To be worried about my husband crying so much?

I think you're right to be concerned by this sudden change in his behaviour. If he has a stressful/high pressure job, it might be that he's struggling with that. It's a very difficult thing for someone to admit, that they're not coping. Please get him to the GP and go in with him and explain your concerns 😟 he is lucky to have you there to support him 💐

He's feeling guilty about something else but doesn't know how to bring it up

You mentioned you have a toddler, it could just be an accumulation: stress of parenting, stress of work, lack of sleep. Sometimes DCs hitting a particular milestone unlocks a trauma. I'm not saying that it's nothing to worry about at all and 100% agree it needs getting to the bottom of, but it might not be catastrophic; it might just be too many straws on a camel's back.

The poor chap. I would be very concerned. Sometimes things can get on top of you and you don't even realise how negatively they are affecting you, and I think this can be even more true with men.

My dh tends to bottle things up, thinks its weak to confess to struggling.
Even after 20 years of marriage he hates admitting things are getting to him.
As others have said, find some quiet time, let him know you want to support him and, even if you can't do anything about it personally, you want to hear what's troubling him.

OP, sometimes you do just have to come out and ask it straight. Just like you explained it here.
"(affectionate term of your choosing), I noticed you are being unusually tearful lately. This is ok, I am very on board with you showing your emotions. But you were never like this before and I can't help but worry that this is out of character and something else is going on. I need you to be honest with me. Please don't tell me it is nothing because there is clearly something going on. Are you depressed? Did something happen? Do you think seeing a GP might help? You don't have to talk to me about it but you do have to talk to someone"

Heightened emotional reactions can be a sign of stress. How is his workload? I know you said his boss is praising him but burnout (particularly on top of lack of sleep and other caring responsibilities at home) can happen even if your boss thinks you're great...sometimes it can add more pressure as if you're the 'one who just gets on with things' its hard to admit you need help

Bless him. You need to reassure him, often, that you're there to talk whenever he needs to, and it'll be without judgement. Remind him you're a team and can work through anything that's worrying him - he's not alone.

You could gently suggest he take some sick time off work to de-stress. If he has to visit the GP to get a line, it might be the opportunity he needs to chat to his GP about how he's feeling.

Not normal

This was/is me. I have PTSD from horrible hospital experiences where I nearly died a few times, depression and childhood trauma. I had to have a course of Cognitive Behaviour Therapy. Turns out I also have people pleasing tendencies and tend to take the blame and responsibility for other people's fuck ups because I let them blame me for their actions by not stopping them from fucking up.

I was fine, on the outside, for years, until I got physically unwell. I'd had coping mechanisms all my life until that happened. Then it was crying at everything. A news story, a film, a nice gesture or fuck all really. I had therapy and got over it to an extent but I became suicidally depressed waiting seven months for my "urgent referral" to come through. I only got that because my husband contacted a council carers support agency who sent round a chap, who was horrified at the state I was in, who intervened with my GP who had previously denied me any mental health assistance whatsoever.

Being terribly ill, immobile, alone, isolated and not in control of anything basically jammed up all my coping mechanisms.

Also, some medical conditions can fuck with your mood on a physical chemical level as well as worry you into an emotional, tearful state. I'm not going to mention anything specific because I don’t want to scare you and it can be many conditions or none at all. A heart to heart and a doctors visit would be best right now

He hasn't reached the point where he won't look anybody in the eye, has he? No staring down all the time? That would be a bad sign.

This is most likely depression or stress in my non-medical and completely unqualified opinion.
I think he will open up if you hold him or do whatever it is that allows him to be free as it sounds like he is right on the edge.

He may well not be going through anything though, he may genuinely have just gotten to a stage where he is comfortable to be this open with you. For some Men they can never be this open even with themselves so it is perhaps a big step which complicates pushing things to strongly when looking for answers.

Ultimately, he's your husband and you're posting here because you're worried. Speak to him.

"I've noticed you crying a lot lately and that's not like you. Why are you crying?"

Try probe gently with questions that do NOT have a "nothing" or "yes or no" answer. You can phrase it as you think best. You have to find out though, something is up.

Stress? What does having a lot on at work actually mean? Busy getting new, exciting projects off the ground, constantly dealing with difficult colleagues/clients, increase in workload with no end in sight... Some of these things are more stress/anxiety inducing than others.

Don't ask him "are you ok?" He'll just say yes. Say to him "please tell me what's wrong, let me help you".

Has he started taking any medication recently?

There was an incident in my office where 3 colleagues (within months of eachother) suddenly had these outbursts where they cried at the drop of a hat. It turned out they'd all actually been prescribed the same medication. I believe it was for migraines.

I'm ashamed to say our whole office had very stereotypical views in that, it didn't seem something was completely off until the 3rd person (a man) started with the crying too.

Oh gosh its difficult. I have a dh who suffers with depression and I sometimes have to just wait until it's quiet, just the two of us, and say something like 'right, I know you might not want to talk about this but I'm worried so just hear me out,' and then just explain why I'm worried, with as much kindness as possible, and no judgement at all.

It's not easy though, it really depends on how he might react to it. Sometimes my dh is reluctant to talk, and I sort of have to say my piece and then give him time to process and come back to me. Which can be days sometimes. Sometimes he's clearly dealing with enough anxiety and me adding to it isn't going to help. It's a judgement call. But i will say after the first time you have a chat like that, the next time is easier, and the time after that is easier too.

Whatever is up, when someone is clearly not ok asking them if they are ok doesn't usually get the answer you want. If they're not ok they don't know what to say. Might be you have asked him more specifically and every way you can think of and he won't tell you, that's not your fault. Maybe don't ask him if he is ok, acknowledge that you can tell he isn't and tell him you love him either way.

I'd pick a quiet moment and say pretty firmly: "Look, I know you keep saying nothing is wrong but I have seen a change in you, it's not like you to be so emotional. I love you and I'm really worried. You need to tell me what is going on."

Lacking sleep for years can eventually lead to problems with mood/ depression/ anxiety.

There doesn’t need to be deep seated issues behind it. Stress and lack of sleep are enough to cause mood problems.
That’s the specific thing he’s mentioned, maybe it’s not just a brush off. You should talk to him about that and maybe ways he could get more sleep (but not by you becoming more sleep deprived instead, I know that might not be possible). If that doesn’t improve things, tell him to make a gp appointment or do it for him.

Absolutely agree.
This is my DH to a T.
He was always very level and emotionally calm etc and out of nowhere almost he started having panic attacks, crying at the drop of a hat etc.
He was suffering from severe depression and anxiety and trying to bottle it up and hold it back.
Thankfully he got started on some.counseeling fairly quickly - he refused meds, and he's navigating through it but we are now 8 months on from when the panic attacks started so it's not been a short journey x

Something is coming up for him, not necessarily major trauma, but early life stuff. Maybe the defences (we all have them) that have generally worked well for him have come unstuck. Presuming he's not got too many present secrets from you, he likely doesn't understand himself what's coming up.
Burnout - stress at work, young family, high expectations of self - or possibly hormonal imbalances could be it too.

Please make a GP appt asap as it sounds like he is on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

Try to get him out walking in peaceful surroundings and doing mindfulness exercises like deep breathing.

If he is prescribed meds, make sure he takes them in front of you. And don't stop them unless the GP authorises it.

My DS22 went through this last year. I never knew he could sob… and endlessly.
Pressure. Incredible fear of failure. Third year architecture student at The Bartlett (intense pressure). He’s such an extraordinary young man but the pressure of uni, the all nighters working his backside off, and bumping up against years of historical abuse, just made a seismic impact on his well-being. I would say that your DH is definitely anxious about something and unready to share. This is so hard for you (and him of course). He’s cracking, which is a good thing because he will have to open up. But when? And what is it about? That’s the hard part. Lack of sleep adds even more stress. That’s definitely fuelling the anxiety.
💐

Something's changed. Has he ever suffered depression, anxiety, had other MH?
It sounds like he could do with some input from a doctor, maybe a counsellor.
There could be something that happened ages ago that he's buried and it's coming up now for some reason.
I hope you can encourage him to seek help.