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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think this is fucking crazy

436 replies

itstheendoftheworldasweknowitnow · 13/08/2024 15:46

We’re en route to a holiday rental in France. I wasn’t sure if the pool was shared or not between other guests so emailed the owner to ask. This is his reply - which I put in to google translate
Could you tell me if sharing the swimming pool with us who occupy the ground floor bothers you and for what reason? Recently we refused the rental because the wife and the two young daughters were veiled; are you english or muslim? We do not want you to make the trip and see yourself refused access to our property for reasons of displaying religious beliefs which are very resented by the neighborhood.

Fuck Fuck Fuck
What the hell do I do?
I am not a Muslim.
I am also not a racist.

OP posts:
Nanny0gg · 13/08/2024 17:30

Technonan · 13/08/2024 16:00

There are some strict laws on secularity in France, and conspicuous religious dress is not popular. It's banned in schools and the civil service. France is home to one of the largest Muslim and Jewish populations in Europe and they've had some serious problems with extremism from Muslim groups (probably triggered by Israels invasion of Gaza).

You could reply and say you do not wear religious dress of any kind, but you have no issues with people who do. Or you could decide that the attitude of the landlord )and the area) make it impossible for you to stay there. It really has to be up to you.

To be pragmatic, they're on the way,

Where else are they going to stay?

silverjackal · 13/08/2024 17:28

I don't see an issue. He's asked a relevant question to make sure you won't be breaking the French laws.

CountessWindyBottom · 13/08/2024 17:26

I think the world over, and particularly in parochial, rural areas where there is next to no ‘outsiders’ you are going to find racism and xenophobia. It’s borne of a place of ignorance and intolerance.

I don’t think he should have been spouting this bilge as the idea of renting out a holiday property is that any property should be open to all ethnicities and denominations so he’s a bit thick to have even engaged in this conversation. What if you were Muslim? Now THAT would be an even worse start to your vacation.

I would go and enjoy the vacation. I would exchange pleasantries and say how marvellous the property/pool is and I would then write a review. I doubt very much you’ll get anywhere with Booking.com as they’re cheapskates but a review would be cathartic and a good way of warning people off him and his shitty views on an entire religion (bar the right wing contingent obviously!)

BargingOnBy · 13/08/2024 17:25

AngelusBell · 13/08/2024 17:22

I really hate racism but I wouldn’t disappoint my children by cancelling the holiday en route. I would do all in my power to make sure this property disappears from the listings afterwards. Being racist comes at a price.

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You hate racism but only if standing up to it doesn’t come at a price to you?

TomeTome · 13/08/2024 17:25

I’d ignore his nonsense and text again asking if the pool is shared or for sole use of your family.

AngelusBell · 13/08/2024 17:24

PeachyKeane · 13/08/2024 17:22

So you'll stay in his place, thinking he's a racist, then you'll dob him in.

Actually think this is pretty shitty behaviour tbh. Think you should do one or the other.

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He should make clear in his listing that he’s racist, then people can make an informed choice before booking.

Boopbops · 13/08/2024 17:23

Is it because there was a veil ban and the owners do not want to get in trouble with the authorities ?

AngelusBell · 13/08/2024 17:22

holju · 13/08/2024 17:19

Exactly- you don't really hate racism if you're not prepared to sacrifice your nice middle class holiday in France to make a stand against it.

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I really hate racism but I wouldn’t disappoint my children by cancelling the holiday en route. I would do all in my power to make sure this property disappears from the listings afterwards. Being racist comes at a price.

PeachyKeane · 13/08/2024 17:22

itstheendoftheworldasweknowitnow · 13/08/2024 17:17

I think that we will get there and meet them. I speak reasonable French and I will get a sense of them. I will absolutely report them - it’s not ok - I did think of cancelling but seems a bit rough on the kids. Ugh. Horrible situation. X

So you'll stay in his place, thinking he's a racist, then you'll dob him in.

Actually think this is pretty shitty behaviour tbh. Think you should do one or the other.

notimagain · 13/08/2024 17:22

"the neighbours won't like it" is "I'm not racist, but...". I mean, honestly, the neighbours can go fuck themselves.

Have you ever lived in a French commune?

If the neighbors are the mayor or related to the mayor that might not be the best attitude to take.

It is entirely possible (though unlikely) the gite owner is a card carrying member of “the be kind to everybody” brigade but if they pee off local officialdom then they will get serious grief long after the OP has gone home.

voiceofastar · 13/08/2024 17:22

itstheendoftheworldasweknowitnow · 13/08/2024 17:08

I know, I know….
Principles or money - but also it’s rural Provence and who am I to bring my London values etc etc
BUT I hate racism.
BUT I want my holiday.

it’s not a great position to be in.

I think you should go home OP.

What if staff in restaurants you plan on eating in have views you disagree with? The supermarket staff? The boulanger? The other guests? Whatever will you do?

Totallymessed · 13/08/2024 17:22

holju · 13/08/2024 17:19

Exactly- you don't really hate racism if you're not prepared to sacrifice your nice middle class holiday in France to make a stand against it.

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Absolutely. The OP could be said to be tacitly endorsing it if she doesn't turn round and go home. A difficult situation.

Viviennemary · 13/08/2024 17:22

Aquamarine1029 · 13/08/2024 15:53

Get to the rental, forget about the email, and enjoy your holiday.

I agree. There are different laws in France. It won't affect you so don't give it another thought.

BargingOnBy · 13/08/2024 17:20

holju · 13/08/2024 17:19

Exactly- you don't really hate racism if you're not prepared to sacrifice your nice middle class holiday in France to make a stand against it.

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100% correct.

BargingOnBy · 13/08/2024 17:20

itstheendoftheworldasweknowitnow · 13/08/2024 17:17

I think that we will get there and meet them. I speak reasonable French and I will get a sense of them. I will absolutely report them - it’s not ok - I did think of cancelling but seems a bit rough on the kids. Ugh. Horrible situation. X

Shouldn’t you cancel to set an example to your kids that racism shouldn’t be tolerated?

Ghosttofu99 · 13/08/2024 17:19

Let us know what happens op.

holju · 13/08/2024 17:19

EI12 · 13/08/2024 16:59

This is one of very few examples when virtue-signalling comes at a price, if you want to cancel. (Usually virtue-signalling is cost-free or even beneficial).

Exactly- you don't really hate racism if you're not prepared to sacrifice your nice middle class holiday in France to make a stand against it.

Ourshoddyhouse · 13/08/2024 17:19

beanii · 13/08/2024 17:08

I don't see the problem unless you're Muslim?

You haven't actually said 🤷🏻‍♀️

If you're not then can't see a problem.

The owner has the right to allow or decline guests as he pleases.

Second to last sentence on the OP

Pickled21 · 13/08/2024 17:19

It's up to you and since they have your money, if you can't get a refund in your case I'd likely go. I am muslim though and don't wear a headscarf. I wouldn't piss on him if he was on fire.

Totallymessed · 13/08/2024 17:18

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Oh for god sake, could we just have a reasonably adult discussion? This isn't twitter/x.

Original poster
itstheendoftheworldasweknowitnow · 13/08/2024 17:17

I think that we will get there and meet them. I speak reasonable French and I will get a sense of them. I will absolutely report them - it’s not ok - I did think of cancelling but seems a bit rough on the kids. Ugh. Horrible situation. X

OP posts:
GiddyNavyJoker · 13/08/2024 17:17

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 13/08/2024 17:04

That's a good point, (!)

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Plenty of men get circumcised for scientific reasons and not religious reasons.

LaeralSilverhand · 13/08/2024 17:17

"Récemment nous avons refusé la location car l'épouse et les deux jeunes filles étaient voilées; êtes-vous anglaise ou musulmane?
Nous ne souhaitons pas que vous effectuiez le déplacement et vous voir voir refuser l'accès à notre propriété pour des raisons d'affichage de convictions religieuses très mal ressenties par le voisinage."

This is not about the pool - he recently refused entry to the rental as the wife and two young children were veiled. It's a private rental and nothing to do with the ban on head coverings in public places. He's a massive racist and his neighbours likely are too.

Was this booked on AirBnB? You can take it up with them, and leave a 1 star review warning that the host is racist.

Adviceneeeeded · 13/08/2024 17:16

@beanii it's almost like you don't have a clue what you are talking about.

Wendysfriend · 13/08/2024 17:15

You messaged to find out if the pool is shared and he went off on a tangent about the religion of previous guests ?

Does he live at the property? Is the 'sharing with us on the ground floor' mean him ?

Sounds like an idiot, tbh if I could avoid him I would, it's unfortunate that you found out enroute that he's like this, TBF most of us book places not knowing if the owners are racists or not.