Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to feel quite shocked that DH has PTSD from teaching?

545 replies

FunnysInLaJardin · 14/08/2024 22:47

Its feels pretty awful tbh. He has just today received this diagnosis and has been referred for priority EMDR.

He has taught for 25 years in a secondary school, and got out last year due to clinically diagnosed burn out.

I knew it was bad, but I never realised it was this bad.

How can this be allowed to happen?

OP posts:
cardibach · 15/08/2024 18:24

Differentstarts · 15/08/2024 18:18

So what's your answer stay teaching even if it's detrimental to your health or get out sooner and start over and hopefully be happy.

It creeps up. And you have financial commitments so just leaving isn’t that easy. My solution is to make the system less toxic.

noblegiraffe · 15/08/2024 18:21

I haven't avoided that I said they will have teachers next year as currently their are 641,840 teachers working in the UK right now and their are teachers who do like their job.

But that is avoiding it. Because it is not true that all children will have teachers next year. Not in the slightest.

Don't confuse there being an adult in the room with having a teacher, by the way.

Differentstarts · 15/08/2024 18:18

cardibach · 15/08/2024 18:11

I took some time out. I did supply for a few years. I have now given up.
New job? Are you serious? The effects of teaching on mental health don’t go away if you do a different job. Plus - have you any idea how impossible it is for someone over 55 to get an interview, never mind a job?
I’ve had to take my pension early, losing loads via actuarial reduction, and I’m leaning on a small inheritance until my state pension comes in.
I was an excellent teacher.
You clearly have no idea.

Edited

So what's your answer stay teaching even if it's detrimental to your health or get out sooner and start over and hopefully be happy.

Differentstarts · 15/08/2024 18:16

noblegiraffe · 15/08/2024 18:09

I notice, @Differentstarts , you are avoiding the issue of your children potentially not having a teacher next year.

The solution isn't for teachers to change jobs, it's for the job to change.

I haven't avoided that I said they will have teachers next year as currently their are 641,840 teachers working in the UK right now and their are teachers who do like their job. The point I'm trying to get across is if it is making a person so unwell to the point they are diagnosed with ptsd then they need to leave. Yes in an ideal world it would be better if it was a nicer environment to work in but at this present time it isn't so a person staying in a job that is detrimental to their health and to their own family makes no sense when they have the choice to leave.

cardibach · 15/08/2024 18:11

Differentstarts · 15/08/2024 18:00

I'm glad you got out when you did it was obviously the right time for you and I hope your happier in your new job

I took some time out. I did supply for a few years. I have now given up.
New job? Are you serious? The effects of teaching on mental health don’t go away if you do a different job. Plus - have you any idea how impossible it is for someone over 55 to get an interview, never mind a job?
I’ve had to take my pension early, losing loads via actuarial reduction, and I’m leaning on a small inheritance until my state pension comes in.
I was an excellent teacher.
You clearly have no idea.

noblegiraffe · 15/08/2024 18:09

I notice, @Differentstarts , you are avoiding the issue of your children potentially not having a teacher next year.

The solution isn't for teachers to change jobs, it's for the job to change.

Differentstarts · 15/08/2024 18:08

Idloveabiscuit · 15/08/2024 18:04

I’m not surprised either. Can’t understand anyone who wants to be a teacher.

I left ten years ago with burnout after running a secondary school computer system.

the head teacher was a complete cow (hope she rots in hell).

hope your husband gets better OP.

And are you happy now, are you glad you left, can you still pay your mortgage because certain people on here seem to think leaving to improve your health isn't a possibility

TeamPolin · 15/08/2024 18:06

Not at all surprised. I started having panic attacks and developed terrible insomnia when I was a teacher.

Just to let your DH know, there is life, and plenty of worthwhile career opportunities, after teaching. I now work for a professional membership body, managing their learning and development programmes. Use all my best teacher skills in a much calmer environment.

Sideorderofchips · 15/08/2024 18:05

We are in a staffing crisis as well especially in some core subjects

I'm a HLTA and I taught science for a year for ks3 due to lack to staff due to medical. We couldn't get any supply teachers in

Differentstarts · 15/08/2024 18:05

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 15/08/2024 18:01

They have mortgages though and families. So they can’t leave. Or maybe they do it to piss you off?

I actually hope they do.

You do realise your posts make no sense why would someone I don't know ruining their life piss me off? I have a mortgage I'm not a teacher other jobs pay money to. Jobs with less stress, jobs where you don't take work home, jobs that don't cause ptsd and mental breakdowns.

Idloveabiscuit · 15/08/2024 18:04

I’m not surprised either. Can’t understand anyone who wants to be a teacher.

I left ten years ago with burnout after running a secondary school computer system.

the head teacher was a complete cow (hope she rots in hell).

hope your husband gets better OP.

sanityisamyth · 15/08/2024 18:02

Doesn't surprise me. I did 13 years and it broke me. I had cPTSD going in to teaching but it certainly did me no favours. I've now got to rethink my next career move and a lot of people have suggested going back to teaching. No fucking way, and I'm a very shortage subject.

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 15/08/2024 18:01

Differentstarts · 15/08/2024 17:31

Break what to me? Nothing wrong with working in mcdonalds. Don't ever think your above a job or better then others. They should be leaving if it's causing them to have a mental breakdown. At the end of the day it's a job theirs millions of other ones. People need to put themselves and their families first.

They have mortgages though and families. So they can’t leave. Or maybe they do it to piss you off?

I actually hope they do.

MrsHamlet · 15/08/2024 18:00

noblegiraffe · 15/08/2024 15:04

I don't know a single teacher who is remotely worried about an 'influx of kids from private schools.' It just isn't even on the radar.

Several years ago, the local private school suddenly closed. We had parents offering all sorts to get their kids in - which was entirely unnecessary, even in the full years. We just let them in.

So no, we're not even remotely concerned.

Differentstarts · 15/08/2024 18:00

cardibach · 15/08/2024 17:59

I loved my job. I did it for 33 years. Then I couldn’t anymore because I properly burnt out. For at least 5 years before that I had symptoms of mental health issues looking back.

I'm glad you got out when you did it was obviously the right time for you and I hope your happier in your new job

cardibach · 15/08/2024 17:59

Differentstarts · 15/08/2024 17:57

I think your mistaking poor mental health and mental illness. Poor mental health everybody has at different points of their life mental illness and a mental health crisis are very different. You may think people are working in the middle of a mental breakdown but they really aren't however if you feel that may happen to you walk away. A person kills themselves every 40 seconds in the UK. Mh isn't a game you really want to do that to your kids. However if it's not that bad and your just a bit stressed then you've got to decide whether it's something you can manage or not. I know several teachers some are fine and thriving and love their jobs others don't it's not for everyone. I don't understand on a post about ptsd where I'm literally saying protect yourself it's not worth it think of your children. That your saying my attitude is why your life is hard. That's really bizarre

I loved my job. I did it for 33 years. Then I couldn’t anymore because I properly burnt out. For at least 5 years before that I had symptoms of mental health issues looking back.

Differentstarts · 15/08/2024 17:57

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 15/08/2024 17:45

There’s no teachers now. Loads of them have mental health issues caused by the workplace. Theyre mostly desperate to get out.

But you want your children to be taught by healthy teachers. Dont we all? But they aren’t. There’s too much stress in the system. Most teachers are in the middle of or close to a nervous breakdown.

Attitudes like yours add to it.

I think your mistaking poor mental health and mental illness. Poor mental health everybody has at different points of their life mental illness and a mental health crisis are very different. You may think people are working in the middle of a mental breakdown but they really aren't however if you feel that may happen to you walk away. A person kills themselves every 40 seconds in the UK. Mh isn't a game you really want to do that to your kids. However if it's not that bad and your just a bit stressed then you've got to decide whether it's something you can manage or not. I know several teachers some are fine and thriving and love their jobs others don't it's not for everyone. I don't understand on a post about ptsd where I'm literally saying protect yourself it's not worth it think of your children. That your saying my attitude is why your life is hard. That's really bizarre

Craftysue · 15/08/2024 17:56

I'm not surprised - my daughter only taught for a couple of years and developed severe stress and anxiety. She's still in education but not classroom teaching and is so much better.
Wishing you and your husband all the best

cardibach · 15/08/2024 17:56

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 15/08/2024 17:55

I used to teach a practical subject.

GCSE classes went from 20 to 34. I kind of did notice. 20 was the recommended size in terms of H&S

Well yes. 14 extra will do that. And no school should make you do that in practical subjects. They don’t have to. They don’t have to accept pupils over roll. Or was it a shortage of staff?

Hatty65 · 15/08/2024 17:55

I don't think a single teacher will be shocked or surprised by this.

If you aren't at the chalk face you have no idea of the stress levels and workload involved.

I'm getting out after 30 years. Come the 1st of September I am free.

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 15/08/2024 17:55

cardibach · 15/08/2024 17:51

I’ve just stopped being one if that counts. I assume classes will be 30. 32 or 33 sometimes happens. 27 sometimes happens. It’s not something any teacher loses sleep over. Class sizes change all the time as pupils join or leave roll.

Edit: I’m not surprised some are leaving. Teachers are quitting all over. It’s not about potential private school pupils joining the school.

Edited

I used to teach a practical subject.

GCSE classes went from 20 to 34. I kind of did notice. 20 was the recommended size in terms of H&S

FunnysInLaJardin · 15/08/2024 17:53

Differentstarts · 15/08/2024 17:37

I have 2 school age children, but they will have teachers you know they will I know they will but if I'm honest I wouldn't want them being taught by someone who is in the middle of a serious mental breakdown. I don't know why people are coming for me when I'm saying put your health about your job as someone who has been In a mh crisis multiple times it's not worth it trust me. But if you don't want to listen to me stay teaching, keep moaning and be miserable. Your an adult nobody is holding a gun to your head your making the choice

Hate to break it to you but there’s a good chance they are already being taught by someone mid breakdown

OP posts:
cardibach · 15/08/2024 17:51

ApplesOrangesBananas · 15/08/2024 17:47

My friends that are teachers are actually losing sleep over it. Unless you are currently a teacher you cannot speak for how they feel. A class size going from 27 to 30 is still 3 additional pupils with needs that should be met, 3 extra homework’s to mark etc.. Teachers are not supported enough. My friends are burnt out, struggling to quit and many are seriously considering resigning. In fact 2 have quit already.

I’ve just stopped being one if that counts. I assume classes will be 30. 32 or 33 sometimes happens. 27 sometimes happens. It’s not something any teacher loses sleep over. Class sizes change all the time as pupils join or leave roll.

Edit: I’m not surprised some are leaving. Teachers are quitting all over. It’s not about potential private school pupils joining the school.

Sideorderofchips · 15/08/2024 17:49

Not surprised in the slightest

I think unless you have worked in education you have no idea the amount of abuse staff deal with daily on top of the pressures.

If you are abusive to hospital staff or airline staff you get in trouble

If kids are abusive to teachers and tas then nothing happens and you're told its not the kids fault etc

HradJenta · 15/08/2024 17:48

noblegiraffe · 15/08/2024 14:02

We get slated if we leave (remember the thread slating the teacher who dared to leave when she had an exam class?)

We get slated if we stay (how could you not sell your house and all your possessions so you can get by working in McDonalds?)

We get slated when we try to tell people about what's going on in schools and to teachers (teachers are ALWAYS moaning, think they have the HARDEST job in the world)

We get slated when people don't know what is going on in schools (why haven't teachers spoken up about this??)

We get slated when we go on strike (GREEDY)

We get slated when we don't go on strike (teachers just let the government get away with what they are doing to schools, why aren't they doing more/speaking up/taking action).

We are constantly moaned at because schools are too strict, enforce rules and exclude kids. Then when people watch those same kids who kick off at school rioting in the streets they look to schools to solve the problem.

With what?? Schools have NOTHING left in the tank. We can't even perform our supposedly primary purpose of teaching kids the basics because we don't have the teachers left to do it. And whatever we do, it will be wrong and ripped to shreds, both in the media on here.

Brilliant post.

Swipe left for the next trending thread