Would you expect adult stepson to help with household chores if he worked and you didn't?

He needs to contribute to chores .... or he can pay you to do his share.

If the bath is cleaned after a bath then he's not cleaning the scum he's cleaning the bathroom in general no different to cleaning the kitchen it's a communal area

It’s not his baths that I’m talking about though, it’s the two young children’s. Please read.

I read it that the bathroom is cleaned a few times a week like most people do not that it's the only clean....he's capable of soap scrubbing and if he's been taught to clean a bath after himself it's not an issue.

This all seems a bit pointless until the OP comes back and clarifies things. It's been 2 days.

Of course he helps. Lazy and entitled little so and so. Please please help his future partner by teaching him housework is not women’s work, you are home to care for children not clean up after his lazy arse.

When you say clean the bathroom, do you mean scrub the bath, scrub the toilet, mop the floor, clean the mirror…? What sort of a state is the bathroom generally in, and how long do you imagine the job would take him? If it’s something he’s never done before, and if it’s something he’s not seen his dad do before, the task might sound like a big job to him, when in fact it might be something which takes 20 mins max. If you have a good relationship with him, it might be worth softening it, and saying look I know you aren’t happy about me asking you to do this, but can I just talk you through/show you what I’m asking you to do? You might really help him with skills for the future!

Also, as an aside, I laughed when I saw someone had written “if you clean the bathroom every day and you’re asking him to clean it once a week so that you can have one day off a week, can you just clean it six times a week and not clean it on the seventh?”. It was news to me that some people clean their bathrooms every single day!

You're not his servant. He's a fully functioning adult. Of course he should do something

I’m not sure what your point is. Either you clean it fully after every use, or it will need a bigger clean after a period of time. The OP’s son is being asked to do that bigger clean. It will inevitably involve some soap scrubbing because that’s the nature of the job.

At 12, cleaning my parents ensuite became my job every weekend. My 14yo brother did the family bathroom. The idea that people think it’s not acceptable to ask a 23 yo man to clean a bathroom or ‘have chores’ is stunning.

He's an adult and going to Bea pretty shit partner to someone expecting to do nothing to contribute other than money....perpetuating the it's women's work men are the main breadwinner god crap

Soap off the bath after a week.....
Don't you wipe yours after getting out?

Yes he should be helping out - he is an adult and the alternative is he would be living out of the home and would have to be doing it himself. Just because you are at home doesn't mean you are not looking after children and he equally is an adult member of the household that should be pulling his weight.

You really do need to speak to your DH about this so he can support you.
This is so depressing that he is getting away with being so disrespectful. At the very least I would say stop cooking for him and fully expect him to cook for himself AND clean up after himself when he has cooked.
Does your husband do chores? If not, he is clearly following the example.

In a family, aren't bathrooms usually shared by multiple people. I'm lucky enough to have a small family so we do actually have our own bathrooms, but this wasn't the case growing up and probably not for most. I'm finding this so strange, do most people have shit covered toilets or something? I don't understand what is so bad with cleaning a bathroom. When I was in a house share, we took turns. Not a big deal.

He should be expected to clean the bathroom once a week and, if you are cooking for him, then he should take fair shares in washing up. He should be doing his own washing and clean his own room/change his own sheets and wash his own towels and sheets. He should also tidy up after himself if he leaves stuff in communal areas of the house.

No, you won’t get him to clean the bathroom but he could mow the lawn, put the bins out. Be reasonable no one will clean the tioilet if they can get out of it ime.

His gf's in for a big shock if they decide to progress the relationship to moving in together and starting a family.

You don't believe in chores?? So who should clean the bathroom then??

@Itsjustmeheretoday its one thing to know how to clean your own bathroom it’s totally another to clean a shared by multiple people bathroom and equally another to do it as part of your employment role.

Under 25?! Ffs. This is why kids move out of home and are completely useless. And usually the males make terrible partners. I think once you're about 15 you should start to learn to do everything (you don't have to do it all, but it's good to start learning). I speak from the pov of a spoilt child who moved out and was completely useless, I actually wish my mum had given me some of these life skills.

So my dd works full time. I work part time and have a young dc. Cooks for herself in the week, but I usually cook at weekends. I generally do pots and cleaning of communal areas. She does her own washing and room. She also babysits when needed.

I'd say he should definitely do something, I'd suggest he either does a communal job oncea week or he starts doing his own cooking/pots. Your not his housemaid

8 pages in, my two cents worth i don't think the bathroom is the right task to assign a 23 yr old although everyone uses the bathroom for someone under 25 they probably think of it as a really icky job and the worse job of them all. i'd find 2 other options and let him pick.
sucks to be the step son to a dad that went on to have a herd of other kids and at the end of the week be stuck cleaning their shit up.

Regardless of who works and who doesn't, wherever you live as an adult you should expect to contribute to the upkeep. If he uses the bathroom, living areas, kitchen etc and benefits from you cooking for him it is absolutely not unreasonable to expect him to do some of the housework, just like everyone else. He can play for a cleaner if he doesn't want to do it himself but presumably the arrangement you have with your partner which enables him to work is for you to look after the little ones during the day. That's your job. Just because you don't get paid for it doesn't mean it isn't work.

what’s wrong with a young person living in a houseshare! It’s good for young people - character building!

There you go again with the character building crap. It's like you get commission for every person you get in a house share, you say it all the time on here.

House shares can be good for some people, but they're miserable for lots of people too. I hated it. Young adults in my family have had to live in house shares for uni and none have particularly enjoyed them. They plan on living with parents after uni for a while, saving and then buying their own house and I can't blame them.