My girlfriend always tells me I should leave her - and I’m tired

My boyfriend does this. Once he said it and I agreed. We split up and he said he instantly regretted it. We kept in touch and drifted back together and while he does still say it sometimes, I can feel a shift that he’s not testing me now, as he knows I can/will walk away. He genuinely wants me to be happy and because of his MH issues he doesn’t think he can make me happy. He doesn’t realise that it’s not his job, I’m happy anyway, with or without him. I’m just with him because I love him, whether he’s happy or sad, fun or in need of reassurance. Hopefully one day he’ll realise that I’ve been here all along, that he didn’t need to worry, but in the meantime I just laugh when he says it,

Here are some techniques for dealing with that habit.

In addition have a conversation with her about why you are with her and ask her to repeat it back to you. Ask her if she thinks you are lying. If she brings this up in conversation on an unrelated issue - remind her of this conversation -that she already knows the answer - and say you don’t want to be diverted.

www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/between-the-generations/202108/how-to-manage-difficult-feedback-from-your-partner?amp=

Even if it's not manipulation (it is), but let's say it's self esteem.. then you need to counter with how you feel, and how her words impact you negatively, and how her actions and words impact your relationship, and that only she can work on her self esteem, and that you can support, you can remind her this self depreciation does no benefit to her or you etc. and that she needs to find ways to heal herself.

You're probably a "fixer", this will "feed" her, as she wants to always be the broken one you will always be desperately wanting to fix. It's very toxic. Call it out.

She's doing it on purpose. I'd take her up on her offer, I couldn't be going out with someone who acted like that

I’m going to get flamed for this so I’m putting my hard hat on. I used to do this in my very early days with my now DH. There was no conscious manipulation, I just never felt worthy of him because I was so low on myself. After a while he told me how it made him feel and I agreed to stop using those words, I also agreed to a clean slate where I don’t let my past dictate my judgment of him. I slowly started believing in him and his feelings for me and within the year I was the most secure I’d ever felt. Twenty years later we’re married with two wonderful children and a dog. Not every insecure person uses it as a weapon; some of us just need a little help along the way.

You can’t “fix / change” her.

Can you imagine living like this indefinitely? For years?

Consider ending the relationship. It’s not going to magically get better, just worse.
Best wishes to you.

Whether she is being manipulative or not that sounds exhausting, and it doesn't sound like it's going to improve. You have told her how you feel, perhaps you should tell her that this is a deal breaker for you and she needs to work on her self esteem and stop this constant negativity or you really will have to leave.

You're only 26. Life's too short for all that drama. Move on. Leave her to it.

Have a conversation with her and ask her to cut it out. Tell her how it makes you feel and ask her would would give her the reassurance she needs.

Don't be deceived. This is manipulation 101. Suggest you Google some of those statement, you'll find a lot more information on how to spot and how to deal.

She is obviously very insecure and is constantly seeking reassurance that she does make you happy, you don't want to be with anyone else etc etc. But no matter how many times you tell her, she will never stop needing that confirmation

The trouble is, unless she seeks help for this it will not change and will drain the life out of you.

Honestly, you're only 26 - life is too short for this malarkey. In answer to your question, you can't have a relationship with someone like this - not a happy one anyway.

This is really shitty emotional manipulation on her part. She’s guilt tripping you every time you argue.