Told to fuck off at bed time as partner watching TV

Bloody hell, You're it right. It's got to be up there as one of the biggest I've seen on here.

Deliberately depriving another person of sleep is ABUSIVE BEHAVIOUR.

I would get rid of him OP, he is verbally abusive and doesn’t respect you. He is completely out of order. And it is your daughter? His behaviour towards you could impact your daughter’s behaviour towards you. He is showing her that it is acceptable to be disrespectful to you and that isn’t fair. For both you and your daughters sake and future happiness I would dump him!

Lmao

It's gone from consequences to punishment to abuse

Get a grip will you 🤣

I think you've been reading too many of your pullitzer prize winning children's stories

It’s bizarre to start going on about a movie being inappropriate when it isn’t. Glass is not inappropriate for a 10 year old, it has nothing to do with this thread but pearl clutchers still turn up to go on about how they’d only ever let their child watch a Disney movie and fast forward over any deaths 🙄

All of this.

Your daughter is watching you being abused. What attracted you to this man and what keeps you in this relationship? It needs to end. I cannot believe how awful and selfish he is. Disgusting

It really is! 🤣 good grief

Right… but you’re giving punishment to the child after being put in the middle, given different instructions by each parent and after being raised by one very selfish parent showing them selfish behaviours to copy.

You can’t see anything wrong in punishing the the child in this situation?

I think that puts you into the terrible and abuse parent category. Punishing a child after putting that child in the middle of the parents games.

This is a bizarre humble brag, even for Mumsnet.

YANBU

I hate TVs in bedrooms. My ex used to be the same, he would have the TV on in the bedroom till past midnight knowing I was trying to sleep and had to be up early for work in the morning. It caused so many arguments as he refused to sit and watch TV downstairs when I went to bed. When the TV in the bedroom broke I refused to replace it.

It's just rude, controlling and disrespectful of your partner to not switch the TV off and let you go to bed. It's not a good example for your daughter either. Is your partner like this in other aspects of your lives?

If this isn't a one off then he's going to ruin you DCs sleeping habits, school holidays or not 12.30 is way too late. He has no respect for you Op, you should be able to sleep in your own bed and way earlier than midnight. I'd think about staying in your own place and calling time on the whole thing

Well, she/he talks to you badly, he does not care about your needs, she/he is making poor parenting choices. And it's repeated behaviour.

I think that would be a dealbreaker for me too.

Yes

Your kid should go to bed when they are told to

If the partner is telling them to stay in OPs bed preventing them from sleeping there, the partner is the bad parent, not the OP

The daughter is being shown it's fine to treat OP with contempt.

My kids have seen Unbreakable and Glass when one was 12 and the other was 10. It’s fine if the child is mature enough and enjoys that type of thing.
My kids have seen plenty of films for older ages and I always get comments on how mature they are, how mature their vocabulary is, how intricate and interesting their creative writing is with twists and turns you wouldn’t expect to see until high school.

So… it’s a movie, it’s the parents choice and it’s fine for a 10 year old. My children certainly haven’t been harmed from watching light horror or heavier dramas.

You are not being unreasonable, OP. I know exactly where you're coming from re. TV dominating and being detrimental to relationships / family life.

I’ve a ten year old and we are not super strict but he would be well asleep before 9.30

I couldn’t stay with a man this cruel. You were right to drive to your own house but to do that when you were already exhausted is beyond me. So mean.

I hope you are ok today xxx

Why does it matter whether they’re married or not? At least if you’re married and decide to get a divorce, you can go your separate ways. When you have a child together, you’re tied in for life whether you like it or not

“Glass” as in M Night Shaymalan’s Glass - the horror film highly inappropriate for a 10 year old?? What the heck OP?

Ok. Dad or mum.
Got any comment to make on the rest of what I said or are you still telling the OP to issue her daughter with consequences?

This.

I don't think a TV has any place in a bedroom.

Why was a ten year old allowed to be watching tv in the early hours of the morning?!

How do you know its a Dad?

TV in bedroom? Never done it in my 60+ years of life. Not sure I’m the poorer for it.

This is so incredibly selfish, uncaring and abusive. It's common sense to me that in a shared bedroom the sleep needs of both parties comes first. This is true of partners or kids. It's dark and quiet at the point one wants to go to bed and stays that way until everyone is up. I get up earlier than my dh so I put my clothes in the bathroom so I don't wake him.

This is one reason I never have TV in a bedroom.

And what message is your daughter getting?

Are you taking on board that this isn’t just a one off TV issue? That fundamentally there are huge faults here, and your partner is simply selfish. And that your child is being put in the middle of this behaviour between the two of you.