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AIBU?

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To think this is fucking crazy

436 replies

itstheendoftheworldasweknowitnow · 13/08/2024 15:46

We’re en route to a holiday rental in France. I wasn’t sure if the pool was shared or not between other guests so emailed the owner to ask. This is his reply - which I put in to google translate
Could you tell me if sharing the swimming pool with us who occupy the ground floor bothers you and for what reason? Recently we refused the rental because the wife and the two young daughters were veiled; are you english or muslim? We do not want you to make the trip and see yourself refused access to our property for reasons of displaying religious beliefs which are very resented by the neighborhood.

Fuck Fuck Fuck
What the hell do I do?
I am not a Muslim.
I am also not a racist.

OP posts:
Bellsandthistle · 14/08/2024 03:25

It isn’t illegal to refuse to rent your property to someone. It’s not a demand people can make of you ffs. And inability to use your own shared pool is reasonable grounds anyway.

Oodiks · 14/08/2024 03:08

Findingmypurposeinlife · 14/08/2024 02:20

What, just because she might have asked if it was a shared pool, the owner has then assumed she might break the law (and upset the neighbours) because she might wear a burka when she arrives? Surely if it's illegal, she would be arrested before she even got there!! 😃
Sounds like the owner might be ever so slightly paranoid! 😅

How's that finding purpose thing going?

user1492757084 · 14/08/2024 03:07

Talipesmum · 13/08/2024 15:50

Blimey. Seeing as you’re en route right now, I’d just reply saying “Our religion is not relevant to you. We are happy to share the pool - we wanted to clarify whether it is shared or not”.

This.

He is allowed to want to keep using his own pool and needs to know if that will offend his guests. And so some guests would be inappropriate. He is not racist, necessarily.
He is entitled to share his pool with people who will not mind sharing.

He is also informing and alerting Muslim guests about the neighbourhood not being welcoming and tolerant. Will they be relaxed and enjoy a holiday there in a suburb like that?

Findingmypurposeinlife · 14/08/2024 02:20

Oodiks · 13/08/2024 23:55

The holiday is in France, where there is a burka ban, and the owner refuses service to burka wearing families.

What, just because she might have asked if it was a shared pool, the owner has then assumed she might break the law (and upset the neighbours) because she might wear a burka when she arrives? Surely if it's illegal, she would be arrested before she even got there!! 😃
Sounds like the owner might be ever so slightly paranoid! 😅

Qanat53 · 14/08/2024 01:16

It looks like a misunderstanding. Just go, and enjoy.

Pookerrod · 14/08/2024 01:10

Scirocco · 14/08/2024 00:54

Reading the message in French does come across as rather prejudiced. He's clearly saying people who are visibly Muslim are not welcome and would be refused entry, complete with saying that they would not be welcome by the neighbours. That's not the same as saying the communal/shared status of the pool is non-negotiable. He also says he has previously refused entry to guests because they were 'veiled' (which is used to refer to hijab) and asks if the OP is English or Muslim. That all comes across as pretty prejudiced, really.

You are right, he is saying that if the OP is Muslim and wearing a headscarf then they wouldn’t be welcome. But I do think he is relating it to pool use as he links it with the question as to why sharing a pool would be an issue.

I’m not saying that the man isn’t bigoted in his views. All I’m saying is that I wouldn’t rush to any conclusions and cancel a holiday reservation based on a brief exchange via google translate.

NonsuchCastle · 14/08/2024 01:06

Tricho · 13/08/2024 19:46

is this not laicite? If you turned up wearing a visible crucifix, sikh turban or kippah the same would happen judging ny. By rights though you're not even allowed to ask other's religion.

Some more rural areas of france taken it more seriously than others.

You have a choice, endorse this quite stringent imposement of laicite and take your holiday, or make a stand and dont go.

what you dont have a right to do is go, knowing this is the case, and then complain about it when there.

Nope, it is not mere secularism (laicite). Only Muslims were specified. No other religion, religious apparel or symbols were mentioned.

Usernamenotavailabletryanother · 14/08/2024 00:57

Enjoy your holiday OP, but don’t forget to piss in the pool on the last day 👍

Scirocco · 14/08/2024 00:54

Pookerrod · 14/08/2024 00:45

This is what I think it is.

My muslim friend wouldn’t be able to use a shared pool with another man present. I think he is saying that he has been in this situation. Where he was told that previous guests couldn’t use the pool if it was shared with him due to them needing to be covered in the presence of another man. And that doesn’t work for him as he wants to share the pool.

Given the clear language barrier, I wouldn’t jump to the conclusion that he is racist.

Reading the message in French does come across as rather prejudiced. He's clearly saying people who are visibly Muslim are not welcome and would be refused entry, complete with saying that they would not be welcome by the neighbours. That's not the same as saying the communal/shared status of the pool is non-negotiable. He also says he has previously refused entry to guests because they were 'veiled' (which is used to refer to hijab) and asks if the OP is English or Muslim. That all comes across as pretty prejudiced, really.

cassandre · 14/08/2024 00:52

Given the clear language barrier, I wouldn’t jump to the conclusion that he is racist.

Oh dear. After posting the Google translate version of the message, the OP followed this up by posting the message in the original French. Numerous French speakers on the thread then provided accurate translations of the message.

There's no language barrier, and there's no ambiguity as to whether or not the message is racist.

I'm going to bed now. Peace and love to all. I hope the OP has a lovely holiday regardless of everything!

Pookerrod · 14/08/2024 00:45

ImaginaryCat · 13/08/2024 16:15

Giving the benefit of the doubt (and factoring in the translation aspect) I would assume he's previously had a Muslim family arrive and then refuse to share the pool with his family. That could be quite a tricky situation to navigate, if not a complete legal minefield, so he just doesn't want to put himself in the same situation.

The last bit about not being welcome here is where any nuance could get lost in translation... he could be referring to his family not wanting to sacrifice access to their own pool for someone else's religious beliefs. Which, to be fair, is their right.

This is what I think it is.

My muslim friend wouldn’t be able to use a shared pool with another man present. I think he is saying that he has been in this situation. Where he was told that previous guests couldn’t use the pool if it was shared with him due to them needing to be covered in the presence of another man. And that doesn’t work for him as he wants to share the pool.

Given the clear language barrier, I wouldn’t jump to the conclusion that he is racist.

cassandre · 14/08/2024 00:40

BossMadam · 14/08/2024 00:24

MUSLIMS ARE NOT A RACE.

Embarrassing.

This thread is certainly illuminating.

I have an uneasy feeling that the posters on this thread who don't think that this French chap is racist are the kind of people who don't think that Reform UK is a racist party either. 😥

With all due respect, debate between those people and me isn't going to be fruitful. Our world views, as I said, are too different.

Scirocco · 14/08/2024 00:40

BossMadam · 14/08/2024 00:20

Where is the Qur’an does it say women must wear the burqa, a veil or even a hijab?

Businesses are free to refuse entry to anyone, let alone on their private property, as long as they are not discriminating under the Equality Act. I assume that France’s has similar laws?

France has legislation that says a person should not be discriminated against because of their religion. So by refusing service on the basis of a person's religion, the man could be breaking the law.

Even if he weren't technically breaking a law, it would still be discriminatory to refuse something to someone because of their religion. If you or I refused to do something for someone because they belonged to a particular faith, when we would do it if they didn't belong to that faith, that would be discrimination on the basis of religion, whether or not it was reported or treated as a legal offence.

With regards the question of what is in the Qur'an about covering, there are verses in the Qur'an and accounts within the hadith that discuss clothing and conduct in different settings. A recurring theme is about modesty and respect for others, but there's a huge spectrum of views on what that means in practice and in modern societies. There are also lots of Muslim women and men who identify as Muslim but might not want or feel in a position to follow every bit of 'best practice ' guidance - just like in any religion.

Oodiks · 14/08/2024 00:39

cassandre · 14/08/2024 00:27

Well, if that is your opinion, I give up. We don't share the same view of the world.

It's true that Islam is a religion not a race, but anti-Muslim discourse is absolutely saturated with racism, both in France and in the UK.

Just in case his views weren't crystal clear, this guy asked the OP to clarify whether she was Muslim OR English. I guess that would also be religious discrimination and not racism according to you?

Maybe he hates the English too :o)

MaryEllenWaldron · 14/08/2024 00:33

This reply has been deleted

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Custardcream84 · 14/08/2024 00:31

BossMadam · 14/08/2024 00:20

Where is the Qur’an does it say women must wear the burqa, a veil or even a hijab?

Businesses are free to refuse entry to anyone, let alone on their private property, as long as they are not discriminating under the Equality Act. I assume that France’s has similar laws?

In the UK it would most definitely be illegal
to refuse a service to someone because they wore a hijab.

MaryEllenWaldron · 14/08/2024 00:29

This reply has been deleted

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Custardcream84 · 14/08/2024 00:29

ButtSurgery · 13/08/2024 15:53

Remember that in France it's illegal to wear the hijab ("veiled") in public. Same for wearing "burkini" swimwear.
https://www.amnesty.org/en/latest/news/2024/07/france-hijab-bans-olympic-and-paralympic/#:~:text=In%20France%2C%20the%20prohibition%20on,both%20professional%20and%20amateur%20levels.

Google translate probably misses a lot of the proper translation (tone, nuance etc).

Can you post the original here for those who speak the language?

it Is absolutely NOT illegal to wear the hijab in France! I wear hijab and have been multiple times. In some settings in schools and certain jobs they ban it sadly and covering the face is not allowed. But I think any Muslim would be rejected by this disgusting racist. I would personally report them for racism to the platform they use. I feel I have definitely been rejected in the past from air b&b etc based on my name and I can’t stand that kind of discrimination. ‘It would be resented in our neighbourhood’. F**ing racist piece of shit of an owner.

cassandre · 14/08/2024 00:27

Oodiks · 14/08/2024 00:21

It may be religious discrimination, but it is not racism.

Well, if that is your opinion, I give up. We don't share the same view of the world.

It's true that Islam is a religion not a race, but anti-Muslim discourse is absolutely saturated with racism, both in France and in the UK.

Just in case his views weren't crystal clear, this guy asked the OP to clarify whether she was Muslim OR English. I guess that would also be religious discrimination and not racism according to you?

BossMadam · 14/08/2024 00:24

cassandre · 14/08/2024 00:14

Honestly I don't know why I'm still bothering to correct the misinformation, but ... no, you are wrong on two counts.

  • First, France has a ban on wearing burqas in public. There is no problem with wearing a burqa in a holiday flat.
  • Second, the owner states that he refuses service to women who are 'voilées'. In French, this does not mean women wearing burqas; this means women wearing headscarves. So he is refusing service to all Muslim women, not just those in burqas.

If the owner believed that it was illegal for him to rent his holiday flat to Muslim women, he presumably would have said so. Instead, he said that he doesn't rent to Muslims because it makes the neighbours uncomfortable.

RACISM.

MUSLIMS ARE NOT A RACE.

Embarrassing.

Oodiks · 14/08/2024 00:21

cassandre · 14/08/2024 00:14

Honestly I don't know why I'm still bothering to correct the misinformation, but ... no, you are wrong on two counts.

  • First, France has a ban on wearing burqas in public. There is no problem with wearing a burqa in a holiday flat.
  • Second, the owner states that he refuses service to women who are 'voilées'. In French, this does not mean women wearing burqas; this means women wearing headscarves. So he is refusing service to all Muslim women, not just those in burqas.

If the owner believed that it was illegal for him to rent his holiday flat to Muslim women, he presumably would have said so. Instead, he said that he doesn't rent to Muslims because it makes the neighbours uncomfortable.

RACISM.

It may be religious discrimination, but it is not racism.

BossMadam · 14/08/2024 00:20

Scirocco · 13/08/2024 23:47

It's discrimination to refuse to provide a service to someone on the basis of disliking something about their religion, though.

Where is the Qur’an does it say women must wear the burqa, a veil or even a hijab?

Businesses are free to refuse entry to anyone, let alone on their private property, as long as they are not discriminating under the Equality Act. I assume that France’s has similar laws?

MoodyMargaret11 · 14/08/2024 00:20

cassandre · 14/08/2024 00:14

Honestly I don't know why I'm still bothering to correct the misinformation, but ... no, you are wrong on two counts.

  • First, France has a ban on wearing burqas in public. There is no problem with wearing a burqa in a holiday flat.
  • Second, the owner states that he refuses service to women who are 'voilées'. In French, this does not mean women wearing burqas; this means women wearing headscarves. So he is refusing service to all Muslim women, not just those in burqas.

If the owner believed that it was illegal for him to rent his holiday flat to Muslim women, he presumably would have said so. Instead, he said that he doesn't rent to Muslims because it makes the neighbours uncomfortable.

RACISM.

Absolutely this!
Thank you for clarifying again.
Just to add one more thing, if it was about the Law why would he say "not welcome in this neighbourhood" - that can only be interpreted one way, plain and simple racist.

cassandre · 14/08/2024 00:17

Crossposted with Scirocco. Exactly!

Scirocco · 14/08/2024 00:15

Oodiks · 13/08/2024 23:55

The holiday is in France, where there is a burka ban, and the owner refuses service to burka wearing families.

There's no reference to burkas in the messages. The owner is indicating that he refused service to women who were 'veiled', which is a term used in France to describe hijab (not burkas). He then asked if the OP was Muslim as 'visible' signs of this would lead to being refused entry. He has also expressed a view that the OP could be English or Muslim but not both, which is wrong in itself. That's different from having something in booking information like "Due to France's laws around face coverings and full body-covering swimwear in public spaces, and areas of this property being classed as public spaces, this property may not be suitable for anyone who needs or chooses to cover their face in public or who needs or chooses to wear full body-covering swimwear. We apologise for any inconvenience."

By indicating that he would not provide a service on the basis of religion, the man does appear to be discriminating against that religion. The extent to which the booking agency and others might consider that unacceptable or even illegal would be up to them to determine. Racial discrimination and religious discrimination are still offences in France (even if several major pieces of legislation do in themselves discriminate against some minority groups).