Alone with 3 week old newborn

Solo mum to twins from day one here. I had an emergency c section. You’ll be fine. Just make sure you don’t stay in bed too long post c section once the anaesthetic has worn off. Sooner you shuffle up (gently and for short periods at first), easier the healing process is. I was discharged after 36 hours and my twins were in NICU. First couple of days, family drove me to and from hospital, after that I got the bus. I also interviewed for (& got) a job around 20 days after I had my c section. We women are fierce and strong and can do anything we put our minds to 🧡 Good luck!

You’ll be absolutely fine, I had a planned c section in March and 18 days in I felt pretty ok! Good luck X

I was walking up mountains in the Lakes (with DS in a sling) seven weeks after my c-section.

Physically I'd say it's totally possible as long as you have a straightforward recovery (I would have been fine on my own after two weeks, I think), but emotionally/mentally I think it would be really lonely.

I think physically you’ll be sore but you’ll manage. For me I struggled more mentally and felt like I couldn’t be on my own. I almost needed constant emotional support as I felt so terrible

I probably wouldn't have coped very well but I was a bit of a mess for the first few weeks; lengthy induction, PP hemorrhage, feeding issues and total lack of sleep and just being generally terrified. Also no real family help. However, a close friend of mine had this exact situation (in fact, think her husband might have gone away even earlier than at 3 weeks) and was absolutely 100% fine. I guess you won't know how you feel until then, but I think if you have family coming and perhaps people you can call on if you have any issues, you could well manage.

You will absolutely be fine. DC1 was pre covid and my DH had to stay away 2 or 3 nights per week back in those days. he was gone for 3 nights in week 2 and it was of course a bit trickier, but also nice to just have that time with DC. Plan to do no housework. eat out of disposable cartons, find a way to have a shower whilst baby is safely in a baby chair or something and embrace those amazing days that will pass very quickly. And don't feel guilty if you live in pyjamas for those 5 days.

My husband was in the Navy and was in the Falklands when by baby was born 30 years ago. He got back when she was 5 months old. I lived 300 miles away from family, had no friends and there was no welfare support back then. No emails, no Internet, no mobile phones. It was bloody awful, i hated it but I got through it.
If its just a few days then get some food in, stock up on nappies etc and find some stuff to binge watch while you're having a snuggle.

It's great your parents are coming over sooner, c-section or not it's definitely easier if you have someone to take over for a couple of hours in the evening, giving you a chance to refresh and reset.

Too many variables to say if you'll be alright. I needed support and antibiotics at that point, you might be absolutely fine and in a happy baby bubble. We really can't tell you.

You'll be absolutely fine, if you're bottle feeding just get organised during naps so you always have bottles ready but if you're breastfeeding then he wouldn't be helping much either. I was driving 2 weeks after my elective section so I wouldn't worry

I was not fine by week 3 after my c section, luckily DH had over 4 weeks off and then a couple WFH, I couldn't lift the pram, struggled to walk very far at that point, obviously couldn't drive.

Lots of mums have PND. Lots of mums end up exhausted, overwhelmed etc.
she isn’t a single mum. She has parents and a partner. If there’s an option of help, she’d be a flipping idiot not to take it.

I think this the most wise decision. Too many risks to try on your own. There’s no blinking medals for being a martyr.
good call.

Everyone has different experiences. Everyone has different pain tolerances to different types of pain. Things like a little wound infection make it worse. . Pain will also be impacted be impacted by how tired or run down you get.

point is- no one can predict how much pain you’ll be in…you may be prolaxed or ready to run round block 🤷🏼‍♀️😉

One of fastest ways to heal is sleep- if you’re not sleeping at night well as no shift system with partner, it’ll take longer to heal.

make sure dh stocks up on the painkillers you can have.

Have super low expectations in terms of cleaning etc and you'll be fine!

Haha. No. It’s still painful in week 3, and especially picking up something or taking something from high shelves. You will be picking up baby and walking around the house but I wouldn’t call it “comfortably”. You will still feel you had a major op.

i had two c sections.

Lots and lots of mothers look after multiple kids on their own for very significant amounts of time if not forever.

you’ll be fine

One, after C section it will be much harder for you to look after 3 week old by yourself

two, even without C section you would be quite shattered. At this time all lack of sleep is definitely catching up with you… and the danger is that you will fall asleep while holding/feeding the baby (as that’s when they can be smothered). I literally needed my husband to keep poking me so I could stay awake

in short you could be fine, but 5 days alone with 3 weeks old - why do this to yourself when you have another option?

I’m amazed at all the “you’ll be fine” responses. You just can’t possibly know how your recovery will go after a c section. My recovery was awful and very slow. I’d never have been able to manage with a newborn completely alone. Most people I know found recovery to be okay, I really hope this is the case for you OP, but glad to hear you will have some help if needed!

I was in that situation after a c section as DH had a serious medical episode that needed a major operation and a couple of weeks in hospital, so I was on my own with a 3 week old for several days before my mum arrived to help me. It was incredibly exhausting, I wouldn’t recommend it unless you have no choice.

You just don't know.

It does make me laugh though people talking about cleaning. My house was never cleaner than at 3 weeks. My son fed so much that I wasn't able to move to make any mess beyond reheating premade meals!

Op, just read this.
maybe you could also if money

1. get a cleaner in for couple of weeks
2. get laundry done elsewhere (collection service) - poster is right thst you shouldn’t be lifting bags of laundry . Alternatively buy massive amounts of undies for you and very cheap baby clothes that you can wear once and dump.

Were you on your own 24/7 for days? It’s very different

it used to be standard, for dads to go back to work immediately after birth . Paternity leave didn’t exist generally till recently. But this simply isn’t the same.

she knows once on plane, she is on her own entirely, he can’t pop home if there is an emergency, or leave work on time to be home to take over. She’ll be a single first time mum, with c-section still healing, at peak hormonal baby blue potential .

You'll do fine. You've got this OP. It might feel overwhelming at the time but take it hour by hour if you need to. Make sure you've got lots of easy foods and snacks in the house and you're stocked up on everything. Keep your phone with you. Check in with dh / your parents every day. Sleep when baby sleeps, it will be hard but it'll also probably be quite blissful at times with all the baby snuggles and a good tv series.

It very much depends on the baby and your c section recovery. You probably won’t want to be carrying laundry baskets around or emptying the machine at that point so if your baby is sickly or prone to poosplosions you might be drowning in laundry after 5 days. If feeding baby is hard it’s very preferable to have someone bring you tea and food rather than fending for yourself. The days are very long with a newborn and it is nice to be able to hand over to someone else in the evening to try to make baby go to sleep while you get a bit of a rest.

Alternatively you could be absolutely fine if the wind is in your favour!