Told to fuck off at bed time as partner watching TV

Did you see your partner and daughter heading for the bedroom and ask what they were doing?
You should have told your daughter to go to bed and just turned the TV off. Your partner can go and watch it in the other room.
Or given you have your own place maybe just leave the lazy arse and move back there.
YANBU to expect him to turn the TV off when you want to sleep or for going home so you could sleep.
You do need a serious conversation with him though about the TV being off in the bedroom after saying 10 o clock. His response will tell you wether you can stay together or not.

So what are you planning to do about this unacceptable and aggressive behaviour from your partner?

How old is your kid?

It’s utterly unreasonable to keep a person from going to sleep.

If he wants to watch tv late he needs to do it on a tv in the lounge not the bedroom.

How old is your daughter? Was she awake or asleep in the bed?

@@pictoosh but its true through

Its the time old tale of posters here who post "why is my DH/DP useless? He was useless before we got together, he's been useless before we had DC, and now we have DC he's useless"

What time of day/night was this?

WTF! He was watching TV in the OPs bed and refused to stop when she wanted to go to sleep! Of course he is being unreasonable!

Jesus 🙄

You are letting him walk all over you and teaching your daughter that it's ok to be spoken to like that!

I take it your partner is female, not that it makes a difference. Either way, yanbu.

This would be relationship ending for me, not because of the TV but because his actions are literally telling you he doesn't care about you. It doesn't matter that you are massively put out, uncomfortable and physically having to move to a different property in order to get rest! It's also giving your Daughter some awful life lessons.

We have a TV in the bedroom and I sometimes watch it but if my Husband says it's keeping him awake, or even if I can see it's disturbing him, it instantly goes off because he needs rest and it is a bedroom primarily for sleeping!

The moment you don't care about your partner, the relationship is over and he is very much telling you he just doesn't care, his needs are not only priority but they are ALL that matter, no compromise, nothing, it's his way or literally getting out! And you had to opt to leave the home, that should tell you everything.

That’s not actually fair on the child at all. Dad is telling her to stay in bed and watch TV and mum is saying she wants to go to bed. That’s not ok at all; and it’s absolutely terrible parenting to say you would give the daughter consequences for that. She is being put in the middle of her parents game playing, she is being used by one to bully the other, she is being given different instructions from each parent and pretty much being asked to choose between them and who to listen to.

It’s terrible parenting to put your child in the middle of this and then give them consequences for not listening to you… and what if dad gave consequences for not listening to him? That child can’t win. That’s called an abusive home.

OP, do not put your child in the middle and do not give her consequences because of her dad’s actions. You need to leave him and allow your child to have time separately with you both so she is never put in this position again.

I'd either get rid of the TV in the bedroom or get rid of him.

What an appalling example he's setting to your daughter!!

Well, I think you already know what to do. Take a lesson from his ex-wife and leave him over his behaviour. He is showing you who he is; he is selfish. Deep down, he is just selfish. What sort of person refuses to allow the person they love to go to sleep but taking over the bed and having the TV on at bedtime. Who does that? Someone who is fundamentally selfish and actually doesn’t care about your or your needs (a very real need for sleep).

Is this really who you want to spend your life with? You only get one go at life. Is this the man to spend it with?

Leave him, sort out coparenting and don’t waste anymore time on this man.

YABU not to divorce the disrespectful prick

It would be a deal breaker for me if I couldn’t sleep in my own bed when I needed to.

Were you watching your programmes in the lounge though and sent him to the bedroom? Then fell asleep on the sofa so wanted to go to bed? If you were dictating where he watched tv, that’s slightly different - but I suspect that wasn’t the case.

I'm sorry OP but you are being very unreasonable by letting this happen

Send your child to bed at the appropriate bedtime for their age. It's YOUR bed. If they don't get up and go to their own bed there would be consequences.

If the lazy prick won't go and watch TV downstairs then get rid of the bedroom TV. Bedrooms are for sleeping. If he has a problem with that then he can "fuck off" himself.

He's already chosen TV over a previous partner, so if you want to come in second place to an electronic then by all means stay with him but I couldn't bear the sad man-child behavior.

Well, a second relationship is about to end due to his TV habits and rudeness. What a tool.

My ex used to watch tv in bed all the time and it drove me crazy so I feel your pain. Removing TV from bedroom is a much healthier way to live all round!

the idea that you had to get up and get dressed and drive 40 miles is deeply troubling though and speaks to a bigger issue. That is not a caring considerate relationship. Sit him down and tell him that it's not good enough and set some more boundaries about the space. Sorry you have to deal with that.

No TV in the bedroom unless both partners agree. Haven't had a TV in the bedroom for years.

I'd be saying either the TV goes to the skip or I'm out of this relationship. I can't stand square eyed TV addicts and TVs in bedrooms are awful and shouldn't be a thing.

Your need for sleep trumps his/her addiction to television. You also need to consider that this behaviour and disrespect is now rubbing off on your child. Stop running away and hiding from the problem and do something about it! You've got posts going back to 2022 about this person being a rude, disrespectful arsehole to you. What is the point of this relationship?

Did he not even react as you left?

How old is your DD and why didn’t you send her to bed when you wanted to get in? The whole thing is ridiculous. Obviously ditch the inconsiderate partner and also the bedroom tv.