To have just wanted a relaxing massage?

@Salumthecat

I think @Onehotday has a very good summary that is polite but gets over the clear message not only that the massages had become unsatisfactory but also that she has been totally inappropriate in asking your friends about you.

You have no obligation to reply but if you would like to that message would be a good start. I think I would want to make a few pointed comments!

Actually whatever you do, it's going to be awkward. She will probably promise the world to get you back.

I would reply very nicely and just say she gave great massages however you were gifted a few sessions with the new place and realised after those treatments that you really valued the Silent Appointments and benefitted from the the full 50 minutes.

You understand that she probably reduced your appointments from 50 to 30 mins and focused on some areas more than others because she had used her professional judgement but that the appointment wasn't just for your physical wellbeing but your mental health too ansort would have been helpful if she could have discussed that with you first so that you could have had a conversation about it as actually the time and experience is more important than the physical benefits.

Basically just add loads of fluff to say uou wanted a silent appointment that lasted the full time you'd paid for.

Simiar problem here, my feet are short and wide....its bliss when you find the right shoes. I have gone into cosyfeet trainers.

Wow, that is so unprofessional and strange! You don't owe her loyalty, it's a business, not a gang!!.so you clearly know her locally a bit as well, she has laid on a guilt trip and sent the most unprofessional email. She should really have differentiated between work and private life. I understand why you feel uncomfortable. I'm sure nothing bad was said but she was in the wrong.

Feel free to ignore. It is not normal to check up on you and message in such terms. However, if you wish to respond, feel free to let her know frankly.

'this is an unexpected message. I would be happy to give feedback but am I am not particularly comfortable with being held accountable for your income stream, or with the discussion you had with my friends. The massages were a professional arrangement. It is quite unusual that you have followed up by checking up on me with my friends. If you had a welfare concern, you have my contact details.

However, for information, the first X massages were satisfactory. The last was X minutes shorter than the 50 minute slot and concentrated a lot less on my plantar fascitis areas as discussed.

I book massages to help with relaxation and anxiety I left the last feeling unrelaxed due to the ongoing chat which was not a feature of previous massages. It is not for the customer to ask the masseuse to stop talking about assorted topics including TV so I wasn't comfortable feeding back at the time. I have now found a practitioner who is a better fit.

Please do not contact me again on this matter. I am happy to move past outside the business as we have known each other a long time it but please be aware this was quite the overstep'.

I know it's arsey but id be pissed off at being asked. I think she's really overstepped the mark. That's quite weird. I know it's not confidential in the same way as a doctor but there's a very personal service in my view

I actually think this masseuse is completely unprofessional, especially asking people in the street! First rule for any massage therapist is confidentiality! When I worked as a masseuse, I would take a chatty client as someone who isn't relaxing properly to get full effect from the massage. I'd shorten replies to a chatty client to ease them, but never initiate a conversation, its a quiet treatment! I was taught to listen to the breathing to gage what was working. Absolutely provide honest feedback, to not provide a full treatment, is probably why business is slowing. This therapist may be inexperienced and learn from loosing your custom. If you buy a 5 night stay and are told to leave after the 4th night you would say why, this is no different. You shouldn't have to tell a masseuse not to talk, that's a given. Also to dicuss your treatments with people is awful practise, I'd mention that as another reason you'd now feel awkward returning to her.

There's no obligation for you to respond, I had a similar thing with my nail place I go to, I changed after 6 years due to a few issues and they sent me a message a few weeks ago saying they miss me! They might miss my money but it's not the same thing- I didn't reply.

It sounds like you really need to work on your self esteem, and your healthy entitlement to receive the time you pay for, and to say- I'd prefer a relaxing massage, do you mind if we don't have a conversation or something along those lines. Until you learn to speak up for yourself, things like this will keep happening to you

As a massage therapist who runs her own business, I can advise:

Please don’t feel you should respond to this lady (I cringed that she asked you to almost explain yourself!) - but, some constructive feedback will help her.

You have every right as a paying client to choose where you want to go.

As a therapist and as I client myself, I hate talking to clients whilst giving massages and receiving them! So I agree.

i also ensure my clients get the time they pay for as well - but I don’t pack clients in like sardines so it does depend on the structure of the day.

For those with Plantar, I’ve had it for 9 months, what cured me;

• Massage
• Physio (with massage)
• Special supportive in-soles to cushion the foot
• Do not walk around bare footed or in flip flops or sliders whilst out and about

Now that I've read the post where she stopped people in the street asking about you, I'd even go so far as to send her a review by recorded post and suggest that her techniques for gathering feedback need improving and that you're tempted to post a review of her services on line - she clearly has zero boundaries so why should you be worried!
Something like "Visited X salon a few times in the past 6 months. Found the treatments to be shorter than their advertised duration and not relaxing (unless you like chatting throughout a massage). Learned that therapist discussed me with others when I didn't return to salon, so if you value your privacy, you might want to give them a fake name when booking LOL" or some flavour of that.

Honestly, I think you should get angry with her - how very dare she!!!!

You’re allowed to go elsewhere! If she has directly asked you for feedback, I’d give it to be honest. You don’t have to be cruel, you can just say what you did here. I don’t know how she found out though, that’s a bit concerning that she seems to know that information.

I used to be a massage therapist and it is upsetting when long term clients go elsewhere. But she would’ve gaged from your review why you did.

I would reply, tell her why and leave it at that. I’ve also been on the end of crappy massages, one was half hour shorter than I booked and the therapist left the room for a bit!! I left a review and she denied it all. I’m in desperate need of a massage but am worried about booking anywhere

I wouldn't have thought so - she is doing research on why someone who claimed to be a loyal customer has moved to a different service provider.

I would respond to her and say these are the reasons that I have moved service provider (talk in a pure business way so you're keeping any sort of emotion out of the conversation)

• I wasn't getting the full 50mins massage I was paying for
• The massage wasn't relaxing
• When asking to focus on key areas (feet/wherever) they were given a cursory look over and not worked on long enough to be effective.
• Wasn't value for money based on these issues

I'm shocked at her message. Don't reply unless it's literally you talk too much and cut the massage short and certainly never see her again. Very unprofessional. Chatting to your friends about you. I hope they realize it's unprofessional too.

If the therapist is chatty, you could ask "Can I ask you, as I've been meaning to for a while now, but when you put 50 mins on your treatment brochure for X treatment, does that include the time spent for me getting undressed and waiting for you to return to the room or is it the duration of the treatment itself? I've never quite understood the duration that I see put on treatments in spa brochures."

See what they say.

I’m a massage therapist and I don’t talk during a massage unless the client wants to chat. I actually find it really annoying to chat while I’m working, a massage is hard working if done correctly and I can’t chat and breathe while putting effort into a massage, Also I count in my head at various times and it puts me off.

Some clients like to get things off their chest during a massage, but I usually listen and make the odd agreement sounds.

As for the treatment time being cut short, that’s awful. Although I advertise my appointment time and say it’s approximate. So say it’s a 60 min massage, the time getting undress and dressed is included, but I’m only the other side of the door and go in when I hear the treatment couch has a weight on it. So it’s probably 2-3mins either side. That’s totally normal. Missing 20 mins off a massage is not. That’s unacceptable behaviour.

I’d say something like ‘although initially the service I received from you was exactly what I was looking for, over time the massage treatment time was halved and ceased to be as relaxing as they became more chatty. It was my choice not to discuss this with you. I am very surprised that you have approached other people about my experience and suggest you refresh yourself with GDPR rules.’

I honestly wouldn't reply to her at all.

1: She will guilt you (even more) by saying that you should have said something at the time. Now, she is upset that you didn't mention anything at the time. "Stuff was going on at home" Blah blah..

2: She will possibly offer you a discount or a free massage as she really needs your custom etc "so sorry to have upset you"

You will then be in the same position you are now.
Do you ignore her follow up/discount offer?
As by then you are engaged in the dialogue.

The best response is no response.

I used to give aromatherapy massages and tbh spoke very very few words. As the therapist I found being silent gave the client a far better experience and, maybe selfishly, it was almost a treatment for me too - the aromas and zen music.
You don’t owe an explanation and I think she’s a bit cheeky to ask but as she has you can be very honest in your feedback should you choose to reply.

I would tell her. She's obviously gone out her way to ask for feedback. It will help others I'm sure if she is aware.

Though I can't believe she's emailed you which js unhinged cheeky

By fluke I discovered a new massage therapist near to me recently. Had my first session this week. I was extremely grateful that she told me she wouldn't say much unless she needed me to move/change position, the shite music was optional, and I got the whole allotted time!
It is difficult to find a therapist to suit your needs, I think I've found mine finally.
As for that email @Salumthecat I would be really pissed off. How dare she discuss you with your friends! That crosses a line for me.
If you want to give her feed back I'd make it factual and short

1. you didn't give me 50 mins but charged for 50 mins
2. you talk far too much for a massage to be relaxing
3. you broke my trust by discussing me with my friends. HTH. Salum. Good luck with whatever you decide 🪻

I wouldn't respond. You don't owe her an explanation and frankly you don't need guilting into returning to her. The nature of this time of work is its transient. It's unrealistic to expect every client to stay forever. She has been extremely unprofessional in blocking you.

I left a hairdresser abruptly after a few years as I got sick of her rude behaviour. She does ask after me (my adult dd attends) but she has never gone as far as to contact me.

Wow after reading her email she's a real cheeky and unprofessional cow.

How dare she question you friends about you?!

My response would be along the lines of-

Hi X,

I had hoped to save your feelings in just not rebooking. I do not appreciate you asking other people about my private life, that's really invasive and unprofessional.

I have moved to another salon firstly because the service was no longer enjoyable due to you talking to me all the way through. It is meant to be a relaxing experience and I tried to gently let you know I didn't want to chat but you continued. Secondly because you were not giving me the time I paid for. You have repeatedly cut my time short and not focused on the areas I asked for.

In the interest of not hurting a small business I chose not to write the above in a review and simply move elsewhere.

Regards
OP

i get regular masssge to help
manage pain and if it wasn’t working for me anymore according to how you describe it. would definitely change therapists and would not feel bad about it. Where I go, the receptionist asks for brief feedback after each massage so that would be a way to give honest feedback to another person if o wanted to. The therapist I use only talks of I talk to her and I get the full time so you did the right thing. I wouldn’t worry about people talking, if they do, just ssy’’it wasn’t working out’ or, ‘we weren’t a good fit.’

The therapist has sent you a request the feedback. Her explanation why she wants it sounds reasonable but passive aggressive and unprofessional so would annoy me. You are under no obligation to reply but if you decide to , I would probably say something like, ‘thank your email requesting feedback. As you are aware, I pay for massages in order to help manage very painful symptoms of plantar fasciitis etc… and unfortunately the 50 minute massages I purchased were not meeting my needs. They began to get shorter and I don’t find that talking during a massage helps me so it wasn’t a good fit. All the best for the future. ‘

or be really to the point and put:

1. Massages were cut short.
2. Too much talking to be able to relax

Hope your symptoms are more managed now, op.

"because I can't afford to pay £60 for a 20 minute massage, this feels a bit more luxurious than my budget allows as presumably you would have to charge around £150 for the 50 minute massage I was previously getting. I'm so very sorry I wasn't aware the original £60 for 50 minutes was some form of introductory offer.
Please feel free to share my feedback with others Byeeeeee"

Is this how the massage was sold though? As a ‘zen relaxing massage’? Then the client could reasonably expect silence.

If I have a massage it’s for a specific practical reason - I have been having an issue with a sore x, y, z - and need their skills as a masseuse to loosen the area off. I would never expect silence, but then I would never go to a therapy-style massage place, The masseuses I see would never stay silent - it would be creepy and I would feel somewhat self indulgent. You would never expect a sports massage to be silent for instance. That would be quite rude.

A massage not lasting for the displayed time is clearly unacceptable.