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AIBU?

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Original poster

To wonder if it’s age or my back?

63 replies

Halfwaytothesky · 14/08/2024 15:27

I’m 44.

Several years ago I slipped a disc in my lower back , and it’s never really healed. General advice I had at the time was that there wasn’t much that could be done.

Two pregnancies and it’s exacerbated my problems. I’ve realised recently how bad it is.

I can’t run. I don’t mean as in going for a run - I can’t run at all. Even walking is difficult, if I slip slightly or walk on an uneven surface it jars my back horribly. If I cough or sneeze I have to hold onto something. I feel old and tired.

I don’t know how normal it is. I know it can’t be completely normal. I’m getting worried about how it’s going to effect my life going forwards, and if there is anything at all I can do.

OP posts:
Emmanuelll · 14/08/2024 15:50

And yes, in my case I’m also 44 and have had my back problems for about 9 years. I have really good core strength and I used to be a gym bunny.

I also have hypermobility though so that affects it too.

Carebearsonmybed · 14/08/2024 15:49

I think posters are being a bit mean.

I have similar issues.

Medics/physios useless.

I take supermarket painkillers and just dont do things I can't do.

Emmanuelll · 14/08/2024 15:48

I’ve got the exact same problem. You have my sympathy OP. I relate to all that you say.

If I see the doctor, they tell me that I just need to do exercises and it will go away. It drives me mad 🤬

Catza · 14/08/2024 15:47

Halfwaytothesky · 14/08/2024 15:44

It really doesn’t make any difference (physio etc.)

I remember when it first happened a GP said that there was nothing they could do. Of course I didn’t expect it still to be a problem nearly ten years later.

I think the problem is I’ve become sort of used to it over time and it’s been a sort of gradual decline. Yesterday I went for an evening walk round a lake and was struggling because the ground was uneven. I realised I was hobbling and that’s not good!

Ok, so it sound as though you haven't been seen by anyone in 10 years. What they told you at a time is a bit irrelevant and "nothing we can do" can mean many things ranging from "there is no medical means to fix what you have" to "we have now exhausted every service that could help you to manage your ongoing pain".
So, I gather, you haven't been seen by a pain clinic?

theeyeofdoe · 14/08/2024 15:46

You need to strengthen your core first. Start with very gentle Pilates and work your way up.

they can also do a steroid injection.

Original poster
Halfwaytothesky · 14/08/2024 15:45

And yes re sitting down. And I don’t much. But I do have to sit down sometimes and with small children I do a lot of bending stretching picking up and so on.

OP posts:
Original poster
Halfwaytothesky · 14/08/2024 15:44

It really doesn’t make any difference (physio etc.)

I remember when it first happened a GP said that there was nothing they could do. Of course I didn’t expect it still to be a problem nearly ten years later.

I think the problem is I’ve become sort of used to it over time and it’s been a sort of gradual decline. Yesterday I went for an evening walk round a lake and was struggling because the ground was uneven. I realised I was hobbling and that’s not good!

OP posts:
Hyperion100 · 14/08/2024 15:42

You need to see a really good physio/osteo who can help you through the worst of this.

My back is also pretty knackered at 43 and it can grind me down sometimes but doing nothing makes it a lot worse.

I've identified specific stretches and strengthening exercises that help me.

Sitting down is the worst thing I can do. The more I move the better my back feels.

Speak to a couple of physios and get some next steps.

You situation can improve massively with the right plan.

Catza · 14/08/2024 15:41

Halfwaytothesky · 14/08/2024 15:37

@Catza I am partly just wondering out loud. I think I am facing a future where I can’t really live ‘normally’ but also don’t really fit the ‘disabled’ box. It’s hard. I’m worried and sharing some of those worries here. It also helps of course to hear from others who have had back issues and pain. But I realise that’s possibly a small minority.

What makes you say you don't fit the disabled box? You sound like you have issues with mobility and chronic pain. You have a condition which lasted for over 12 months and which significantly impacts on your function. This here is a definition of disability. Not that it would make your life much easier, to be honest.
Have you explored all the other options? Have you been assessed by the pain clinic?

Original poster
Halfwaytothesky · 14/08/2024 15:37

@Catza I am partly just wondering out loud. I think I am facing a future where I can’t really live ‘normally’ but also don’t really fit the ‘disabled’ box. It’s hard. I’m worried and sharing some of those worries here. It also helps of course to hear from others who have had back issues and pain. But I realise that’s possibly a small minority.

OP posts:
Catza · 14/08/2024 15:34

Halfwaytothesky · 14/08/2024 15:30

They don’t tend to be very helpful or concerned! I remember being quite surprised the absolute agony I was in when I first hurt myself and no real concern was shown. I think unfortunately for back pain there just isn’t much they can do.

So what can we do for you here? We can't diagnose or treat you, we cannot prescribe you medication.
Clearly, it is not normal as then everyone over 40 would be struggling to move around, which isn't the case. Beyond telling you that, what else can we do?
The medical professional is not there to show concern. They are there to diagnose and treat/manage. So don't take their perceived lack of concern personally.
They may not be able to fix your back but you do have access to pain clinic, pain management service, physio and pain medication. So, please go and see your GP

Original poster
Halfwaytothesky · 14/08/2024 15:30

They don’t tend to be very helpful or concerned! I remember being quite surprised the absolute agony I was in when I first hurt myself and no real concern was shown. I think unfortunately for back pain there just isn’t much they can do.

OP posts:
MiddleAgedDread · 14/08/2024 15:28

You need to seek medical advice!