I’ve been married 4 years, together for almost 8. From what I can tell we’re very close, in love etc, it’s going well! He’s always been very level emotionally, no-drama type, no huge reactions to anything whether that’s happy news or sad (he’ll obviously smile / laugh if there’s good news and go a bit quiet / give me a hug if sad news, but no celebratory dance whilst punching the air or sobbing has ever happened). We’ve been through obviously our engagement and wedding, family weddings, family divorces, illness of close people etc and still very rational and level headed man, no giant reactions ever.
Now, out of nowhere, he has started choking up at the slightest thing in the last month or so. For example we had a small argument yesterday (over nothing big, just tidiness) - he started crying, when I asked what’s up he just responded that he’s being silly and it’s nothing, he just has a lot on at work (he does, in that he’s busy but his job isn’t at risk, he’s being praised by his boss etc)
Another example - a week ago his colleague made a remark that touched on his insecurity (without the colleague intending any offence I think), something he was teased about at school, and DH told me about it when he got home. I hugged him and said likely nothing was meant by it, it probably wasn’t intended that way, I love him exactly as he is etc and then realised he is full on crying during this hug.
Another time last week he got choked up talking about his grandparent who died years ago. We’ve discussed the grandparent many many times and never has my DH previously got tearful.
Now, I’m not at all anti guys crying. I understand they’re human. I want to support him whatever way I can, which is partly why I'm asking. I probably wouldn’t think much of it if my husband was like this all along. What concerns me is the change. What’s happening? Is he ok? Is there something he can’t tell me? I asked him and he just said he’s fine, it’s nothing, just being silly or just lack of sleep with a toddler. Seems to be something more? We’ve been lacking sleep for years! I don’t want to persistently ask again and again because clearly he doesn’t want to say (or can’t say?!) and I feel the only thing asking more would do is make him shut down more and cry in private.