To think most online adult ADHD diagnoses are bullshit?

I do think it's understandable that, in a society that rewards having an "identity", everyone wants one. And ADHD is relatively safe.

Of course. Who doesn’t in this day and age? Not only do I know what it is, according to many online tests at least, I very definitely have it! But I have strategies that make my life easier and they work so why do I need a label?

One of my parents absolutely has ADHD that is debilitating and essentially means they can’t do anything, and I mean anything. A total lack of executive function that has shaped their whole life. But because of their generation they have been written off as a bit odd. Diagnosis and medication would have been truly beneficial to them.

Do you even know what adhd is?

Surely you understand that the poster you’re replying to means safe if you don’t really have it.

Obviously many people do have ADHD that impacts massively on their life. But if you are just a little bit scatty, claiming an ADHD identity can make you feel part of something, bring social benefits in certain circles, give you a ready-made excuse for your failures and so on. It’s safe. It’s reassuring. And it’s a spectrum disorder so no one will bat an eye if it doesn’t seem all that debilitating.

How is adhd safe? You have to let insurance know, it can impact work , often has comorbities such as autism and sufferers often have impulsivity and mental health struggles too. 2 of my children were fast tracked due to risk to life as a result of suspected adhd.

Posters really need to do their research properly before posting. It’s hugely damaging.

Um she can’t just drop it. 🤔If she could she wouldn’t have a diagnosis. She doesn’t want a tribe.

Very sorry to hear that. I feel rejection, " take things to heart" worry, ruminate, can't let it drop.
But I am not a young person. I just have to suck it up and get on.

Maybe there's something in that. We all want to belong , to be part of. Maybe a diagnosis gives people their tribe.

The tone of the OP is incredibly goady but I do think it’s likely that ADHD is being overdiagnosed. It’s still real, though.

If you are fundamentally able to function well (or even extremely well, as some on this thread seem to be) I am not sure why you need a diagnosis for what amounts to some challenging personality traits.

Very sorry to hear that. I feel rejection, " take things to heart" worry, ruminate, can't let it drop.
But I am not a young person. I just have to suck it up and get on.

Maybe there's something in that. We all want to belong , to be part of. Maybe a diagnosis gives people their tribe.

Rejection disorder can be catastrophic. It causes suicidal idealisation in my daughter.

Everybody urinates, but if you're doing it all the time and it is disabling you it's probably a disorder.

In the same vein, nobody likes rejection, but if you experience sensitivity to rejection, perceived rejection and criticism and you have a strong emotional response, it triggers the fight or flight reflex, or it's disproportionate to the context of the rejection, then it's probably a disorder.

Rejection sensitivity disorder is just one symptom that isn't always present but is in many cases of neurodivergence where emotional regulation is impacted because of physiological differences within our amygdala.

I agree, the BBC did an expose about this a few years ago, people logging into a Zoom call and being "diagnosed" in 10 minutes by someone who wasn't even a doctor.

My student-aged DS has recently been diagnosed (privately as the NHS is not interested) and it involved 2 separate meetings with a consultant psychiatrist, endless questionnaires, I had to tell them all about my pregnancy and how he was as a young child, supply any school reports we had... it was not a quick process at all! If he thinks he needs medication then that will involve more appointments to get the drug dose right - he hasn't gone down this road yet. Our GP will write the actual prescription under shared care, but the appointments will have to be private.

I do think it's understandable that, in a society that rewards having an "identity", everyone wants one. And ADHD is relatively safe.

I think LameBorzoi had a really interesting point that this society that is supposed to be very tolerant in fact requires you to have a diagnosis of something to access that tolerance and sympathy. Just being a bit eccentric doesn't cut it any longer which I think it did when I was younger.

The commonest reason I hear for people wanting an ND diagnosis (especially autism which is not treatable) is to understand themselves/ others to understand them which I think is a bit sad that we can't accept other's differences without a diagnosis. Also what about all the people whose cognitive challenges don't have a commonly accepted cause?

I do always feel shit when I see threads about how being late is a moral failing and disrespectful. I do kinda think that myself and am ashamed of it but I am still usually late. I am apologetic about it and I never think it's OK I just never manage to be there on time whatever I do because I always get distracted by one more task that I think I can fit in before leaving. Still I don't think that if I had an ADHD diagnosis I or anyone else would feel better about my lateness.

This is really insulting. I have ADHD, I also have my ‘shit together’, and a diagnosis helped me to get myself together and do the best I can in various ways by allowing me to understand myself and be gentle with myself.

As for what you’ve said about everyone having something - I am a teacher, so know countless children. I have two children with lots of friends. I personally only know 1 autistic child, and know OF one autistic child.l (don’t know personally but a friend’s sisters child). I know none with anything else you’ve ever mentioned. I only know one adult who have recently been diagnosed with ADHD and autism. That’s it. And I know a LOT of people. So I think you’re grossly exaggerating.

Also, listing your issues and then saying that you’d probably get an ADHD diagnosis is very odd. It’s very cruel and smug and like you’re bragging that you’re better than everyone else because you didn’t need to seek help or get a diagnosis? Lots of people go undiagnosed and manage to do life, others choose to seek help. Neither one is better than the other, it’s an odd thing to be competitive about. We are all different and need different levels of support.

To be honest, and as a devil's advocate, the hordes of MumsNetters jumping into the thread to tell their own stories about how they are brilliant and academic, but now they understand why they couldn't cope with life after their ADHD diagnosis, and the ones complaining that some drs won't "diagnose my DC" are not doing themselves any favours.

I have thought for a while and, of all my friends with children (which are many) I can't think of a single one who doesn't have at least one child with a diagnosis of ADHD, ASD, dyslexia, dyspraxia, anxiety, depression, or who is not identifying as transgender or pansexual.I know they are completely independent conditions and situations all of them, but it all keeps you wondering whether we are all just desperate to have a label that explains why it's just simply so hard to cope with modern life, or accept oneself the way they are.

Some days ago there was a thread asking how many people felt like they "had their shit together". In a thread of many, many pages there were only 2 posters (one of them myself) who said we felt we had our shit together and were coping with life. Everyone else felt "panicked, barely coping, on the outside I look like my life is perfect, but inside I am falling apart".

When I was a teenager I couldn't make friends. I didn't understand social rules. I had tics. I had special interests. I was brilliant academically. I can't recognise faces. I can't orientate myself (often I get into a shop and don't remember which way I came in when i come out). I have echolalia. I had to train hard to be able to look people in the eye (I often don't, just look right below it). I am sure if I sought a diagnosis I would come up as ASD, and some people have also told me I would probably be ADHD too. But you know what? I actually think I am a person who had some difficulties, as others had other difficulties, and have managed to achieve a state of certain success in life. Would I have been happier and felt more "on top of things" with a diagnosis, and therapy, and medication? To be honest, I seriously doubt it, as I have multiple examples around me of people of all ages who were diagnosed at different points in time, and despite how much better they say they are, in practice they are still not coping with life and are having pretty much the same issues they had before the diagnosis.

I am sure people in the extremes of the conditions benefit from intervention. But most people with certain traits? I personally think they'd do much better accepting that everyone struggles with certain parts of being a human, and that modern life makes being a human harder.

90% of the population cannot simply have a "condition" that makes them "so different from everyone else". In fact, it looks like having a developmental condition is now the norm. How much of this is simply that the lives we live in this current, crazy world simply make it hard to be a fully-functioning human and feel a success?

I have no answers, but geting offended and attacking the OP makes it impossible to debate this. I cannot be the only one who has seen these conditions become the norm in almost every family.