To think most online adult ADHD diagnoses are bullshit?

I think it's because we've collectively decided that it's not ok for people have certain traits. That if you don't have a condition, then you are not allowed to be forgiven for errors. If you don't have a condition, you need to TRY HARDER.

Look at all the threads about people being late, for instance. You aren't allowed to be a bit scatty. If you are a bit late, that's selfishness, and the friendship is cut off.

You seem to have a wonderful understanding of who you are, and don't feel the need to justify it to anyone - I think that's great. However, I think a lot of people end up needing a diagnosis to justify themselves to others, so they are allowed to be themselves.

I have ADHD (not diagnosed online) and I think it’s pretty gross how people jealously cling to their diagnosis and say anyone who isn’t like them is misdiagnosed/faking/attention seeking. We aren’t all the same, I might be totally different to you, does that mean my diagnosis is bullshit too? Is everyone’s who isn’t like you? It’s not a fashion, it’s not cool to be like, the only one with real ADHD and to call everyone else a fake!

Yep you must be, given the actual stats and not the made up ones and also the huge amount of exaggerated inflammatory bullshit this subject causes.

I must live within an anomaly then, I know at least 7 families in my closest circle (workmates and friends) with at least one child diagnosed with ASD. And the profession I currently work in (midwifery) is not known for attracting more people wuth autism (as opposed to my previous profession as a research scientist, where being in the spectrum was almost a given).

Rejection disorder can be catastrophic. It causes suicidal idealisation in my daughter.

Where is your evidence and stats for that? Diagnosis costs ££££ .Yiu can barely get 1 diagnosis on the NHS the wait is long.

https://www.webmd.com/add-adhd/adhd-meds-stop-working

They don’t work for everybody.

Funny bar my children I know very few people who have children with autism.

Your stats don’t add up. Percentage with autism in uk is 1% and percentage with autism is 4%.

There's a newish Cambridge/Melbourne study that shows worsening function with stimulants for non ADHDers.

There's a lot of evidence that stimulants are very very helpful for those with ADHD

To be honest, and as a devil's advocate, the hordes of MumsNetters jumping into the thread to tell their own stories about how they are brilliant and academic, but now they understand why they couldn't cope with life after their ADHD diagnosis, and the ones complaining that some drs won't "diagnose my DC" are not doing themselves any favours.

I have thought for a while and, of all my friends with children (which are many) I can't think of a single one who doesn't have at least one child with a diagnosis of ADHD, ASD, dyslexia, dyspraxia, anxiety, depression, or who is not identifying as transgender or pansexual.I know they are completely independent conditions and situations all of them, but it all keeps you wondering whether we are all just desperate to have a label that explains why it's just simply so hard to cope with modern life, or accept oneself the way they are.

Some days ago there was a thread asking how many people felt like they "had their shit together". In a thread of many, many pages there were only 2 posters (one of them myself) who said we felt we had our shit together and were coping with life. Everyone else felt "panicked, barely coping, on the outside I look like my life is perfect, but inside I am falling apart".

When I was a teenager I couldn't make friends. I didn't understand social rules. I had tics. I had special interests. I was brilliant academically. I can't recognise faces. I can't orientate myself (often I get into a shop and don't remember which way I came in when i come out). I have echolalia. I had to train hard to be able to look people in the eye (I often don't, just look right below it). I am sure if I sought a diagnosis I would come up as ASD, and some people have also told me I would probably be ADHD too. But you know what? I actually think I am a person who had some difficulties, as others had other difficulties, and have managed to achieve a state of certain success in life. Would I have been happier and felt more "on top of things" with a diagnosis, and therapy, and medication? To be honest, I seriously doubt it, as I have multiple examples around me of people of all ages who were diagnosed at different points in time, and despite how much better they say they are, in practice they are still not coping with life and are having pretty much the same issues they had before the diagnosis.

I am sure people in the extremes of the conditions benefit from intervention. But most people with certain traits? I personally think they'd do much better accepting that everyone struggles with certain parts of being a human, and that modern life makes being a human harder.

90% of the population cannot simply have a "condition" that makes them "so different from everyone else". In fact, it looks like having a developmental condition is now the norm. How much of this is simply that the lives we live in this current, crazy world simply make it hard to be a fully-functioning human and feel a success?

I have no answers, but geting offended and attacking the OP makes it impossible to debate this. I cannot be the only one who has seen these conditions become the norm in almost every family.

At the very least the drugs will cause weight loss which would be enough for many people to want them. Cheaper than Mountjaro.

Given this is definitely a spectrum disorder then I don't understand why the drugs would not work for everyone to some degree. And they do have a street value and always have done even before ADHD was widely recognised so presumably they must have an effect that people like. I have occasion to talk to quite a lot of people who abuse stimulants and many of them say that they like the effect on focus and take them eg to be able to stay up all night gaming.

@Nadeed but they wouldn't necessarily increase test scores for people with ADHD either, they just might focus the mind on what the question is asking.
Most people would benefit from stimulants. Hence why they have such a street value.

@LameBorzoi Actually just been googling, They increase focus and concentration, but there is no evidence they improve performance in test scores for those with ADHD or without.

No they don't. The latest research shows that if you don't have ADHD, they make your performance WORSE.

Stimulants do improve everyone's performance.

@voiceofastar because in none of the conditions you have listed are the people being assessed so invested in receiving a diagnosis. If my daughter doesn't receive a diagnosis for ADHD, I will not be going to another psychiatrist or disbelieving what they say, like so many do with ADHD. It's bizarre that if someone is diagnosed then obviously that psychiatrist is accurate and trustworthy but if they don't diagnose then they're obviously 'bad at understanding masking or presentations in women' etc.
On that note, all human beings mask, it's literally a survival adaption due to us being social creatures.

Also referrals for mental health conditions such as depression, bipolar etc did not go up 268% after lockdown. Why aren't there people paying thousands to hear that they've got emotional intensity? Or making memes about it on Tiktok? There certainly are influencers who speak about this, but people don't relate to these things in the way they do a woman who says 'I forgot a relatives birthday whoops! That's ADHD for you!'

People are not desperately wanting to be diagnosed with depression, GAD or OCD, paying privately to get diagnosed with these conditions or posting on social media about these diagnoses like they do with ADHD. It is indeed very puzzling.

Everybody urinates, but if you're doing it all the time and it is disabling you it's probably a disorder.

In the same vein, nobody likes rejection, but if you experience sensitivity to rejection, perceived rejection and criticism and you have a strong emotional response, it triggers the fight or flight reflex, or it's disproportionate to the context of the rejection, then it's probably a disorder.

Rejection sensitivity disorder is just one symptom that isn't always present but is in many cases of neurodivergence where emotional regulation is impacted because of physiological differences within our amygdala.

emotional dysregulation can be a massive part of ADHD, along with rejection sensitivity

You mention there 2 more things that bother me. I don't know? Now I'm beginning to wonder what's what. But nobody enjoys rejection?

You could say the same about depression, generalised anxiety disorder, OCD or any other condition for which there are no biomarkers or signs that can be observed in diagnostic imaging. I don't know why ADHD is being singled out in this regard. It's very puzzling.

Those who are saying that psychiatrists won't diagnose what isn't there don't know how the diagnostic criteria works. It can be adapted to fit whatever narrative suits. If they think they can get you to pay for medication through them then it's worth them looking for evidence. It's what they're not asking, as much as what they are asking.
I don't know a single person who hasn't received a diagnosis when they have been privately assessed. We frequently see people with personality disorders (now known as complex emotional needs) who go on to get private ADHD or autism diagnosis. Job done, they now don't have to do any work on themselves, or talk about their trauma.

@FuckKnowsMate no, because the reason I wasn't diagnosed is because my parents couldn't do the form and I couldn't say with certainty if I experienced some of the features before aged 8, so the psychiatrist said if I don't remember it's a "no", so I didn't meet the childhood criteria.

I think that the only thing making ADHD look embarrassing here, is you

You clearly have some issues still to work through regarding your diagnosis which is fair enough. It's not ok to come here and patronise anyone (most people) that do not share your opinion though

I am a non-online diagnosed ADHDer. I am often called super organised. My house is like a show home most of the time. It has to be this way. I learnt how to cope with myself, after 40 years of being undiagnosed, by running the tightest ship possible. If one thing isn't put away/organised/dealt with immediately, then the wheels come off the whole thing. I've spent a fortune on storage so every single, tiny thing has it's own place. I have very strict routines for myself. The amount of alarms and calendar reminders are insane but it's the only way to keep myself in check. That in itself is exhausting but it's better than the absolute chaos that I had in my 20s and 30s

I do believe that I have missed opportunities because of my ADHD, I know that there's going to be more. I don't blame my ADHD. I don't think that it's a bad thing though, I love how my brain works. Not so much of a fan of the OCD symptoms that come with it but they are another thing that I have learned to control

Yes, there are people out there that claim they have ADHD, mostly with only a self diagnosis but I just roll my eyes internally and carry on. Anyone that truly cares about me, and/or ADHD in general, are usually happy to have a conversation and can understand how it affects me and makes me different to them. I trust that they have the intelligence and understanding to see the difference between those that do have ADHD and those that are desperately trying to find an excuse for their own failings

Some points of yours are possibly valid but have been lost in this conversation thanks to your attitude

Now I'm heading back to the pile of items to put on Vinted that have been gathering dust/cobwebs/who knows what else in the corner of my dining room for approx 4 months because if I don't sort them out before my daughter gets back from holiday then I do not doubt that she'll carry out her threat to burn them