To think he should pay this?

So threaten him with two things that OP can't carry out?

You can't force someone to be a parent.

Are you making use of tax free childcare and any funded hours you can?
as others have already said you can ask but I wouldn’t say it’s for a cleaner either-just day to day costs for your daughter. You know him so can gauge how to approach him and if he will be receptive to it. If he says no you can report any increase in his income to CMS but they won’t do a new calculation before your annual review if it hasn’t changed by at least 25% (up or down).

It’s not for the cleaner though. I know that’s the immediate change you would make with more money but it’s not where the money would go.

At the moment you are paying half each on the nursery, and then you are covering the entirety of your Dd’s living costs. That’s not right.

In a decent world, he should be legally obliged to pay half the nursery and then maintenance on top. That’s what I’d be asking for.

You could ask if he'd pay £1k a month on the basis it's just until DD does not go to nursery anymore. Just tell him you can't afford the nursery and everything else for your DD. Explain once she starts school he can go back to paying less. He might agree if you have a reasonable parenting relationship.

So he pays for half the childcare and then 75 a month for food clothes etc?

also when that 1600 goes down when she starts school you will have a much larger contribution to her care. I’d ask for more if you want more, but I’m not sure I’d ask for it for a cleaner.

Remember it's hard for you now but once she's finished nursery £850 will way more than cover all her costs

Hi,
how old is your child? Because you maybe entitled to 85% back on childcare fees?
I was working full time but had to drop my hours. I claim UC and paid the first month upfront for childcare. Once I sent the proof to UC they gave me 85% back every month. £150 a month for a cleaner is a lot. I had to hire a cleaner before and it was only for 2 hours a week. So £20 a week. I stopped that as I then found a way to manage it. I started to book a day off work once a month and done a deep clean on that day.
I literally booked a day off just to clean lol.
at the moment your child is getting what they’re entitled through CMS. Personally I wouldn’t ask for more. Where is your wage going? As a single parent I do completely understand. Also when your child turns 3 they get so many hours free a week.
are you able to drop your hours in work? So you can drop some childcare? My job luckily allowed me to drop my hours from full time to part time and it was a massive help. Have you checked to see if you’re entitled to UC?

No, I wouldn't expect him to pay for a cleaner. I was a completely lone parent from DS being 10 months old and I managed to do my own cleaning.

Can you not pay for a cleaner out of your own salary?

CM is not supposed to cover school fees. It’s for their home, clothes, food. You can ask for more towards her nursery costs. Also have you applied for the funded hours for working parents? If not that will reduce your costs.
My ex is a high earner too, I ask for extra for nursery, extra activities & the equipment for those activities. He also barely sees them! I know he is still far better off than we are so I don’t feel bad asking, and he always pays it.

Tell him you are overwhelmed and can't cope with the entire load.
Tell him he either pays up or he has DD every other weekend for the entire weekend so you can catch up.
I suspect he'll choose yo pay.

The court won't make him have the child more.

No he should not have to pay for a cleaner, he needs to pay whatever is actually appropriate though

If he earns more as you are expecting the CMS amount will increase. Maybe allocating the amount you get to do specific things is a bit of a block here, you don't have to justify what you spend it on. Doing it on your own is hard, consider what you want, will cutting work hours until school starts help- your CMS will remain the same when nursery costs are gone. I apologise if I am wrong but it seems you just want to breath and the 6 hours of parental care is more annoying than the money so just say it is not convenient as it just holds your weekends hostage - none is better than token parenting for your child but saying no to that opens the door to you having a bit more control.

Can you not claim universal credit childcare costs, or Tax Free Childcare?
I think you have to be earning over £90,000 not to be eligible for 85% of childcare costs paid back by universal credit, even if you are not entitled to the universal credit personal element ( correct me if I’m wrong )
you can also claim 20% off of your childcare costs if you are not entitled to universal credit, by going through Tax Free Childcare on.gov.uk
if you are getting back 85% of your childcare cost, then it’s unreasonable to ask for more money, when she is in school ( providing it’s a state school ) and you don’t need the nursery fees £825 will be ample
my ex currently pays me £28 a month 😂 I am struggling for childcare after school because I cannot afford After School Club . CMS are slow and useless

youd be better taking him to court for set visitation

Perhaps do it in a roundabout way and say you're struggling to keep on top of things and it would be a great help to have him over one evening a week or am extra morning on the weekends so you can catch up. If he isn't willing then tell him you'll be hiring a cleaner instead and start making a point of sending dd to him at the weekends in her shabbiest clothes

A cleaner is a great idea. Anything which frees up your time to spend with your child and looking after yourself.

Realistically he should be paying half the nursery fees plus a decent chunk towards the costs of caring for your child. The costs of children vary depending on age (nursery is a big cost prior to school, after-school/holiday care is significant but possibly less, teenagers have high costs but tend to be more independent).

I think it's worth setting out the costs you want him to contribute to (ie £x is half of the nursery fees plu £y covers food, clothes etc) and see what he says. You would be able to pay for a cleaner out of the money you have once he's paying towards nursery.

It's not dishonesty, just making the case for his contribution in a way which makes sense.

No it wouldn't be going to the cleaner. It would be going to nursery fees and other expenses. And that would enable you to afford a cleaner.

This.

If there is money available, you should be able to buy in help so that your time is not stretched so thinly. It is in your child's best interests not to have an exhausted mother doing the bulk of the caring. After all, ex is a hands on single parent for 6 hours per week and doesn't do the labour intensive stuff like getting out of the house on time in the mornings and bedtimes.

How much other mothers have to manage on is neither here nor there. Your child is entitled to a standard of living that is what it would have been without the divorce.

A quick CMS calculator suggests that he earns about £96,000 a year to have to pay £825.

If you think he earns more than that, check the calculation again.

On the net salary from £96k he should definitely be able to pay more but unfortunately men like that will only pay the absolute bare minimum.

Half the nursery fees.

i agree you say you can’t afford nursery fees on top of all the other costs and ask him to pay something more towards her costs, that after half the nursery fees you have £75 a month from him and his it costs more than that to bring up a child.

Jeez, I get 400 a month off my ex for two kids! And nursery fees alone were 420 for youngest (just finished).
How old is your child? There's many childcare schemes now, 15 free hours 30 free hours, taxi free etc. depending on your wage UC help.

He is unlikely to pay for a cleaner so don’t tell him that’s what it’s for. Have you completed a universal credit claim to see what you are entitled to

As someone else has said - have you looked at every opportunity to reduce the fees? 15 hours, 30 hours? UC paying towards childcare, tax free childcare?

If you don't have tax free childcare because of UC, can you suggest your ex does it?

I would ask for the extra towards childcare. Then you pay for the cleaner.