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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to find this really fucking annoying even though it doesn't really affect me much

237 replies

walkway8 · 15/08/2024 15:52

I live in a detached house with a walkway between myself and the neighbours to access both our gardens at the back (diagram attached).

The neighbour has a front garden whereas I have a driveway. They have a gate that opens to the side of my house to allow them access to the walkway to get to their back garden. The walkway is shared land according to the deeds but stops at the top of my driveway (basically my driveway isn't shared but the walkway is).

Whenever my neighbour is doing anything in their garden, bringing this in / out of the garden/ taking things from the garden to their car on the road or whatever, they will go up and down my driveway instead of going through their gate and then down their garden.

It really annoys me. I don't really know why but AIBU to think this is just an odd thing to do?

My living room window looks onto my driveway and some days they will be working in the garden and making multiple trips up and down my drive and I feel awkward and like I need to close my blinds.

I don't even have a bad relationship with them, not friends or close but fine neighbours and we say hello how are you etc when we see them.

But I just find the whole thing really weird. I would never dream of strolling up and down their garden path repeatedly.

We also have cars on the drive so when they are bringing things in and out it worries me they will get scratched.

Aibu to find this annoying and tbh a bit rude?

to find this really fucking annoying even though it doesn't really affect me much
OP posts:
Thread gallery
13
Marinade · 15/08/2024 18:08

walkway8 · 15/08/2024 17:58

Someone asked where I was planning a gate/ fence. Probably here where the pink line is.

This is what I was wondering and I think this makes sense where you have indicated with the pink line. I don't think you should put the gate at the front of the drive because where would it attach to? It would kind of be 'hanging'. You can legitimately say that you are protecting your side access this way. I imagine they won't be happy so you really need to reiterate it is due to safety concerns. Your friend's house was accessed via a side entrance and burgled. Would you install one of those higher gates that are used generally to secure pathways to the rear of houses?

Crumpleton · 15/08/2024 18:07

I've a feeling if you put a gate there your neighbours would still find it easier to open that one rather than zig zag their way through their own access.

If they did though the'd definitely be CF's

to find this really fucking annoying even though it doesn't really affect me much
Supermacs · 15/08/2024 18:07

Can you park your car further over to that side to block where theyre walking for now until you can get the gate put up. I would sort it asap though!!

Grammarnut · 15/08/2024 18:06

It looks as if you need a gate below their garden gate - what an odd design!

BurntBroccoli · 15/08/2024 18:05

Beautiful3 · 15/08/2024 18:01

I understand, you don't mind them using the shared path, but prefer them to access it via their front garden and not your drive. Could you put a gate on your side, to access the path, just like they have done?

Both OP and neighbour have shared access over the walkway coloured orange on my plan.

to find this really fucking annoying even though it doesn't really affect me much
BurntBroccoli · 15/08/2024 18:02

babyproblems · 15/08/2024 17:57

I suspect the walkway goes down to the road. Not clear on your diagram but I can’t see why you’d have the walkway and that would ‘end’ at your driveway.. I suspect it’s two mirror plots and that actually the strip of walkway continues down to the road.

You'll need to read the whole thread!

Beautiful3 · 15/08/2024 18:01

I understand, you don't mind them using the shared path, but prefer them to access it via their front garden and not your drive. Could you put a gate on your side, to access the path, just like they have done?

PianPianPiano · 15/08/2024 18:00

babyproblems · 15/08/2024 17:57

I suspect the walkway goes down to the road. Not clear on your diagram but I can’t see why you’d have the walkway and that would ‘end’ at your driveway.. I suspect it’s two mirror plots and that actually the strip of walkway continues down to the road.

It's on the deeds that the walkway ends at OPs driveway. She has shown this on multiple diagrams.

BlueMum16 · 15/08/2024 17:59

Leave your bins in the way for a few days. It will inconvenience them. They might then speak up and it will give you opportunity to remind them it's your garden not their access.

They genuinely might not realise if they've only lived there a year and you've never challenged them.

Original poster
walkway8 · 15/08/2024 17:58

Someone asked where I was planning a gate/ fence. Probably here where the pink line is.

to find this really fucking annoying even though it doesn't really affect me much
OP posts:
babyproblems · 15/08/2024 17:57

I suspect the walkway goes down to the road. Not clear on your diagram but I can’t see why you’d have the walkway and that would ‘end’ at your driveway.. I suspect it’s two mirror plots and that actually the strip of walkway continues down to the road.

Original poster
walkway8 · 15/08/2024 17:54

Ideally I want to block off as little of my drive as possible as it's a two car drive currently which is a good selling point of the house.

OP posts:
BurntBroccoli · 15/08/2024 17:54

@walkway8

Great news that they moved in after you.
Definitely go for the fence and planters!
Keep us updated 😁

Original poster
walkway8 · 15/08/2024 17:54

Definitely needs blocking off in some way I agree. I just cannot ever imagine coming from my back garden, going through their gate and down their garden to the street. I'd feel like a twit doing that.

OP posts:
Original poster
walkway8 · 15/08/2024 17:52

PuppyMonkey · 15/08/2024 17:49

I think this will go down in history as the most misunderstood thread MN has ever had.

Soggy feet. Grin

Soggy feet too... they aren't walking bare foot to and from their back garden?

OP posts:
Original poster
walkway8 · 15/08/2024 17:52

PuppyMonkey · 15/08/2024 17:49

I think this will go down in history as the most misunderstood thread MN has ever had.

Soggy feet. Grin

"The access goes all the way to the street" reminds me a little of cancel the cheque Grin

I bought the house about 2 years ago, neighbours moved in about a year ago.

OP posts:
PuppyMonkey · 15/08/2024 17:49

I think this will go down in history as the most misunderstood thread MN has ever had.

Soggy feet. Grin

rosiethenn · 15/08/2024 17:48

@goodgirlwannabe probably because OP is a decent person and doesn't want to cause ill feeling by bringing it up. Sometimes with neighbours it's better to subtly deal with something like this.

Americano75 · 15/08/2024 17:45

YANBU at all, this would drive me mad! Absolutely block them off.

MargotMoon · 15/08/2024 17:40

BurntBroccoli · 15/08/2024 16:36

Or padlocked gate and fence here

Do this and say it's for better security. Good fences, as they say, make good neighbours

rosiethenn · 15/08/2024 17:38

I totally get this OP.
It feels inconsiderate and an invasion of your privacy, literally.

I have a situation a little bit like this, although it's not to do with a shared area but rather imagine your neighbour had a door open down the side of their house all the time so you can hear everything inside their kitchen for 6 months of the year even when your kids are asleep.

Basically they are old, a bit deaf and set in their ways. I wonder if your neighbours are older too? I think what's weird is people like this, If the shoe was on the other foot, wouldn't mind you walking on their area, because they're weirdly laid back, IMO anyway.

I would just get that gate fitted, and say oh sorry we just want to keep the boundaries in the right place. I'm sure if they think about it, they'll be able to make sense of it.

goodgirlwannabe · 15/08/2024 17:34

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Previously banned poster.

Aligirlbear · 15/08/2024 17:33

walkway8 · 15/08/2024 16:39

Yes probably! I think when you know something IRL you don't realise that it can be confusing to someone who's never seen it if that makes sense.

Anyway planters at the top of the drive might be an idea until a gate is put up.

Show quote history

This - I would go for a display of strategically placed ( heavy non moveable ) large planters. The added bonus to this approach rather than a gate is you will actually get a nice view as you drive into or walk up your drive and depending how green fingered you are feeling you can change the display periodically to match the season

Neininoonoo · 15/08/2024 17:33

walkway8 · 15/08/2024 16:10

Rough red line showing where the boundaries are on the deeds. And the dotted line is where neighbour walks up and down to go through the walkway.

Could you put some plants in a raised bed or pots along the side of your driveway? That way it would force them to realise it’s your land (and that they’re trespassing) you could just say it’s to improve curb appeal or whatever and not come across as petty. They might then start to come further across your drive however, between your cars etc whereby you would definitely not be unreasonable to tell them not to.

UpUpUpU · 15/08/2024 17:29

Can you park your car close to their fence so it’s not possible to easily walk down the drive?