Page 8 | to feel quite shocked that DH has PTSD from teaching?

mumedu · 17/08/2024 02:33

FunnysInLaJardin · 16/08/2024 23:05

the thing that I am so angry about is actually that my lovely caring DH who gave so much to his 'kids' at school has been forced to stop teaching, take a lower paid job, deal with the loss of status and loss of earnings that that necessitates, just because the system in which he worked was untenable.

He recently completed a MH assessment in order to obtain his therapy and he said in the questionnaire that he felt he had let his family down.

That kills me. Really kills me

I am do sorry about what he / you are going through. You are not alone.

Differentstarts · 17/08/2024 00:15

noblegiraffe · 17/08/2024 00:13

It's not about you.

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OK I thought she was calling me that 🙈 thankyou

noblegiraffe · 17/08/2024 00:13

Differentstarts · 16/08/2024 23:43

Are you calling me a twat. Are you serious right now

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It's not about you.

noblegiraffe · 17/08/2024 00:08

Heyho3 · 16/08/2024 23:38

Trust me. You don’t want to hear it I know. I’m not trying to be rude but you really ARE part of the problem. Do you know what a twat is? By the way? Disgusting language.
Shouldn't you be very much in admiration of a strong confident assertive professional woman at the top of her game!!? She speaks her mind because she knows she is right and it’s too important not to say anything!!
You should read a book called:
“You couldn’t make this up!” by
M MacDonald published last year. About teaching in UK schools in the 21st Century.

Good grief.

I don't have to be in admiration of a woman who has wittered on on social media about her behaviour policy being based on the concept that all children are cursed with original sin.

Differentstarts · 16/08/2024 23:53

Heyho3 · 16/08/2024 23:45

I think you may be on the wrong thread.

Me? I'm on a thread about mental illness that is full of teachers that are so stressed out at work due to behaviour of management, children and parents. Iv shared my experience with mh predominantly ptsd and what helped me and iv been called a twat, my spelling corrected and told I'm the problem. I think some of you all need to look at yourselves to figure out who the actual problem is as I've always stuck up for teachers but I think some people's true colours are beginning to shine through.

Heyho3 · 16/08/2024 23:45

I think you may be on the wrong thread.

Differentstarts · 16/08/2024 23:43

Heyho3 · 16/08/2024 23:38

Trust me. You don’t want to hear it I know. I’m not trying to be rude but you really ARE part of the problem. Do you know what a twat is? By the way? Disgusting language.
Shouldn't you be very much in admiration of a strong confident assertive professional woman at the top of her game!!? She speaks her mind because she knows she is right and it’s too important not to say anything!!
You should read a book called:
“You couldn’t make this up!” by
M MacDonald published last year. About teaching in UK schools in the 21st Century.

Are you calling me a twat. Are you serious right now

Heyho3 · 16/08/2024 23:38

Trust me. You don’t want to hear it I know. I’m not trying to be rude but you really ARE part of the problem. Do you know what a twat is? By the way? Disgusting language.
Shouldn't you be very much in admiration of a strong confident assertive professional woman at the top of her game!!? She speaks her mind because she knows she is right and it’s too important not to say anything!!
You should read a book called:
“You couldn’t make this up!” by
M MacDonald published last year. About teaching in UK schools in the 21st Century.

Differentstarts · 16/08/2024 23:37

FunnysInLaJardin · 16/08/2024 23:34

It’s you’re since you genuinely have no idea

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Oh sorry iv offended you because my spelling isn't perfect I didn't go to school much so my spelling isn't the best. I'm not trying to offend anyone I just struggle with spelling and punctuation. Sorry

Differentstarts · 16/08/2024 23:35

FunnysInLaJardin · 16/08/2024 23:34

It’s you’re since you genuinely have no idea

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.???

Original poster

FunnysInLaJardin · 16/08/2024 23:34

Differentstarts · 16/08/2024 23:20

Stop what, I genuinely have no idea what your talking about.

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It’s you’re since you genuinely have no idea

OP posts:

Differentstarts · 16/08/2024 23:20

FunnysInLaJardin · 16/08/2024 23:06

Just stop @Differentstarts . I get you have your issues, but please stop

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Stop what, I genuinely have no idea what your talking about.

Original poster

FunnysInLaJardin · 16/08/2024 23:07

He tried so very hard

OP posts:

Original poster

FunnysInLaJardin · 16/08/2024 23:06

Differentstarts · 16/08/2024 22:36

All I have said is always put your health and your family first above any job I don't understand how me saying that is part of the reason your all have a bad time at work

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Just stop @Differentstarts . I get you have your issues, but please stop

OP posts:

Original poster

FunnysInLaJardin · 16/08/2024 23:05

the thing that I am so angry about is actually that my lovely caring DH who gave so much to his 'kids' at school has been forced to stop teaching, take a lower paid job, deal with the loss of status and loss of earnings that that necessitates, just because the system in which he worked was untenable.

He recently completed a MH assessment in order to obtain his therapy and he said in the questionnaire that he felt he had let his family down.

That kills me. Really kills me

OP posts:

Differentstarts · 16/08/2024 22:36

Heyho3 · 16/08/2024 18:32

I’m not being rude but your entire post is part of the problem and you can’t see it

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All I have said is always put your health and your family first above any job I don't understand how me saying that is part of the reason your all have a bad time at work

PaintedPottery · 16/08/2024 22:34

I hope your husband recovers well. Three years ago I left FE and HE teaching after 20 years and I still feel like I’m recovering.

AlleycatMarie · 16/08/2024 22:28

@FunnysInLaJardin I only taught for a few years and the horrific nightmares I still have from it… Really hope DH is ok.

Changingnameagain · 16/08/2024 22:13

@ridl14 please get a personalised risk assessment done and raise these concerns. Your employer has a legal obligation to carry out a risk assessment that's personal to you as soon as you notify them in writing you're pregnant. The RA should be a working document that is updated as your pregnancy progresses and needs change. If.youre NEU please join NEU Parents Facebook group- lots of supportive teachers there who can help suggest good reasonable adjustments to ask for. Please also look into Shared pardental leave to maximise money whilst on mat leave. NEU Parents run webinars on it to help explain it all. Take care of yourself and bump.

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 16/08/2024 21:37

bakebeans · 16/08/2024 21:29

yep. Society is fucking shit. I’m a nurse and I have ptsd from nursing. Doctors leaving for the same reason. Other areas who deal with the general public will probably be the same
parents not taking responsibility for actions of their child due to ‘adhd’ doesn’t always mean the parent cannot parent.
have you not noticed the growing trend of everyone else/society/government fault for failings to an individual not the parents
I hope your DH gets the help he needs

My Dd has adhd. She’s never rude or insolent or bad mannered.

bakebeans · 16/08/2024 21:29

yep. Society is fucking shit. I’m a nurse and I have ptsd from nursing. Doctors leaving for the same reason. Other areas who deal with the general public will probably be the same
parents not taking responsibility for actions of their child due to ‘adhd’ doesn’t always mean the parent cannot parent.
have you not noticed the growing trend of everyone else/society/government fault for failings to an individual not the parents
I hope your DH gets the help he needs

Readingallthetime · 16/08/2024 21:21

HarrietsweetHarriet · 16/08/2024 21:19

DD left her QTS / PGCE training due to being bullied at the primary school placement. Her uni tutor (Bath Spa) did nothing to help the situation so she just left after six weeks of phoning us sobbing each evening. She would have made a great teacher IMHO.

So sorry for your daughter, that's awful.

HarrietsweetHarriet · 16/08/2024 21:19

DD left her QTS / PGCE training due to being bullied at the primary school placement. Her uni tutor (Bath Spa) did nothing to help the situation so she just left after six weeks of phoning us sobbing each evening. She would have made a great teacher IMHO.

anon666 · 16/08/2024 20:33

FunnysInLaJardin · 14/08/2024 22:47

Its feels pretty awful tbh. He has just today received this diagnosis and has been referred for priority EMDR.

He has taught for 25 years in a secondary school, and got out last year due to clinically diagnosed burn out.

I knew it was bad, but I never realised it was this bad.

How can this be allowed to happen?

I'm very sadly not surprised. Bless him, my poor late dad worked for 27 years in a tough, inner city school. It aged him. It took its toll on our family life. The best thing he ever did was get out before it killed him.

It's just so stressful and relentless.

My dh is a deputy head. He's aged quicker than Tony Blair did in Downing Street.

The government and society in general need to stop taking out their grievances on teachers, most of whom went into it with young, altruistic ideas and ended up burnt out by a system that took advantage of that.

It breaks my heart.

PoochOnWheels · 16/08/2024 20:31

Jumpers4goalposts · 16/08/2024 18:32

I left HE teaching about 5 years ago and it probably took me 2/3 years to reset my mental health.

Actually yeah, the nightmares about having to go back to teaching are only occasional now, but for the first year or two after I left they were very frequent and I had panic attacks, even though I was in a much better environment.