Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to feel quite shocked that DH has PTSD from teaching?

545 replies

FunnysInLaJardin · 14/08/2024 22:47

Its feels pretty awful tbh. He has just today received this diagnosis and has been referred for priority EMDR.

He has taught for 25 years in a secondary school, and got out last year due to clinically diagnosed burn out.

I knew it was bad, but I never realised it was this bad.

How can this be allowed to happen?

OP posts:
Potsnpotz · 17/08/2024 10:26

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

YOYOK · 17/08/2024 10:22

Differentstarts · 17/08/2024 10:16

This is an excellent post but my bigger picture is if you don't make these changes before the mental breakdown happens you will literally lose everything

Show quote history

Sometimes you can’t though. Sometimes you don’t notice mental illness sneaking up on you. You accept that it’s normal for you.

Also a lot of people on here aren’t talking about mental breakdowns where they are totally incapacitated. They are talking about symptoms of various mental illnesses that they are experiencing every day. That is such a hard and exhausting way to live and even if it doesn’t lead to a breakdown, it’s still not how anyone should live. Do you want your children being taught by someone who has been up all night in a panic and having nightmares and has sobbed all the way to work? On a human level, that makes me so sad. It shouldn’t be like that but it is normalised in some professions including teaching.

Differentstarts · 17/08/2024 10:16

YOYOK · 17/08/2024 10:12

I said the same about health but you’ve not considered the bigger picture. We all know health is more important than a job but if you have a mortgage and responsibilities, you cannot just down tools and find any lower paying job. If you have kids settled in schools, you cannot risk uprooting them or losing their home.
The teachers here are saying their mental health has been impacted so the ability to feel confident and apply for jobs and make huge life changing decisions is affected.
If you are a single person or single parent, the burden is even higher. It is only you.

So yes, if a job is severely impacting your mental health, of course you should leave but it’s naive not to realise how many people are trapped and cannot leave.

It also doesn’t resolve the systemic issues with teaching and education.

Show quote history

This is an excellent post but my bigger picture is if you don't make these changes before the mental breakdown happens you will literally lose everything

YOYOK · 17/08/2024 10:14

Differentstarts · 17/08/2024 10:04

The thread is about mental illness

Show quote history

Mental illness in teaching.

I am not a teacher nor am I married to one. I have no skin in this game. Even I can see it’s a thread highlighting the issues in the system.

YOYOK · 17/08/2024 10:12

Differentstarts · 17/08/2024 09:57

Could you tell me how iv offended you please as all iv actually said is your health is more important then any job and I will always stand by that

Show quote history

I said the same about health but you’ve not considered the bigger picture. We all know health is more important than a job but if you have a mortgage and responsibilities, you cannot just down tools and find any lower paying job. If you have kids settled in schools, you cannot risk uprooting them or losing their home.
The teachers here are saying their mental health has been impacted so the ability to feel confident and apply for jobs and make huge life changing decisions is affected.
If you are a single person or single parent, the burden is even higher. It is only you.

So yes, if a job is severely impacting your mental health, of course you should leave but it’s naive not to realise how many people are trapped and cannot leave.

It also doesn’t resolve the systemic issues with teaching and education.

Differentstarts · 17/08/2024 10:04

noblegiraffe · 17/08/2024 10:01

Well done in making the thread about you and not teachers 👏

The thread is about mental illness

Birdahoy · 17/08/2024 10:02

I’m sorry OP. Wishing your husband all the best for a steady recovery. It’s tough. I know many talented teachers who’ve departed for similar reasons. I left teaching when I went on mat leave and was determined not to return. It took me six years to even start missing it. Six years!

Differentstarts · 17/08/2024 10:02

Allmarbleslost · 17/08/2024 10:01

My 14 year old has diagnosed PTSD from her short time in a mainstream secondary so I can absolutely understand.

I'm so sorry to hear this I hope you've taken them out of the school

noblegiraffe · 17/08/2024 10:01

Well done in making the thread about you and not teachers 👏

Differentstarts · 17/08/2024 10:01

MrsHamlet · 17/08/2024 10:00

Also not offended. But your posts have been offensive.

Show quote history

Which part the putting your health first part

Allmarbleslost · 17/08/2024 10:01

My 14 year old has diagnosed PTSD from her short time in a mainstream secondary so I can absolutely understand.

MrsHamlet · 17/08/2024 10:00

Differentstarts · 17/08/2024 09:57

Could you tell me how iv offended you please as all iv actually said is your health is more important then any job and I will always stand by that

Show quote history

Also not offended. But your posts have been offensive.

Differentstarts · 17/08/2024 10:00

Notellinganyone · 17/08/2024 09:57

This makes me really sad and angry. I’ve been teaching since 1994 but have been lucky enough to work in a very supportive and stimulating independent school. It’s tiring and challenging, as all teaching is, but it’s fulfilling and rewarding. Something has to change.

I'm glad you are working in a nice supportive school environment. Maybe that's the answer for some people change schools rather then leave teaching all together

CautionaryTaleGirl · 17/08/2024 09:59

Differentstarts · 17/08/2024 09:57

Could you tell me how iv offended you please as all iv actually said is your health is more important then any job and I will always stand by that

Show quote history

You haven't offended me love. Your opinion means absolutely nothing to me.

But your refusal to read comments and just repeat yourself over and over despite being asked to stop is fucking annoying.

Differentstarts · 17/08/2024 09:57

CautionaryTaleGirl · 17/08/2024 09:56

This.

Show quote history

Could you tell me how iv offended you please as all iv actually said is your health is more important then any job and I will always stand by that

Notellinganyone · 17/08/2024 09:57

This makes me really sad and angry. I’ve been teaching since 1994 but have been lucky enough to work in a very supportive and stimulating independent school. It’s tiring and challenging, as all teaching is, but it’s fulfilling and rewarding. Something has to change.

CautionaryTaleGirl · 17/08/2024 09:57

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

You are either completely delusional or a massive troll.

Differentstarts · 17/08/2024 09:56

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

CautionaryTaleGirl · 17/08/2024 09:56

MrsHamlet · 17/08/2024 09:55

No, we've reported your comments because you're deliberately being offensive.

Show quote history

This.

MrsHamlet · 17/08/2024 09:55

Differentstarts · 17/08/2024 09:50

You've reported my comments because I have a different opinion to you.

Show quote history

No, we've reported your comments because you're deliberately being offensive.

CautionaryTaleGirl · 17/08/2024 09:54

Differentstarts · 17/08/2024 09:53

I haven't name called I haven't corrected peoples spelling I haven't sided with multiple posters to gang up on one person who has a different opinion. I think you will find that's all you lot and I haven't reported one comment as people are allowed to have different opinions and have adult conversations on forums about that

Show quote history

What are you on about?

noblegiraffe · 17/08/2024 09:53

It became obvious when they refused to believe that their child might end up without a teacher that they're not here to listen to teachers.

Differentstarts · 17/08/2024 09:53

CautionaryTaleGirl · 17/08/2024 09:50

No, I've reported your comments because I think you are enjoying upsetting people.

Show quote history

I haven't name called I haven't corrected peoples spelling I haven't sided with multiple posters to gang up on one person who has a different opinion. I think you will find that's all you lot and I haven't reported one comment as people are allowed to have different opinions and have adult conversations on forums about that

PoochOnWheels · 17/08/2024 09:51

Do you think people who end their lives do so rationally? I really tried to explain how it can get to the point where you don't feel able to leave, and so have lots of other posters, and it's honestly insulting that we've opened up about our experiences just to have this simplistic refusal to engage thrown back at us time and again. I won't be responding to you again.

CautionaryTaleGirl · 17/08/2024 09:50

Differentstarts · 17/08/2024 09:50

You've reported my comments because I have a different opinion to you.

Show quote history

No, I've reported your comments because I think you are enjoying upsetting people.