To think most online adult ADHD diagnoses are bullshit?

Prescription stimulants most certainly don't. They might make a non ADHDer stay awake longer, but they have no effect on performance (whereas the effect in ADHDers is very large).

I do also know several people who did online assessments (that is, interviews with professionals over Teams type calls, not just an online quiz!) for ADHD, one through the NHS interestingly! But with the private ones too, there were initial screenings, people's partners/parents were interviewed and/or provided evidence...... it isn't just self-reporting!

And yes I have diverged from the original post, but I am not simply responding to that, but to many other comments I have read in the thread as a whole.

I was diagnosed privately as an adult (in an actual in-person clinic, if that matters) by three professionals with decades of NHS diagnostic experience between them.

It absolutely wasn't just on the basis of self reported symptoms.....my husband submitted very detailed written information and completed various lengthy questionnaires, I provided statements from friends and relatives relating to childhood and also evidence from years ago from my school. There was also the direct observation of my behaviour during the assessment sessions (yes, multiple).

I am also currently awaiting NHS assessment for related /commonly co-occurring types of neurodivergence, and have many relatives diagnosed with autism and ADHD on the NHS, if that helps to convince anyone that I didn't just make this all up for benefits or as an excuse for being a bit mediocre (I unfortunately feel the need to say that after reading many responses in here!

Private clinics charge a lot of money and also in my experience have screening tests/initial introductory appointments before someone is put through for a full assessment.... is someone gets through the initial screening and is prepared to pay up to £2000 for the assessment (not for the diagnosis!) then of course there is a very high likelihood of the diagnosis being given....they must be pretty certain to pay so much and there must be enough evidence to get that far. The experience was also DRAINING and very soul-destroying......I can't imagine anyone wanting to go through it if they didn't really feel the need to!

My reason for wanting a diagnosis, for those who have wondered (and it is a diagnosis and NOT a label FFS!) was to save my life, frankly! Older close relatives have died way before their time directly due to what was SO clearly undiagnosed ADHD......impulsive, risk-taking behaviour, additions due to self medication with other substances..... my own life was starting to increasingly spiral and I genuinely felt I was starting to go the same way they did. I was aware by then that various relatives of mine had been diagnosed (several on the NHS) and the genetic links and similarities to myself and my own struggles seemed blindly obvious.

I was born in at a time when there was absolutely no hope of being diagnosed as a child (as a girl especially!) but in hindsight it is just so, so obvious. I was just given a whole load of other negative labels as a young child, rather than my correct diagnosis, and I'm sure many women of a similar age have experienced the same thing.... hence many people looking into assessment now (especially if their children start getting diagnosed).

I genuinely believe the medication is life-saving for me, and no I wasn't prepared to wait four plus years on the NHS for it (which was what my GP told me the wait would be) in case my ADHD killed me in that time! I'm not being over-dramatic there either.... the impact on ADHD (undiagnosed/untreated especially) on life expectancy is grim stuff, as seen clearly in my own family. I am quite prepared to wait for assessments of wider, related neurodivergence on the NHS, because that doesn't threaten my health and wellbeing in such a similar way.

Threads like this make me feel so upset and embarrassed to share my private diagnosis with anyone, as there is clearly SUCH a lot of judgement and misinformation. One day I might learn not to click on such things, as they can be SO upsetting to read (emotional dysregulation can be a massive part of ADHD, along with rejection sensitivity)....

I won't be able to cope emotionally with coming back to read any replies, so PLEASE nobody response and tag me.....I just felt that I had to at least try and tackle some of the rampant disinformation and judgement that I have read here......

I have abysmal spatial awareness too so probably a bit of dyspraxia as well. I was always terrible at any sport that required hand eye coordination and never got picked for any teams at school and again my inability to find my way around and getting lost are the butt of family jokes eg I can't find my way around the town I've lived in for 20 years. Can't draw for toffee. Can't assemble flat pack furniture

Fortunately I have a really excellent memory that people remark upon and good verbal and analytical abilities and emotional intelligence and it turns out those can take you a long way.

People are different. What does neurodiverse even mean? I used to take it as a polite way of saying autistic but now it seemingly applies to lots of people. Surely everyone has different cognitive abilities.

I have abysmal spatial awareness. Struggle to park, appallling sense of direction eg will get lost in a small office I have visited before. I am pretty sure I was dyspraxic as a child but learnt strategies to handle it. Can't catch a ball, can't walk along a bench, that kind of thing.

I am not sure how helpful an assessment and label is to people?

I have two kids who are now teens
I don't think DD shows any signs. She is more like her dad calm and organised. She has started to organise me!
DS is certainly mega fidgety in an annoying way and disorganised like me but he seems to be doing OK at school (as did I) so I think he will get away with it.

When they were younger I guess I just assumed I was crap at being a mum and rolled with the fact that I frequently forgot stuff and was late. I've always been the higher earner and DH does a decent amount of parenting so I guess he mitigated some of my crapness. Breastfeeding and baby led weaning meant not having to remember to take bottles/ baby food. I consume a lot of caffeine and have a high tolerance of minimal sleep. I can recall having to buy new swimming stuff on at least one occasion because I'd forgotten it and coats/ wellies.

In fact being menopausal is starting to be the thing that is making me cope less well. I am finding I have less energy and tolerance of late nights now. I am hoping to be able to cut down my work hours in the next 5 years.

I don't know? Maybe you could access benefits which then mean you can access further help eg heating, pension credit and so on?

@ThePure do you have children, if you don't mind me asking? I feel like I might be a bit more able to accept my fate the way you do, and say oh well this is just me I have to work around it. But now I have 3 children... one of them is showing early signs of having ADHD himself so I feel a responsibility there to properly address this issue. They wake up at 6am (doing all nighters/cramming til 4am therefore no longer works for me). They finish school at 3.45 - it's unbelievably frustrating that I have an entirely wfh remote role where I am my own boss, and yet I piss about all day half starting tasks and not getting through a to-do list, and then feel stressed at pick up time, or can't spend time with them after work and have to have wrap around care that I wouldn't otherwise need. It's frustrating that I forget something vitally important every time we go somewhere (all their swimming costumes on a swimming excursion last weekend). I used to be able to cover my inefficiency with late finishes at work (if anything looking more dedicated), but I can't do that now. After i've wrangled them into bed after the 85th story at 8pm, I have 2 hours to see my husband and then ideally I need to be in bed at 10pm to function well the next day and not snap at them and lose my shit! And for the past 4 years I have been massively failing at that, and that is why I may now finally seek a diagnosis. Not because I couldn't somewhat succeed as my old self but because it seriously does not serve me to be her anymore and after 4 years of struggling away trying to be different, trying to be more disciplined, etc, I think I either need to quit work or admit defeat and seek diagnosis.

This is the first exactly how I feel
I am certain I could get a diagnosis if I wanted one.

My disorganisation and lateness has been a standing joke with anyone who knows me since I was a kid. I am late for everything all the time and I lose everything all the time. I start so many tasks and never finish any of them etc etc. I am very fidgety. I lack patience and get told off for interrupting people.

But I function to a very high level in a job that plays to my strengths. I can multi task very well and I passed all my exams by staying up and cramming last minute. I still pull all nighters the day before work deadlines having procrastinated until the last minute. I am really good at what I do so people put up with my lateness and disorder and continue to employ me. At work I have a great secretary who organises me. I wish I could have one for home too.

I don't get why having managed to get to my late 40s just assuming this is my personality I would suddenly need a diagnostic label. We don't have labels for people who have lifelong poor memory function or poor spatial awareness. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses in their cognitive profile. It should be only 3-4% of adults who would meet a diagnostic threshold but suddenly it does feel like a whole lot more than that.

If they do not diagnose ADHD they get unhappy customers.
Why would they risk losing their licence? ADHD diagnosis in adults is based on self reporting.
Who would report them and on what basis? You do need proof of medical violations.

But how does KNOWING you have ADHD help with hormone changes at menopause? I'm lost at that.

But why would they bother?

1 they get paid either way
2 they risk losing their licence to practise
3 why would they risk the above

Also why is no one ever reporting these dodgy professionals and clinics?

Every time someone pops on here to say this not a single person has ever reported it. Why?

An online diagnosis of anything is not reliable. Properly, real life, qualified professionals are the ones to diagnose.

Its to help you not fall apart when you hit the menopause.

Hormonal changes are triggers for women who are ND completely falling apart.

Influencers particularly those that manage to do it for a few years are more likely to have ADHD than the average person. They have to keep making new content to keep people interested e.g. keep showing people their new shiny stones.

Also their lifestyles are completely false. The ones who do the home stuff have help keeping their homes tidy. Most have an editor, a camera person and an assistant.

"neat ladies organising multiple events a day and keeping a perfect home do not have it. They just paid £600 to Adhd-4-u and (to everyone's suprise !) came out with a diagnosis"

@OptimismvsRealism your OP has RSD written all over it. Who are you to say that someone else's diagnosis has been pursed by them simply so they can cover up intellectual shortcomings? I'm interested in why you select this group as your example?

I'm sure you know that a diagnosis of ADHD is far more than an assessment of executive function and not just about present functioning. The clinical measures are not "quizzes" and though the diagnosis is based on self reporting assessors can and do ask for historical evidence such as school reports, forensic history, family input and family history. The diagnosis is very much about the co-morbidities which are such an important element in the idiosyncratic picture. I don't think any of us are in a position to dismiss someone else investigating or having a diagnosis if we don't have the full picture of their lives. Nor can any of us say that someone's diagnosis is invalid unless we have been present at the assessment and have expertise (not individual lived experience).

YANBU OP but you just have to wait it out.

I don’t have ADHD but I’ve got OCD, diagnosed by a psychiatrist at a point when I was so unwell we were having conversations about whether I needed to be in hospital in not. A few years ago OCD was the fashionable ‘ooooh maybe I’ve got that’ set of letters and I had people telling me constantly that they ‘had it too’ then describing a completely normal set of behaviours. Totally minimises of the impact the actual condition has had on my life.

Don’t worry, it’ll be something else soon and you’ll get a rest.

Lol. I do both those things but don't think I have ADHD.

I'm wondering though what's the actual point of getting diagnosis by whatever means in your 40s/59s

I'm totally with you OP. I have no doubt at all that if I went there for a diagnosis, I'd get it. It's very easy to focus on the criteria that are linked to ADHD, convince yourself you hav it and as such come across as someone who has ADHD.

What has changed is that only people who couldn't cope with the manifestation got a diagnosis. Nowadays, people have functioning ADHD, but find it very hard, so want a diagnosis. They of course the benefits that also come with ADHD. They also oh ore the fact that just about everyone has something that hols them up and makes life harder than our seemingly totally functioning friends and neighbours.

We now associate crashing afterwards as a symptom of the diagnosis and 'masking' a new named symptom too. Again, just about everyone 'mask' to some level, be in that they tend to get angry quicker than average, that they are slower than average, they are shy, introverted, too extroverted....

I'm a functioning ADHD person. They key word is not ADHD but functioning. Yes ADHD has held me back in some circumstances, it has also allow me to multitask and to think quicker than average.

At the end of the day, it's made me. And yes, some thing's would most likely be made easier with some drugs, but it wouldn't be me anymore. I just continue to cope as I've done all my life because...I'm functioning!

Why are people engaging with the OP?
This is the most obvious troll post I've seen on here.

The OP is absolutely RELISHING pissing people off, they know they're talking horseshit.

Ignore them, they don't have ADHD, they're just an arsehole that enjoys winding up those that do.

Pity them if anything. Imagine having no life and needing to do this sort of thing to get something out of your day.

That isn't the only thing you said in your OP though, is it?

You suggested you can tell who has it by how organised they are, that people are saying they have ADHD when in fact they are just stupid and/or weak.

If you can't see how that might seriously impact someone who is scared to speak up and talk about the possibility of having it then maybe you're the one with mediocre intellect.