To say no?

That's kind of how I felt too though with wanting 2. Have 2, a few years apart and then they grow up together and go through stages together. So in terms of what you can do with them. If you have 2 in school and then another baby then there is always one adult sitting out activities with the baby. I wanted to get baby and toddler stage out of the way with similar ages and then move on. Sounds like you think the same. Realistically, if you had another, it's probably you sitting it out while your husband and boys do activities. And given you've already had enough of this phase, it doesn't sound like the best plan for you.

Put this out of your mind until the buildingvwork is done and you've had at least 6months builder free.

I would say no. You don't want more. Don't have more.

How have your 2 been as babies though? I found after DD1 my husband started talking in plurals (eg. 'I can't wait to have more kids' etc) when we'd always agreed 2. He was just so loved up with DD1 and thinking more was better. Roll on DD2 who was an absolute nightmare sleeper and he soon changed his tune! I don't think I had a single full night of sleep for 3 years and even then was only occasionally.

If you have a good dynamic with your 2 and the baby stage has gone well, I would say don't chance your luck with a third! Although mostly because you don't want one.

Is your DH award of the increased risk of having a child with Down syndrome or other chromasomal abnormality with older parents? Particularly a mother over 40?

It would be hard enough for you to manage with a third child with no problems, but a child with additional needs could be the straw that breaks the camels back in your own situation.

This is in no way saying that a child with additional needs cannot be a joy and a blessing - just that in your own particular situation, where you already know you would find it difficult to manage, this might be a step too far.

Your chances of a multiple birth increase as you get older - my 2nd at 39 turned out to be my 2nd and 3rd. Am i happy with 3? Yes, but i often wish I had another pair of hands. And more money. Three is expensive (and we live a v simple life).

I do think you should heed your gut, and if you've any doubt about having another then don't. My dc's Dad was very committed & hands on etc but we're now divorcing (dc now teens) - dc live with me so on a day in/day out basis, it's all on me. I know it's looking on the dark side but there are no guarantees in life, and how you'd fare if you ended up a SP is worth considering.

I stopped at your age, even though both dh and ds1 wanted another really, really badly.

I was probably much conditioned by two friends I had who had multiple miscarriages at around that age, and seeing how badly it affected them. One went on to have another, the other never did.

I felt that the risk was that my family, which felt perfect with two, would feel incomplete if we tried for a 3rd and didn't manage. And that the gap between my eldest and the youngest would be so big that it would mean constant compromises by one or the other in terms of the activities we could do with them.

I've never regretted it, and over the years dh has often said how glad he is in the end that we have 2, how well it works for us and how we couldn't have offered 3 the same level of engagement which we have with our 2. Children are a joy, but babies are like chocolate cake. Lovely in moderation, but there is such a thing as too much. And as the mother of a baby you only get the choice of too much or even more.

As to guilt? No, never had it. I made a considered decision based on what I thought was best for both me and the family. Don't feel I have anything to feel guilty about.

3 changes a lot, houses, cars, holidays and dynamics and for it both parents need to be 100% any doubt then don’t it is as simple as that

I'd definitely say no at the moment. It will get easier as they get older, but get the house sorted as a priority and then see how you feel, but given what you said in your post I don't think you'll change your mind.

I was in a bit of a bubble after my first, she was a good baby and slept through the night at 6 weeks. I originally wanted 4, but had my second under two years later and that was enough to put me off having any more, for life!

I’d get the house sorted first then reassess your feelings - tell you DH that you aren’t ready yet and might never be but are feeling stressed form lack of independence and house issues. Once house sorted you might feel differently … or you might not. Either is ok.

I stopped at 2 as felt we didn’t have the finances or energy to have a 3rd. I didn’t t think I could give to 3 children enough time and attention Others have 3rd and its a breeze. It’s very personal and only you know what’s right for you.

I’d caution assuming your pregnancy for a 3rd would be as easy as your 1st or 2nd. It might well be but no one can predict this and every pregnancy is different. You DC are also still very young. I loved that age 3yr old was a little person and lovely to watch with their younger sibling (very similar age gap!) and it brought me a lot of joy. Ten years on its more complicated and although my DC bring me joy it’s much harder than when they were tiny. Not trying to put you off a third lots have and enjoy but it does get harder when they grow (imo others are will have own experiences).

Just say no, it's you that's going to go through another pregnancy and birth so it's your body and MH being affected, so you have the final decision

Why would you feel guilty? What you should feel guilty about would be bringing an unwanted child into the world.

It doesn't necessarily get easier as such, well it sort of does but there are different challenges all the way through. My DC are 14 and 10 and I'm finding it really difficult at the minute. Neither of us wanted more after two, and I'm very glad as I can't imagine having an extra person in the mix right now!

It might not be all straightforward for you either. A third might be a third and fourth if it's twins. Or baby could have health issues etc.

You sound quite sure you don't want another. I'd stick to my guns if I were you.

I have three. I love them all to pieces but three is hard work! My DC3 was a terrible sleeper and a really tricky toddler - much harder than the other two (although to be fair he's now a lovely teen).

Definitely don't have another one if you're not sure.

It's clear your not ready and neither is your current lifestyle. Is there some way you can accelerate the building work? I had similar circumstances and then we move moved when our "second" (twins) were born having a calm ordered house will go a long way to mitigating how you feel. Also it doesn't last forever, I know you probably think that's easier said than done. Also bf really takes it out of you, I know this isn't the issue but be sure your getting adequate rest, nutrition and fluids, I'm not sure if you are if working f.t.
Then and only when things are more settled you can think of you want another child. Is there some way you can create some more time for yourself ?

What do you feel awful saying 'No'. Say NO. It's not an order. No guilt needed - so he likes children. Great, he has two of them. Job done. If he likes children so much, he can work with them when the little one starts school.

You've had two children, youngest only three months, of course you are exhausted. Your hormones are still all over the place. He is being unreasonable to put this kind of pressure on you so soon after your recent birth.

Personally I would not want to be having a baby in my forties. I would be too knackered and really it's a good 20 years until they are properly independent. You'd be in your sixties by then. I would want my life back sooner.

Suggest a dcat or a ddog.. A dpuppy is as much work as a dc.. No bf involved though!!

My DD regretted having a third one, as the practicalities of not having enough hands for 3 youngsters, makes life difficult on a daily basis. Of course she loves the third one to bits, but realistically, it does make life more difficult, things like plane journey's are harder, etc. My thoughts about your situation, would be to talk to your partner and tell him that at this point you don't think you want any more, be honest with him, in the same way that he needs to be honest with you, ie, is it a deal breaker for him if you don't? If you're absolutely clear in your own mind that you're done, then telling him you don't think you want any more at this stage, will prepare him for you saying at a later date that you've given it a lot of thought, and you've decided you definitely don't want any more. At the end of the day OP, it's your body, and you do get the final say, but breaking it to him gently, is probably better than a definite, I'm done, so you can forget that idea!

Would your feelings be the same if you were to bottle feed?

Also consider the fact that the older two could be in school/nursery by the time the new baby arrives.

More kids can equally mean more worry and anxiety.