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AIBU?

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Aibu to suggest alcohol is out of fashion in middle class circles?

254 replies

Coffeeandacupcake · 15/08/2024 14:01

Just an observation, out for dinner with friends last Saturday night. We got taxis in, we always had a booze fest but now my friends have either cut out alcohol completely or stuck to one glass of wine or gin & tonic! Is alcohol going out of fashion in over 40, middle class circles or is it just my friends?

OP posts:
rayofsunshine86 · 16/08/2024 09:50

I prefer a glass or two at lunch rather than at dinner (unless I'm eating out). I also drink a lot of water. My friends still get shit-faced regularly though 😆

wheresmyshoe · 16/08/2024 09:48

I'm another one with a wine cellar and have a circle of wine friends. We're more mindful than people would think with most of us having 4-5 nights a week alcohol free. The wines in my collection are precious jewels to me, opening a bottle is a considered decision. I'm fully aware of my unit/calorie consumption and won't waste units/calories.
My non-wine friends are either teetotal, very occasional drinkers or more towards weekend binges. Alcohol consumption has definitely dropped off 40+ and the 20 somethings I know are much more into fitness. They're unimpressed by 40+ colleagues getting wasted at conferences which they see as an embarrassment and certainly not behaviour to emulate.

Putthefanon · 16/08/2024 09:47

I think the other trend seems to be away from quantity and more on quality. People I know would rather spend a decent amount having two or three good quality craft beers from small breweries or a good scotch than having an absolute skin full of any fizzy lager, wine, or cheap cocktail going.

pinkhousesarebest · 16/08/2024 09:47

We still drink- late 50’s. A glass of wine with dinner but wouldn’t drink for the sake of drinking. What is surprising though, is that neither of my uni stage dc drink at all. They hate the taste of it and it is not unusual in their friendship groups. We have had big parties at home and have never had even one vomiter.

LunaNorth · 16/08/2024 09:43

WendyWagon · 16/08/2024 09:17

@LunaNorth congratulations.
I hope you bought something fab with your 50th birthday money. Wicked shoes, a new handbag etc.

Thank you! To be honest, my sober life is the best gift. I can’t believe the difference. Although I have just bought myself a paddleboard. That wouldn’t have been on the radar in my drinking days 😀

Noodlehen · 16/08/2024 09:40

ilovesooty · 15/08/2024 14:36

It sounds pretentious to me. Lots of people drink less than they used to.

Surely you should have answered with that then, rather than ask a question you already know the answer to? 🤔

WendyWagon · 16/08/2024 09:17

@LunaNorth congratulations.
I hope you bought something fab with your 50th birthday money. Wicked shoes, a new handbag etc.

LunaNorth · 16/08/2024 09:03

I’ve just passed my 4 year Soberversary. I stopped drinking when I was 46. It just wasn’t a good look any more.

WendyWagon · 16/08/2024 08:59

This is a very interesting thread.
I posted previously about the long running thread on alcohol support. Join us over there if you need some help.

I live by an Ozzy Osbourne quote these days, 'if you're still drinking like a teenager at 50, you'll be dead by 60'.
It might help someone.

Orangeandgold · 16/08/2024 00:37

I think it’s a trend across the board. I’m in my 30s and so many of my friends don’t drink. The ones that don’t either don’t like who they are when they are drunk or hate how it makes them feel. We’ve had a culture where drinking has been normalised. It was cool - now it’s not anymore if it doesn’t make you feel good. We are in a generation of genuine self care. I think people have found that they can live with a clear head. And would like to remember nights out as opposed to blacking out. Some people want to get home safely if drinking out.

I personally drink socially but never get drunk - I’ve always been like that.

rainbowbee · 15/08/2024 23:56

I'm 40 and I'm the last year two of my closest friends have become teetotal- one due to early menopause and the other can't be bothered with hangovers. I'm sober curious and do a dry month or fortnight here and there. I do think it's changing. A local cocktail bar has a whole range of carefully designed botanical mocktails that are actually nice; in the olden days the non-driver would have had a choice of a soft drink or water. The price of drinking whether going out out or just take out from supermarket has also become insane; that must certainly be a factor too.

RomeoRivers · 15/08/2024 23:32

I used to be a big drinker in my teens and 20s, but since reaching 30 and being pregnant/breastfeeding/parenting I rarely drink now.

Both DH and I find it gives us anxiety now, whereas in my youth (I’m only 34) I didn’t really suffer from hangovers and I had a great time.

Socialising with friends always used to centre around alcohol, but now even the child free ones prefer to do sober dinners or brunch.

Putthefanon · 15/08/2024 23:26

I enjoy a drink but definitely drinking far less than I used to. I thankfully like beer, and there are great alcohol free options out there.

I don’t really see the point of alcohol free wine or spirits. I might as well just have a decent soft drink.

Summatoruvva · 15/08/2024 23:16

Not really. I think the “quiet ones” are more confident in refusing. I find class A and class B drugs have just become more normal as a social prop. This probably depends on area.

Sapphire387 · 15/08/2024 23:07

No, honestly...

DSD's mum... well, I use that word loosely, was an alcoholic who died in her early forties.

It's really put me off. Not a nice way to go, and not a nice legacy to leave.

A lot of my friends are still quite heavy drinkers... we're late thirties. I say 'still' because we all drank heavily in our late teens / early twenties.

Have definitely noticed that younger people don't seem to drink as much.

Charliechocopotts · 15/08/2024 22:29

I suppose Îm middle class and I hardly ever drink Îd rather eat a nice cake 😀 To be honest it often gives me a headache even after just one drink so alcohol doesn’t like me either.

BogRollBOGOF · 15/08/2024 22:26

I enjoyed social drinking at uni, but it calmed down fairly quickly in my 20s when I started working. There were still house parties and trips away. I entered the pregnancy/ BFing phase around 30, and since then seldom have more than an occasional drink at home or over a meal.

I realised in my 20s that alcohol hits my digestive system easily, but I always was a lightweight. Curiously, according to my Garmin, it disrupts my metabolism and sleep less than DH even though he's bigger (when comparing a cider each). It is still a disruption though, and empty calories

I still like a drink, though, just sporadically. There's also a desperate lack of non-alcoholic drinks in pubs that aren't contaminated with awful artificial sweeteners. I'd rather feel bleurgh from the joy of alcohol than an artificial sweetener.

Marine30 · 15/08/2024 22:25

I don’t drink - no special reason, I just don’t like the taste. I’m mid 40s and I’ve always hated saying it to people as anyone my age or older tends to sound amazed, disgusted, disappointed or all three.
Younger people seem a lot more relaxed about the whole abstaining thing and I have noticed some don’t drink, whereas in my age range no one I know doesn’t drink (bar awkward me 😂).

AdviceNeeded2024 · 15/08/2024 20:34

Ladyofthepond · 15/08/2024 20:07

It’s a worldwide company but I only feel confident quoting data from the UK, I know our biggest growth countries are South America, Asia has slowed down a lot but not sure if that’s due to economic pressures more than any other factors. Couldn’t tell you US data. But there’s are huge changes in the UK, although alcohol isn’t about to disappear anytime soon, I do believe attitudes are changing.

Thank you! It must be interesting to you seeing these changes over the years from the business side, rather than the consumer.
It’s always interesting to watch how things change, such as smoking, which was once fashionable is now very much frowned upon. I do wonder like you say whether alcohol will be viewed the same in the future.

I’d like to ask another cheeky question, last one though I don’t want to derail the thread! Was there a marked increase in sales during covid, and then was it a gradual decline or did it drop off rapidly?

Ladyofthepond · 15/08/2024 20:07

AdviceNeeded2024 · 15/08/2024 19:55

This is interesting. May I ask if the company you work for only covers the UK? If not have you noticed trends in other countries of either an increase or decrease in alcohol consumption?

It’s a worldwide company but I only feel confident quoting data from the UK, I know our biggest growth countries are South America, Asia has slowed down a lot but not sure if that’s due to economic pressures more than any other factors. Couldn’t tell you US data. But there’s are huge changes in the UK, although alcohol isn’t about to disappear anytime soon, I do believe attitudes are changing.

AdviceNeeded2024 · 15/08/2024 19:55

Ladyofthepond · 15/08/2024 15:49

I work for one of the biggest alcohol companies in the world, we had a conference last week and 55% of adults in the UK are now moderating their alcohol intake, and 25% of 18-25 years olds don’t drink at all, so things are changing on a large level; our focus brands now also include alcohol free options and the investment is in the alcohol free space, for example Carlsberg have just purchased britvic.

I personally believe that alcohol will be our generations cigarettes (and yes I do have a plan to leave the booze industry at some
point…I’m also nearly 2 years sober!!)

This is interesting. May I ask if the company you work for only covers the UK? If not have you noticed trends in other countries of either an increase or decrease in alcohol consumption?

Coffeeandacupcake · 15/08/2024 19:34

Ladyofthepond · 15/08/2024 15:49

I work for one of the biggest alcohol companies in the world, we had a conference last week and 55% of adults in the UK are now moderating their alcohol intake, and 25% of 18-25 years olds don’t drink at all, so things are changing on a large level; our focus brands now also include alcohol free options and the investment is in the alcohol free space, for example Carlsberg have just purchased britvic.

I personally believe that alcohol will be our generations cigarettes (and yes I do have a plan to leave the booze industry at some
point…I’m also nearly 2 years sober!!)

This is very interesting & I haven't been too far off in my observations!

OP posts:
JoJothegerbil · 15/08/2024 18:38

I'm 52 and still enjoy a drink but I've massively cut down. I rarely drink at home now and will only have 3 or 4 small glasses of wine with soda if we go out. I hate the two day hangovers, disturbed sleep and am far less tolerant of drunks now. I don't think it's a MC thing, more a middle age thing.

Thepeopleversuswork · 15/08/2024 18:37

There’s obviously an aging and health dimension to this but I think the OP is right that heavy drinking into and beyond middle age is more of a taboo than it used to be.

My parents were both everyday drinkers (my dad was a high functioning alcoholic, my mum wasn’t but went along with him to keep the peace and keep him company). It was more normal to open a bottle of wine at dinner than not: most people in their social did that and if they went out anywhere they would get sloshed, well into their 70s. It was just what people did. They encouraged my sister and I to drink daily (under the classic MC fig leaf of “drink like the French”) from our teens.

That kind of automatic daily drinking is definitely less common and nowadays it’s mildly frowned upon, I think.

I think people are far more aware that even fairly moderate alcohol consumption daily comes at a cost. As PPs have said people are generally fitter and high alcohol consumption when you 40+ and work or have kids is not something you can do daily.

Ribenaberry12 · 15/08/2024 18:28

I bloody love wine and I wish I could sink it as much as I’d like to but the truth is it makes me fat and my hangovers stink so now I save it for social occasions only and don’t drink at home at all.