To think he should pay this?

Legally, he probaly isn't required to pay more. But I would absolutely ask him to contribute more, specifically to cover the cost of childcare. He is getting a pretty sweet deal - it's costing you over £1600 in childcare ALONE, and that excludes all the other bills such as food, clothing, housing, activities etc etc etc and he's paying just £800. Of course, he may well say no, but you can and should ask.

He’s not paying anywhere near enough in my opinion, if he really is a high income earner. He should cover all the nursery costs in addition to half of your household costs for groceries, utilities and all other ancillary costs associated with being a single working mother, including a cleaner. If he’s a high earner then his child should have the benefit of his wealth and if he doesn’t want to take on 50/50 childcare responsibilities then the financial split should not be 50/50.

Edit- he should pay half the rent/mortgage too

She can't force him to changed it.

And she can ask for a cleaner. Whether he agrees is a different matter.

its very inter to read on here. Typically in my country the courts have a formula, and everything is ‘accounted for’.

no I don’t think you’re getting enough. But no you can’t ask for a cleaner. You should be getting some time compensation. And the ex should be paying for full daycare.

6 hours is not an appropriate or acceptable arrangement. Look into at least getting that changed.

How can this even be legal in a developing country? I am speechless. How can a father not be forced to pay his share of expenses, according to income and do his share of parenting? Why is the UK so behind all other countries? Why women here accept it as it is fair, even in the comments I read, many think it is an acceptable situation and a woman who does 95% of the child care also needs to pay the bigger chunck of the kids expenses?

I would say you need extra for clothes, milk, savings, shoes, her holiday costs, her friends birthday presents, her parties, etc. don't say it's for you. Then spend what you save on you/the cleaner.
Remember the nursery fees won't be expensive forever.

Just ask. Worse that can happen is he says no.

Because he doesn't want to parent. She can't force him to.

if he's not willing to parent atleast 2 days a week then he should be paying the full nursery costs. totally unfair, why haven't you told him you need him to step up in terms of childcare?

His

I had an almost identical situation to yours where my ex was paying me a similar figure but after I'd paid nursery fees, there wasn't enough to actually buy stuff our daughter needs. I'm disabled. And he had promised to cover the nursery fees but decided to go back on it.

Sorry, this probably isn't helpful but I think a lot of men are like this. If I explained to my ex the above, he'd say I was lucky to get given so much money and I had a cheek to ask for any more.

Is the only six hours access at his request or yours?

When I was in this situation I got my ex to pay half the nursery fees (he only saw DC for 4 weekend days per month) plus an amount for the DC living expenses.

In your case I'd be asking for something like:

£750 (50% nursery) + £400 (DC living expenses) = £1,150.

When DC finishes nursery, I'd revert to the £825 per month.

You could get a cleaner without telling him, as he really doesn't need to know what you spend the money on (other than the 50% nursery as technically CMS doesn't say he has to pay).

Exactly @Whoknowshere It should be 50/50 financial and practical responsibility from the minute the child is born. God knows why we accept that women are the ones left holding the babies and running themselves into the ground whilst the dads pay a minimum and benefit from the mums’ unpaid labour.

He's paying very little over half of the nursery fees and children cost more than the nursery fees. Unless you earn the same, why would you split the nursery 50/50 in the first place?

have You applied for the free hours? That would reduce the nursery bill

Yeah this is the way to do it

No. You can't ask him to pay to clean your house!

What you could do is explain you're struggling to afford nursery and ask if he can help out there. Then use the money you save to fund a cleaner.

Ummmmm no? Why would you expect you ex - who already pay cms for his child - pay to have your house cleaned?

The law in this country is terrible and put the main parent the kids stay with, usually the mother and usually the less earner, st great disadvantage. I am going through a divorce and is shocking.
in Switzerland parents are forced to spend time with their kids. The judge sets days both parents have to spend time. My friend’s husband was travelling a lot and the judge established he would spend Monday and Fridays with the kids (so he had to cut on travel these days and tell his employer as it was a court order) every other weekend and at least 2 weeks of holidays at year.
in other European countries a judge would look at the expenses toward the kid, fees, food, clothing, part of rent, toys, activities and parents would share proportionally depending on their income. So let’s say he earns £4K a month, she earns £2k a month, kids expenses are £2k month (nursery fees plus clothes, food and their share of rent and bills as they use a room, bath etc), he would pay £1.3k and she then gas to top of with £700.
I diny really understand how comes in the UK mums are left with all childcare and pay also the majority of kids expenses?! Has no one complained? Are there no charities or groups or women lawyers or in government who have denounced this? In the end kids suffer the most as they have less disposable income than they would and less time with their main carer as they have to work all the time to provide alone. It is very sad.
to OP you are asking for a better quality of life of your kid, frame as they advised but do not give up, anything that allows you to be less tired and spend more time with them it’s important. Once grown up they would thank you.

You also can’t ask a parent who is paying maintenance to pay for a cleaner.

Which law is this?

she had set visitation

Again, you can't force someone to parent their child.

@Nosygirl01

A friend of mind gets CM per month plus he has to pay half the childcare fees.

as others have said if you don’t already have a look at the Government 20% towards childcare (maximum of £500 per quarter), but need to earn less than £100k per year. Assuming you’re in the UK.

can you ask him if he’s willing to take your DD one full weekend a month if he can’t do every other week or more often. Is this likely to change as child gets older.

He can obviously afford what he’s paying just now, so no harm in asking for more to make your life easier, just don’t tell him it’s for a cleaner. You’re not lying to him by not telling him it’s for a cleaner, when you add up childcare, food, clothes, essentials etc I bet it adds up to more than double what he’s currently paying so he should be paying more (irrespective of what he’s currently paying).

You also can’t ask a parent who is paying maintenance to pay for a cleaner. If she had set visitation maybe she could use nursery less or have some time for herself and get things done. Only a suggestion

No , don’t say it’s for a cleaner . He sounds like he does the bare minimum so therefore would be likely to say that he shouldn’t be paying for your home to be cleaned - which is true .

However, in my opinion , he isn’t paying enough . Surely ( I’m no expert ) but CMS should be for her care ( food , bills for the home she lives in as she lives solely with you ) then childcare should be on top of that - because he gets to work full time too , so he should be paying half towards childcare and then money towards her care .

£750 is half of the childcare . So he’s giving you £75 per month . That’s not enough. I would word it as he needs to contribute more towards the childcare . £50 per week ( on his wage ) is not too much to ask so you say he’s paying that ( £200 per month ) meaning you are paying the majority of childcare and it needs to be equal

She will pay it from her own salary by using the amount she currently puts towards nursery fees.