School’s handling of neurodiversity

31 replies

Itsmyshadow · 15/08/2024 09:34

I’m interested in others’ experiences of how schools approach neurodiversity to cater for the needs of neurodivergent and neurotypical children.

My friend’s ASD daughter is in DD’s class (year 4). Her daughter is clever and kind. She masks well in public (I would not suspect ASD if I didn’t know) but sometimes struggles a bit in class I think.

She’s friends with two of the groups of more popular girls, but according to her mum these girls are mean to her and frequently exclude her. DD spends her lunch and breaks playing football with the boys and so doesn’t see this, but she does go to afterschool club with these girls and sees them outside of school. They all seem to be lovely girls who are really kind to my younger children (my younger DD loves them).

It makes me wonder why they are mean to my friend’s DD, and I wonder whether how the school is handling her neurodiversity and that of others in her class is a major cause of this.

DD has started to complain that friend’s DD is allowed to have teddies on her desk, and others (who are likely neurodivergent) are allowed fidget toys, and that these children are allowed to go to the school sensory room at will, and DD would really like to go to the sensory room (dark room filled with colourful fairy lights, bean bags and sensory toys) and desperately wants a fidget toy. I have also heard many stories of friend’s DD instigating an argument and it being the neurotypical child told off. As an example friend’s DD said to another friend “your face isn’t very round” about a self portrait she was doing. DD heard and replied “that’s not very kind”, friend’s DD ran out of the room and without the teacher seeking to understand what had happened DD was told off.

The girls that are apparently mean to friend’s DD are all clever, hardworking and well behaved. They probably receive very little attention from the teacher because they just get on with their work, but equally they’re 8 years old and craving of that attention and validation and being made to feel special.

I don’t know what the right answer is, but I can’t help feeling that giving certain “privileges” to neurodivergent children might help them learn and regulate, but might do more harm in other ways. AIBU?

OP posts:

Octavia64 · 15/08/2024 09:44

So in general children with ASD are given the ability to leave g to e classroom when they need to as a reasonable adjustment.

Children with ASD often have problems self regulating. In practice this means that if something sets off this cycle, then they get further and further into a fight or flight reflex.

Now this isn't too problematic if they tend towards the flight, although if they run out if the classroom/school then you do need to send a TA to keep an eye on them. Most schools these days are enclosed so you don't get kids running into the road outside the school like you did when I started in education twenty years ago.

More problematic are the ASD kids who tend towards fight reflex. That's when you get children hitting other children/adults, throwing chairs, etc etc.

I appreciate that it looks unfair to your child.

It is done to reduce violence and management/adult time spent tracking down kids that have run out of the classroom.

Bitt3rMoon · 15/08/2024 09:43

Girls can be really unkind to other girls that don’t fit in.

Nannyogg134 · 15/08/2024 09:41

I understand what you mean, it is a hotly debated issue in education: if I make special allowances for the ND student, will it cause other students to demonstrate poor behaviour or to feel hard done by?
However, in practice, it all comes down to the way the teacher is with the class. Being NT allows you to understand unspoken social behaviours, at 9 children already have enough emotional development to understand that not everyone thinks/feels the same way. If a child is given access to fidget toys or the sensory area, they are old enough to understand that this is not 'special treatment', it is due to a difference between them. The teacher needs to promote this understanding through inclusive language and educating the class about the importance of kindness, equality and compassion.

Timeisnevertimeatall · 15/08/2024 09:39

So to be clear - the strategies, interventions and tools that help children with additional needs should not be used because other children don't get to have them too, so - and I think this is what you said - they get bullied because they get special treatment.
FML. As a SENDCo I do what I need to to ensure my children are not just included, absolutely part of the very fabric of the school. As a parent of a child with license to fuck off to the sensory room whenever the mood takes her, while swinging her bag of fidget toys, I'm very glad your DD is not in school with mine.

Bitt3rMoon · 15/08/2024 09:39

So reasonable adjustments that help a disability are privileges. Wow!

In our school the children are well able to understand that fidget toys are for a reason and the children can rise above misplaced jealousy.

Newsenmum · 15/08/2024 09:36

depends On the school. Don’t just go by ofsted but genuine attitude of teachers and head especially

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