Rage at friends friendship!

It hurts to feel excluded. Even if people have a perfect right to do so. Its ok that both of these things are true at the same time.

OP I can see why people are having difficulty with understanding how hurtful this is. If it hurts it hurts, - it really doesn't matter what other people think

I think that people are having difficulty with this because - in the real world, the adult world of bigger problems - it is all so trivial. ..and you are wasting your fleeing and precious time on this planet, obsessing on (what people you barely know), are doing.

But this doesn't mean you aren't allowed to be pissed by this but you have let it turn you bitter I am afraid. I know you will say you aren't bitter, but my friend, sadly you are.

Decades old friendships that are not even really friends still - and this seems to leave you feeling excluded - there is nothing you can do but to let it go. Honestly they arent even giving you a second thought - if i was one of them and saw this, it would scare me that you had made this such a big thing

it really is not that deep, and that what people are saying

Some people would kill for these problems. And this is going to leave your AIBU open to ridicule I am afraid

If this situation is this longstanding (@Billyandharry is very unclear on the exact timeline -- it's not clear to me at least, when she introduced her friends of 40 years and 25 years standing, respectively, and whether they hit it off immediately, or much later on, after a lot of seeing one another as a trio), I think it's something to be discussed in therapy, rather than with a friend. I mean, it sounds as if it's more than simply an understandable hurt at two friends you introduced becoming very close and your friendship with both suffering. It also isn't clear to me whether @Billyandharry stopped making an effort to see them as an angry/hurt response to them befriending one another.

This entirely.
Come on people. Can we just not let @Billyandharry be upset and have a vent without piling on. I can see why they’re feeling upset about it. Maybe just vocalising it, op, would help you. But perhaps not on here. Anyone in RL that would understand?

@Billyandharry I understand why it hurts. Some people say it wouldn't bother them. But they could try saying it in a nicer way and having more empathy! Your feelings are completely valid.

If they made you feel like the poor relation, they are shit friends.

My bestie owns a house worth six times the value of mine (no mortgage) and other friends are much wealthier than me. We are all still good friends and arrange to meet up and go on holiday together regularly.

I think you are grieving the loss of people who aren’t actually worth it.

How do you mean exactly, the 'poor relation'?

I am, literally, the poor relation in some of my friendships, where I'm by far the poorest person, but it's never made a difference to the real friendships. I've just come back from holiday with some very old friends whose household income is probably three times or more mine and DH's, and who are from old money stock (we stayed at a beautiful old family house belonging to a relative of one of them for part of the time) -- now they've gone on to a much more luxurious destination for their 'real' holiday, and we've come home. But disparity in income has never got in the way of us continuing to be friends. When we first knew one another, we were all students living on fresh air and small change.That bond hasn't weakened.

I can understand why you'd be hurt by them but you can't control how others behave. Either delete your social media or restrict/delete them.
Only other option I can think of is to have a conversation with them about how it's affecting you.

Op what would you like? If it is just people to sympathise, say so.

otherwide people are trying to help.

it doesn’t sound like you have any relationship with these women any more, it drifted, as friendships do. For some reason I think you’re embarrassed to admit that straight out, you’ve not been friends for years and have not been in contact socially for a very long time.

so this comes back to is this highlighting something you’re unhappy about in your own life, lack of money, no friends etc? And you see them, having fun, spare cash, holidays. And it makes you feel bad about your own circumstances?

if that’s the case the focus on trying to resolve this. Do you work? Why do you have a lack of money. Can you improve that? Do you have friends, if not, why not, can you make some, what needs to change to make you happy and happy for others?

OP, I don't think you answered a pp's question about how much effort you've put into maintaining friendships with these two people over the past 20 years? Because if you haven't made a point of keeping in touch with either of them, and they've made efforts to see one another, phone one another etc, surely you can see how this situation has come about? When was the last time you contacted either of them?

One thing I've learnt on here is that people have vastly different ideas of what being friends means. I was on a thread a while back full of people thinking that you can consider a person that you've had no contact with in 5 years.

Ask yourself what friendship means to you.

HNRWT

Has anyone suggested Therapy?! But first, I would suggest you unfollow ALL mutual friends. This is not healthy for you.

On the other hand, I was subjected to past ‘friends’ wanting to destroy my life without any basis simply because I out earned them all and by a mile. Luckily, I had long previously ended the last friendships as i could just see it was no longer genuine or mutual so I got them all out of their misery by moving on without even a goodbye! Best decision I ever did!

I can be quite sensitive at times, but I don't think this would bother me, after 20 years

I wonder if there are other issues going on for you OP? Sometimes, we get upset about issue A, but really it's about issue B

Awww what a lovely post, you must feel better after that...

Feel better for kicking OP when she's down?

Been going on for 20 YEARS and you're still chucking a wobbly about it? They can be ''bezzy's if they want, your attitude and tantrums about it are very childish! Get over it! Find new friends! You're supposed to be an adult!

block them

I can see why it's hurtful if you introduced them.
I remember this happening once with one of my mum's mates, she introduced two of her besties, from different countries/backgrounds. Then gradually they basically paired up and my mum did feel a bit hurt and excluded.
It's best if you just don't look at their social media. Keep in touch to say happy birthday, at Xmas etc if you like. But they're not really your close friends now.
I hope you can focus on current friendships, or making new ones if that's what you'd like. You don't need those two. It sounds like at this stage you've little in common now anyway.