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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to find this really fucking annoying even though it doesn't really affect me much

237 replies

walkway8 · 15/08/2024 15:52

I live in a detached house with a walkway between myself and the neighbours to access both our gardens at the back (diagram attached).

The neighbour has a front garden whereas I have a driveway. They have a gate that opens to the side of my house to allow them access to the walkway to get to their back garden. The walkway is shared land according to the deeds but stops at the top of my driveway (basically my driveway isn't shared but the walkway is).

Whenever my neighbour is doing anything in their garden, bringing this in / out of the garden/ taking things from the garden to their car on the road or whatever, they will go up and down my driveway instead of going through their gate and then down their garden.

It really annoys me. I don't really know why but AIBU to think this is just an odd thing to do?

My living room window looks onto my driveway and some days they will be working in the garden and making multiple trips up and down my drive and I feel awkward and like I need to close my blinds.

I don't even have a bad relationship with them, not friends or close but fine neighbours and we say hello how are you etc when we see them.

But I just find the whole thing really weird. I would never dream of strolling up and down their garden path repeatedly.

We also have cars on the drive so when they are bringing things in and out it worries me they will get scratched.

Aibu to find this annoying and tbh a bit rude?

to find this really fucking annoying even though it doesn't really affect me much
OP posts:
Thread gallery
13
SharpWriter · 15/08/2024 19:01

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 15/08/2024 18:29

Our house, the neighbours either side have been here a similar amount of time and are a similar age and are really friendly. The lady we bought from a couple of years ago was also a similar age and had been here forever.

They walk across our drive to get to one another (one side more than the other) and sometimes sit on our wall to have a chat. They don't look in, but it does mean they walk past my bedroom window.

Materially, doesn't impact me at all. But drives me mad and makes me want to build walls and gates round the drive!

This would really annoy me. Guess they did it before you moved in so think it is ok!

Growlybear83 · 15/08/2024 18:50

ApplesOrangesBananas · 15/08/2024 18:48

To get to the shared walkway do they not need to cross part of your driveway anyway? Or does the shared walkway stretch all the way to the road?

or are they going back and forth vertically? Sorry I don’t understand what they are doing?

Look back at the OP's posts - her diagrams really couldn't make this any clearer.

ApplesOrangesBananas · 15/08/2024 18:48

To get to the shared walkway do they not need to cross part of your driveway anyway? Or does the shared walkway stretch all the way to the road?

or are they going back and forth vertically? Sorry I don’t understand what they are doing?

CucumberBagel · 15/08/2024 18:48

Cancel the cheque, OP.

I think your plan is perfect.

Lilofthevalley · 15/08/2024 18:44

Can you put a gate at the house end of your drive, at right angles to their drive. Can always say you want to "Improve security to the back garden and they'll need to use their garden to access the walkway not your drive". Then you won't lose too much of your drive.

WoolySnail · 15/08/2024 18:43

Gordon Bennett, why are people refusing to understand the pictures and explanations?! THEY.DO.NOT.HAVE.ACCESS.ACROSS.OP'S.DRIVE!!!!!!Op i think this thread has enraged me more than your neighbours (thats a lie, they enrage me too!!!) 🤬

Why is it every time I edit it deletes letters I didn't ?!

PianPianPiano · 15/08/2024 18:40

NetZeroZealot · 15/08/2024 18:36

They probably have a right of way over your drive to access the shared walkway.

Why? They have access via their own front garden and if they did have a right of way over the drive it would be marked on the deeds, which it isn't...

thursdaymurderclub · 15/08/2024 18:39

i can i assume that there is a path that runs between your drive and their garden? there is very clearly access from the front of your houses to the back..

i think your arguement is petty and childish...

looking at the picture you ahve drawn, if there is no path, and there is no right of way from their garden at the back to the front then there is absolutely no reason for them to have a gate there in the first place so im guessing they do have. right of way

Penguinated · 15/08/2024 18:39

Is there a chance that your neighbours don't realise that they are going across your land. They may have assumed that the shared walkway goes all the way to the street. May be worth asking them whether they know where the boundary is as a first step?

NetZeroZealot · 15/08/2024 18:36

They probably have a right of way over your drive to access the shared walkway.

allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 15/08/2024 18:33

@walkway8 Where is their front gate OP??

Makingchocolatecake · 15/08/2024 18:33

walkway8 · 15/08/2024 15:52

I live in a detached house with a walkway between myself and the neighbours to access both our gardens at the back (diagram attached).

The neighbour has a front garden whereas I have a driveway. They have a gate that opens to the side of my house to allow them access to the walkway to get to their back garden. The walkway is shared land according to the deeds but stops at the top of my driveway (basically my driveway isn't shared but the walkway is).

Whenever my neighbour is doing anything in their garden, bringing this in / out of the garden/ taking things from the garden to their car on the road or whatever, they will go up and down my driveway instead of going through their gate and then down their garden.

It really annoys me. I don't really know why but AIBU to think this is just an odd thing to do?

My living room window looks onto my driveway and some days they will be working in the garden and making multiple trips up and down my drive and I feel awkward and like I need to close my blinds.

I don't even have a bad relationship with them, not friends or close but fine neighbours and we say hello how are you etc when we see them.

But I just find the whole thing really weird. I would never dream of strolling up and down their garden path repeatedly.

We also have cars on the drive so when they are bringing things in and out it worries me they will get scratched.

Aibu to find this annoying and tbh a bit rude?

Is part of your drive shared or does the boundary line have an L shape? Have you got your deeds?

ClematisBlue49 · 15/08/2024 18:30

Just a thought... Judging by the way your cars are parked, you may not need all of the space on your drive, so could you offer to sell them half of the width of a path from the end of the current shared walkway to the street? You could then put a fence up down the side and be completely private, as they are.

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 15/08/2024 18:29

Our house, the neighbours either side have been here a similar amount of time and are a similar age and are really friendly. The lady we bought from a couple of years ago was also a similar age and had been here forever.

They walk across our drive to get to one another (one side more than the other) and sometimes sit on our wall to have a chat. They don't look in, but it does mean they walk past my bedroom window.

Materially, doesn't impact me at all. But drives me mad and makes me want to build walls and gates round the drive!

Grammarnut · 15/08/2024 18:27

Minikievs · 15/08/2024 16:04

I don't understand why people think you're wrong to be annoyed, this would piss me RIGHT OFF.
I completely understand why they're doing it, it's way easier than unlocking /opening their gate all the time. Plus for example if they're coming out in slippers, I'd rather walk on a driveway than a garden in slippers in case I track mud back into the house etc.
But it would get right on my tits if I were you! I'm completely petty so I'd start parking my car in a way that blocks my driveway from their gate onwards.
However I'm a MN outlier as I also get really pissed off with my neighbours parking outside my house when they have a perfectly good driveway, so I appreciate my view isn't the norm!

Anyone can park in front of your house, you have no right to the parking space in front of it unless there are designated parking spaces. I don't know why parking outside your house would bother you, really.

NeverPromisedYouARoseGarden · 15/08/2024 18:23

If they are generally reasonable people and you haven't mentioned it to them up to this point, they are presumably thinking/hoping that you don't mind. I can see the appeal of heading straight up or down the walkway when you're carrying gardening stuff etc, rather than negotiating one or even two garden gates. That's not to say they should be doing it and I would be parking my cars further to the left, as close to their fence as possible, or maybe even on the diagonal, to see if they get the message. If not, I'd consider getting a gate. But if questioned by the neighbour, I'd be totally spineless in my answer and pretend I was planning to look after a friend's dog or help someone with childcare or whatever and needed a more secure environment 😁.

JoyousPinkPeer · 15/08/2024 18:20

I would put a row of planters with shrubs/plants in along your border if it bothers you. Saying that, as long as no kids whizzing about on bikes, I doubt your car will get scratches so maybe not worth it. I'm guessing they chose garden over a driveway (or their predecessors did so)

Wishihadanalgorithm · 15/08/2024 18:18

How often are the walking on your driveway?

BurntBroccoli · 15/08/2024 18:17

@Mymanyellow
OP can install her own post on her land. It shouldn't be attached to their property anyway.

Mymanyellow · 15/08/2024 18:16

Crumpleton · 15/08/2024 18:07

I've a feeling if you put a gate there your neighbours would still find it easier to open that one rather than zig zag their way through their own access.

If they did though the'd definitely be CF's

Be attached to their fence then though? Spread your cars out a bit? What’s the flooring / paving like? Is it different clearly different from the walkway?

Babanafroufrou · 15/08/2024 18:15

walkway8 · 15/08/2024 17:54

Ideally I want to block off as little of my drive as possible as it's a two car drive currently which is a good selling point of the house.

I'd be annoyed too tbh. We have next door neighbours that have a home business which means their customers frequently block our driveway. Or more often they almost block it but just make it a nightmare to get out. The only reason I haven't kicked off is we're moving soon and I don't want to have to declare an issue with neighbours on the solicitors forms. A gate seems to be the only answer for you.

BurntBroccoli · 15/08/2024 18:15

Crumpleton · 15/08/2024 18:07

I've a feeling if you put a gate there your neighbours would still find it easier to open that one rather than zig zag their way through their own access.

If they did though the'd definitely be CF's

A padlock with a code would easily stop that... plus a good deterrent for anyone just wandering in.

ichifanny · 15/08/2024 18:11

I’d be annoyed at that constant intrusion of put a row of tall plant pots along just to mark out the boundary and they can use their gate .

Simonjt · 15/08/2024 18:10

We had this problem in our house, as we’re both spineless we added a gate in the same place you have planned OP, I blamed our two year old and said we’d put it in to keep her safe, so thats also our excuse for having a lock on the gate.

Marinade · 15/08/2024 18:09

Crumpleton · 15/08/2024 18:07

I've a feeling if you put a gate there your neighbours would still find it easier to open that one rather than zig zag their way through their own access.

If they did though the'd definitely be CF's

Not if it is one of those higher locked gates.