Told to fuck off at bed time as partner watching TV

Hm, I think you are both really unreasonable. If my partner was asleep on the couch and I wanted to watch a movie with my child I may have gone to the bedroom to do so and not disturb you. If I was then watching the movie and you eventually came in the bedroom demanding the TV to be switched off because you were now going to bed in the bedroom I would be very WTAF as well.

TV's in bedrooms are unreasonable full stop

You clearly need to discuss this with DP-having to go to another house because you can't sleep in your own bed is ridiculous.

Your DP has no respect for you, the fact that you need sleep for work, and no respect for your Dd in being verbally abusive in front of the child.

Is your DP doing the school holiday childcare?

Please say you can see that this man is abusive and this is an awful relationship for your child to grow up in, and aren't actually considering buying a house with him?

He's completely unreasonable. The bedroom is for sleeping so the person who wants to sleep has priority!
He also sounds very disrespectful and he's teaching your daughter to disrespect you too.

For all those who say cut of the plug, does no one know how to wire a plug anymore?

Regardless of the situation, if a partner of mine cut the plug off anything I was using, a fuse and a new plug would be on it within 10 minutes.

I keep a store of them in case something blows a fuse and have stupid plugs where you can't get at the fuse.

Why on earth can't they watch TV in a different room?

Assuming there is space for the TV to go elsewhere, I would be saying no TV at all in the bedroom.

I hate tvs in bedrooms anyway.. bed is for sleep or sex! They should definitely watch tv in lounge if you need to sleep it's very selfish of them

What does he actually bring to your life?

TV in the bedroom would be an absolute deal breaker for me, it's like torture.

If you read the original post very carefully you will see that it doesn't say either parent told her to do anything.

Hence why I said "send your kid to bed"

Their partner said the TV was staying on but didn't tell the kid to stay, go, or anything else. So yeah, I would have told the kid to go to bed rather than skulk off.

Nowhere does it say either parent gave her an actual instruction

This situation wouldn't occur for me because my and my husband don't have a telly in the bedroom but we do have love and respect for each other and a healthy sleep routine

Now stop fantasising about what you think my life is like and calm down before you do yourself a mischief!

It seems like a terrible relationship, not least for your children stuck in the middle of it. Why are you staying together?

Preventing you from going to bed after midnight is 100% indefensible.

I would be thinking long and hard about whether to continue this relationship.

As the immediate fix, I'd have gone and got into the daughter's bed. Far easier and quicker than driving 40 miles at that time of night.
Then, separate to that, a conversation about how this is becoming a deal breaker for you and looking for a longer term solution.

OP does not appear to live their permanently as this other house appears to be available furnished and ready to go to in the middle of the night.

Side note, but is this a same sex relationship and is the daughter actually 'our' daughter or just one your, regardless of whose and whether they are mum or dad? If I found my 10 year old still in my bed at that time of night, she would get told to get back to her own bed. So I am wondering why this got tiptoed round, such as her not actually being 'our' child? There is something that feels slightly odd about the whole dynamic and the driving off elsewhere rather than sleep in her bed for the night.

Imagine what your daughter is going to be like when she hits puberty, having watched this awful relationship all her life.

So many options for her development with your example.

She'll have no respect for you and join in with abusing you, because you've cast yourself as the passive doormat.

Or she'll think that's just how relationships work - and be doomed to repeating putting up with the same shit you're modelling for her.

Or she'll behave like that to her own partner.

Your partner's ex ended their marriage precisely because of the TV watching behaviour that you're now complaining about.

But that's minor stuff.

The central point is that you're choosing to expose yourself - and more importantly your child - to an abuser.

You have a huge asset in your favour - a house, which many women here would pray for.

Time to turn it into a home for the two of you?

Completely inappropriate.

The OP is a Man. They make this unclear (as per their other posts). They don't seek to correct anyone of this fact, but do enjoy adding ever more shocking details.

DP needs dumped.

They don’t care about you.
Bad for dc too to be glued to the TV at past midnight.

YANBU but I don’t understand why if he is your DP and you refer to your 10 year old and ‘our’ daughter you still have a place of your own you can go sleep at.

This doesn’t sound at all like a healthy relationship and environment for you or your daughter.

Calm down mate

Putting a child in the middle of your games and then punishing that child for doing what the other parent told them to do is abuse.

If you can’t see that then you need parenting classes. It is abusive to punish a child for doing what their other parent told them to do. It is abusive to put a child in the middle of your relationship problems and then punish them for how they deal with it.

If you would punish the daughter in this situation then there is something very very wrong with your parenting. I hope you don’t actually have kids.

A 10 yo should be in bed, not watching a 16+ movie so late
Buy another TV for the lounge
Lay down some ground rules
He is rude, disrespectful and teaching your daughter he's the boss
I'd do what he asks, fuck off and don't go back

Get rid of the TV in the bedroom. Why are they choosing to watch that one? Maybe get more comfortable chairs in the room where the other TV is.