, plus you will be recovering from giving birth with a newborn who will also have needs.
Much better to have the help with you.
best wishes

Absolutely not. You don't know how you'll feel. I've had 2 C-sections and I absolutely wouldn't have coped without my mum's food parcels and DH coming home from work. I managed during the day but I couldn't have gone to the shops or walked anywhere. Truth be told I wouldn't have been able to get down the stairs and out of my flat.

You'll be ok by week 3 after a section you will start to feel a little better and more human (still light duties) and keep topped up with pain relief, just ensure you have easy go-to meals, make sure there's shopping in so you don't have to go anywhere and order in if you have to. A changing unit with a built in bath was a god send for me after my section it helped to avoid bending down. Enjoy the time with you new baby ❤️

It’ll be hard and maybe a bit lonely but it’s doable.

Only reservation is recovery from c section. I felt more normal at 3 weeks (was when husband went back to work) but it depends on your recovery I think.

It’s great that your parents are coming earlier to help you but at 3 weeks postpartum you should be totally fine if your recovery is going properly. Just keep on top of your pain relief and don’t lift anything heavier than your baby. But that point I was picking baby up with no help and going out for a walk with the pram every day but I had a textbook recovery.

Sorry OP, should have added that with regards to the C-section, I was up and about straight away. Kept up with the pain meds for a week and that was it. No problems. I could've managed alone for a few days, it's just the constant cluster feeding that really wore me down!

i think you’ll be fine.
there are obviously single parents that do it all alone with multiple children and survive.
you should be feeling much better after your c section. First week is the worst then you start feeling a lot better week 1-2 and more mobile etc. you’ll probably be eager to start getting out of the house by week 3 (definitely!)

Oh you poor thing, sounds rough. Do you mind me asking if you had an elective or an emergency C-section?

My dh went back to working away 5 days a week when my first was 2 weeks old (no C-section but 3rd degree tear). I was fine. What helps is, lots of snacks you can eat with one hand (savoury and sweet), phone and tv, fully stocked house eg nappies clean clothes and food.
Have a long shower before he goes.

You'll be fine. I managed a newborn and an 18m old too (until I changed toddlers nappy, stood him up and let him wander off, then I changed newborns nappy, stood him up and he went thud!).

Good call OP. Aside from it being hard work and exhausting you will want to actually enjoy the first few weeks of your baby’s life. It’s a really special time and no point in turning it into a sleepless hell for yourself if you don’t have to. For the first few weeks I went to sleep about 5pm. DH would keep the baby happy for as long as he could then wake me when she needed a feed. He would then take her away again until the next feed so I got a good rest. Then about midnight I would take over and get some snatches of sleep in between all the feeding and cuddling. It’s a 2 person job if you don’t want to be painfully exhausted.

I think it's a good choice to have your parents arrive earlier. With C section the recovery can be hard and you don't know until you are going through it.

Definitely a good plan in hurricane season! My mum still tells tales of my dad going on a business trip when I was tiny, there was a hurricane so she dragged all the blankets in to the bathroom as the only room without windows and lay in the bath with me until it was over.

On the pain - I was ok for a short day out (eg a slow wander round a garden centre) at two weeks. I wouldn’t say I was in lots of pain at 3 weeks but definitely not healed either.

I don't see it would be any problem - it's only one immobile baby which you can make a nest around. You aren't running round street toddlers at the same time or anything, don't have to juggle work, you can just concentrate on your baby.

Everyone finds section recovery different but I was fine by 3 weeks. My biggest challenge is I'd been alone at 3 weeks would have been feeling bored/lonely and not having anyone to bounce ideas/worries with.

With my first I hosted an all day/evening party for 40 people round my house at 3 weeks. I baked a couple of cakes for it the day before with newborn in a sling (though everything else was shop bought).

In terms of wandering round the house carrying baby, that was fine after about 48 hours. I struggled getting up from lying down for a few days so slept propped up with pillows for about 4 days, but otherwise I was fine. We only have an upstairs loo, and I was going up and down normally to that (without pain) by day 3.

It really depends though. Some women have much more tricky section recoveries, and some women have a lot of post natal anxiety and depression which can make it feel overwhelming. I got lucky with all of that and genuinely found newborn the easiest stage of parenting so far. I even had the to straighten hair end do make up - which I've not had time to do since they started moving.

So personally I'd have been fine, but equally it may be nice to have the extra company.