To think this is fucking crazy

If you want to visit Morocco Essaouira is beautiful, a lot more laid back and 'liberal' I felt very safe and comfortable there. They also have the Argan oil collectives, completely run by women! It has a bit of a hippy vibe.
Marrakech never again and I've travelled a lot. I think people who say they love it stay in the big AI hotels on the outskirts at la Palmeraie and don't leave other than maybe for an organised excursion, which isn't really my kind of holiday!

@MyOtherCarisAVauxhallZafira
Absolutely when a teenager groped my bottom when I was at a cash point with now DH ten feet away I told him in no uncertain terms to get off of me,
Bloody hell, that's appalling. I had heard that Marrakech can be bad for women, but that is awful. Sad when it's clearly such a beautiful place, I'm sure many women would love to visit but feel too put off by the misogyny.

It's not unknown that these kinds of views are prevalent especially in more rural areas of France. I would have your holiday and maybe feedback to airbnb.

In the same way when I visited Morocco and the Riad owner spoke of my 'husband' we weren't married then, just engaged, but I was wearing a ring and this man had rented us a room with a double bed, in a country where that would make people uncomfortable if we were not married. So I just said yes, my husband is driving us to Essaouira when we leave here and we carried on with the conversation about routes etc, I understood his values and beliefs are different to mine and that's ok in his culture and country.

I also didn't like the overt misogyny I experienced in parts of Marrakech and I wouldn't go back there, but I also didn't see it as my place to challenge from an ideological perspective. Absolutely when a teenager groped my bottom when I was at a cash point with now DH ten feet away I told him in no uncertain terms to get off of me, but I didn't then get into a discussion about why it's not ok to objectify and sexually assault women.

Utter horrid people.

OP just go now as your enroute but leave them a suitable review after your home stating their islamaphobic beliefs. It's different if he says he just can't accommodate to seperate pool for ladies only but he literally spewed hate about how the whole area doesn't want Muslims there.

Go skinny dipping and see if that offends him instead. I don't get why they're so obsessed with Burkinis over there when they're after safe or make the men wear speedos. Freedom of expression my arse.

For the record, what other people (male or female) wear in a swimming pool doesn't bother me one bit. So long as nobody pees in it, it's all good

@itstheendoftheworldasweknowitnow as a Muslim woman, thank you for recognising this man's bigotry and feeling in your heart that it's not ok for someone to hold such views.

At this late stage, don't disappoint your children by cancelling their holiday. Go, let them enjoy it. Cancelling won't achieve anything - he'd keep the money and he wouldn't care that someone was offended, so you'd end up with no holiday and disappointed children for nothing. Save all the messages, maybe even ask him to clarify what his objection is, and then you can report him to whatever booking site and monitoring organisations he's involved with. What he's doing is discrimination and may be illegal as well as bigoted, so the relevant parties should be made aware.

Islam says if we see injustice, we should try to challenge it with our actions; if we can't, then we should try to challenge it with words; and if we can't, then we should challenge it in our hearts. If all you can do is to recognise that it isn't right for the someone to discriminate against people because of their faith, that's actually a lot, because many people in the world don't see it as a problem.

(I wonder what the guy would make of me... White British hijabi who speaks French)

To be fair, I wouldn't be happy sharing a pool with someone or people who were dictating of what I was wearing so as not to offend them - either way! If it does matter to you as a Muslim, then you should book a completely private place so you can do what you want? Same as someone who's a naturist should book a resort that doesn't mind them stripping off! Sounds like the landlord has had problems in the past with people dictating who else can see them in the pool. I don't think he's being unreasonable, he's checking before you kick off as clearly he's had issues in the past.

We once shared a pool with a few families, one of them were Turkish- the dad refused to be in the pool and would not allowed his teenage sons be in the water if any women were in the pool. The thing was, they would leave the pool instead of expecting everyone else not to use it though, so we ended up having a schedule when their family was using it for themselves.

^ This! Let's be honest, it's freaking selfish to insist and impose your religious views on others full stop, never mind when you're supposed to just be having a laugh in cossie in a swimming pool. I don't want to be dictated to by someone else's religion whatever that may be on holiday and neither do most others.

Gawd. That sounds horrible. But I guess if there is law against the veil? Which in itself is horribly oppressive. But I heard they insist men wear budgie smugglers or face deportation?
I think the French are weird about swimwear?
I really hope they don't spoil your holiday.
I personally think what he said could be breaching some sort of law against racism, if they said that in the UK. But who knows in France?

So, would you say that all male groups are so common that it's something you would risk not enjoying your holiday for by not bothering to check in advance? Because I was clearly not referring to them, I was referring to the idea of them "taking the risk" that there might be women wanting to use the pool, when the risk would be probably at least ninety percent.

Anyway, I'll leave you to bask in your warm glow of faux tolerance and self-denial, but I'll just say, there's a difference between being kind and deluding yourself about what happened. But I'll leave you to have the (no doubt, lovely and kind, since you're clearly a terribly lovely and kind person) last word.

Well, if it's rural Provence, then it's not an unusual attitude. My husband is from there and much as I love the area - it's also shockingly racist towards Muslims, paired with an unhealthy dose of xenophia, and there's very little social stigma around expressing those views openly.

There's not much you can do now and it's not as if not going will make the slightest bit of difference.

Just report the booking post holiday and let them know what was said. Unfortunately, because of the rules around religious dress in France, they may not be falling foul of any regulations but you can also leave a review that shows them up for their racist attitudes.

Oh, no, mine would be on Normandy/Brittany.
ETA: Oops, just seen the OP says it's Provence. As you were.

No i am not

I don't think being anti racist is 'having London values'. Surely it's just being a decent person. Please report this guy to Air BnB.

Muslims are NOT a race, they follow a religion.

The owner referred to VEILS from the translation which seems to point to him having a problem with burqas. Muslim women and girls are not required to completely cover themselves by Islam so it’s not religious discrimination either.

I don’t think it’s a positive thing to condone women and young girls being taught that they must completely cover themselves up to prevent men being sexually attracted to them and being unable to control themselves sexually assaulting them.

They were not passive aggressive, maybe that's what you assumed, but they were quite kind and didn't make a fuss. I also didn't say they were all male, but that there were three males in the family, t the females stayed in the pool with us when we were around. You obviously made assumptions based on your experience or rather lack of it, maybe that's why there is so many misunderstandings out there, because people prefer to assume the worst rather than chat.
Being kind is not an inconvenience to me, but if you struggle, then it's your problem.

Although it is racist, he isn't alone in the racism he is speaking about the whole community where this rental is. It's the equivalent of western people travelling to Saudi Arabia and being told they must wear head coverings or face discrimination/ violence from the locals. In annidela world everyone would be accepted wherever they go but in many countries this is not the case for various reasons.

Tbh, in your position I would have done the same, because I wouldn't want my holiday ruined by some bloke passive-aggressively getting out of the pool every time I approached it. But seriously- how common is it for family groups on holiday to be all male? I mean, sure, it's possible, but if it was something that could mean you might not be able to use the pool, would you just risk it, or would you check in advance? Don't pretend to yourself he wasn't taking advantage of your good nature. It's got nothing today with "hating on other people because of their different beliefs". But, in your own words, you do you.

Maybe read the full thread. It is in fact illegal to wear any face covering in France, be it religious veil, helmet or balaclava… and this is what the owner is referring to.

Not read the whole thread….but an alternative interpretation:

Pool is shared between Airbnb and the owner’s home. In some circumstances (inc ‘veiled’ Muslim family) the women wouldn’t be able to use the pool or be ‘unveiled’ poolside if there were non-related men there too. This would lead to either the owner not being able to use his pool, or the venting family having a very poor holiday. If he’s had this issue before, he might be keen to avoid going through it again

OP, hope you’re having a wonderful time

This is surely illegal! It would be in the UK. You need to report this to relevant authorities

The problem with leaving a review is that it’s also helpful to the kind of people who feel the same way he does.

I think it would be better to raise the matter with booking.com

No, the host has stated he would refuse entry. I wouldn’t make them share space with an openly racist host.

I wonder what question you actually asked as the response is very odd. And also that you would only find out about this when on the way.

I agree with the ‘go anyway’ PPs. If the Islamic rules around swimming pools mean that the owners and guests could not enjoy the pool together in the usual congenial manner, then this is different to saying something like ‘no POC can visit’. It is more analogous to someone who is vegan (perhaps for religious reasons) insisting on going to a steakhouse which only serves meat or someone who does eat meat insisting that the whole steakhouse is reserved exclusively for them at some times.

Yes, I have many Muslim friends who are English. This would bother me- would you get a refund if you were to cancel?