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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think the amount of SMP is entirely unreasonable?

310 replies

SMPWTF · 13/08/2024 15:02

I knew the amount prior to TTC but only now at 6 months pregnant is it actually registering.

£184 a week, and it’s taxed. If it weren’t taxed the amount would be £736 for a 4 week month.

How is this even close to enough?

DH and I earn similarly, respected careers but we’ll never be millionaires. Our household bills for our small semi-detached home are just over one of our whole salaries.

I understand that in the ideal you’d save up for maternity leave, but in practice that’s difficult for most people. The start up costs for preparing for baby are very expensive. We have been lucky to have been gifted a lot of big ticket items but even so the costs still add up fast. I can’t imagine even trying to save anything for a second maternity leave if you’re paying childcare fees for your toddler - probably one of the reasons we’ll be one and done.

I don’t think working people should have to save for years per child they have. Nor do I think people should only have children if they can afford to live on one income, because then we create a society where only either end of the wealth spectrum find themselves in a position to start and grow families.

No wonder couples are having fewer or no children.

Why can’t women be paid at least 50% of their wage? So many companies offer 6-12 months full sick pay, so why are so many still reluctant to meet this offer for parental leave?

OP posts:
Spectre8 · 13/08/2024 15:55

SMPWTF · 13/08/2024 15:45

Absolutely, or women who want to or are by circumstance doing it alone!

In our case my DHs wage will cover all of our bills, a few hundred pounds of mine will have to add to it for the likes of fuel and subscriptions we have. So technically we could get by on his wage, except we couldn’t for very long, because we need savings, all 3 of us need clothes, relatives need birthday presents, we need funds for the small joys of life such as getting the occasional coffee out when meeting a friend or a trip to the coast for fish and chips.

Relatives do not NEED birthday presents though. So you could save some money by cutting out unecessary expenditures

Why work for a company that offers crap maternity pay? Many offer much more so why did you choose not to move jobs in preparation for having a child?

Gogogo12345 · 13/08/2024 15:54

mitogoshi · 13/08/2024 15:23

Maternity leave was only 6 months long when I had mine, babies coped just fine in nurseries or you did what I did and took a career break. By the smp is below the taxation threshold so you won't be paying tax if you have no other income.

Honestly, you are choosing to have children, we've always needed to make sacrifices, it used to be quitting work entirely

16 weeks I think when my eldest was born. She was in nursery at 3 months

KatieB55 · 13/08/2024 15:53

I also think it's sad. You are doing the most important job looking after your baby.

ApplesOrangesBananas · 13/08/2024 15:52

Mine did 6 months full pay or a year half pay. DH got one month full pay separately (which was very generous from what I understand)

annahay · 13/08/2024 15:50

I agree. And it's having an effect on the age that people decide to have children, and the number of children they choose to have. It's better for children to be with a parent for longer, and it's better for society if we have enough children. We need a drastic rethink.

Worrywartandall · 13/08/2024 15:49

SMPWTF · 13/08/2024 15:41

It is. The sad thing is as much as people will say ‘having children is a choice’ if people have less children/choose to be child free because taking the first year off with them is prohibitively expensive, it affects all of us.

definitely!

plus that argument also overlooks the fact that we need people to have children, we have an aging population, we need babies born (as a country)

the choice aspect also over looks those who fall pregnant by accident or less than stellar circumstances and can’t access termination services, either due to lack of availability, finding out too late or for personal belief.

there’s also the developmental part for babies that maybe at 6 months old should they be at nursery or would it be better for them to be at home?

there’s also the cost of nursery, even with the new funding, a 6 month old wouldn’t be eligible for funded hours, they’d be full fee paying which is also cost prohibitive for many?

so what’s the alternative, women being coerced into abortions they don’t fundamentally want? That’s pretty dire if you ask me.

SMPWTF · 13/08/2024 15:48

OneCoolPearlOP · 13/08/2024 15:46

I thought you could claim UC as well? So not just SMP.
The amount is very low, yes but equally the ones staying childfree IME are those who can actually afford it, they just don't see the point

We’re just above the threshold on DHs income alone despite only earning the average UK wage each. If I quit my job entirely we probably could claim something but I’m not willing to do that as I enjoy working and know how important it is that I am also earning

OP posts:
SMPWTF · 13/08/2024 15:46

RealSryo · 13/08/2024 15:44

@SMPWTF it is very sad. I still think that is good in the context of how things still are. But agree it’s shit. I barely factored in SMP as it didn’t touch the sides. Forcing children into extortionate childcare settings at six months is abhorrent.

That’s true. I agree with you :( they don’t even know they’re a different person from their mum really at that age, do they.

OP posts:
OneCoolPearlOP · 13/08/2024 15:46

I thought you could claim UC as well? So not just SMP.
The amount is very low, yes but equally the ones staying childfree IME are those who can actually afford it, they just don't see the point

SMPWTF · 13/08/2024 15:45

RealSryo · 13/08/2024 15:42

@TinyYellow not meant to, but it should. op is literally furthering the human race. Depressing that women are still treated like shit.

Before you say ‘what about the partner’s wage.’… let’s not go into how unreliable and financially abusive many men can be.

Absolutely, or women who want to or are by circumstance doing it alone!

In our case my DHs wage will cover all of our bills, a few hundred pounds of mine will have to add to it for the likes of fuel and subscriptions we have. So technically we could get by on his wage, except we couldn’t for very long, because we need savings, all 3 of us need clothes, relatives need birthday presents, we need funds for the small joys of life such as getting the occasional coffee out when meeting a friend or a trip to the coast for fish and chips.

OP posts:
turtlestarlight · 13/08/2024 15:45

I only qualified for maternity allowance first time and then SMP but at less than full rate second time. I missed out on the very much more generous workplace terms both times as for different reasons I couldn't return to work straight away.

You can either waste your time thinking about all the people getting lots more mat pay and how unfair this is, or you can just be happy you have got free money for looking after your baby.

RealSryo · 13/08/2024 15:44

SMPWTF · 13/08/2024 15:42

It’s sad isn’t it. I don’t think I was clear, I don’t have 6 months full. It probably works out at 6 months at about 75% then goes to statutory for me.

@SMPWTF it is very sad. I still think that is good in the context of how things still are. But agree it’s shit. I barely factored in SMP as it didn’t touch the sides. Forcing children into extortionate childcare settings at six months is abhorrent.

RealSryo · 13/08/2024 15:42

TinyYellow · 13/08/2024 15:41

It’s not meant to provide everything, it’s to add to your savings and your partners wage.

@TinyYellow not meant to, but it should. op is literally furthering the human race. Depressing that women are still treated like shit.

Before you say ‘what about the partner’s wage.’… let’s not go into how unreliable and financially abusive many men can be.

SMPWTF · 13/08/2024 15:42

RealSryo · 13/08/2024 15:41

@SMPWTF its horrific. Remember women and children are the less important members of society - that’s why it’s how it is.

Not that you should have to be grateful for 6 months full pay but that is at the high paying end so try to take some comfort in that if you can. Many of my friends had six weeks (!!) full pay.

It’s sad isn’t it. I don’t think I was clear, I don’t have 6 months full. It probably works out at 6 months at about 75% then goes to statutory for me.

OP posts:
SMPWTF · 13/08/2024 15:41

Worrywartandall · 13/08/2024 15:39

this is giving ‘mortgage rates were 14% in my day’

It is. The sad thing is as much as people will say ‘having children is a choice’ if people have less children/choose to be child free because taking the first year off with them is prohibitively expensive, it affects all of us.

OP posts:
TinyYellow · 13/08/2024 15:41

It’s not meant to provide everything, it’s to add to your savings and your partners wage.

RealSryo · 13/08/2024 15:41

@SMPWTF its horrific. Remember women and children are the less important members of society - that’s why it’s how it is.

Not that you should have to be grateful for 6 months full pay but that is at the high paying end so try to take some comfort in that if you can. Many of my friends had six weeks (!!) full pay.

Worrywartandall · 13/08/2024 15:39

mitogoshi · 13/08/2024 15:23

Maternity leave was only 6 months long when I had mine, babies coped just fine in nurseries or you did what I did and took a career break. By the smp is below the taxation threshold so you won't be paying tax if you have no other income.

Honestly, you are choosing to have children, we've always needed to make sacrifices, it used to be quitting work entirely

this is giving ‘mortgage rates were 14% in my day’

Worrywartandall · 13/08/2024 15:38

Ginmonkeyagain · 13/08/2024 15:11

Many companies do offer enhanced maternity pay. Dod you not check your company policy before deciding to have a baby?

My company offers 20 weeks at full pay and 19 weeks at 50% pay and then an additional 13 weeks unpaid (although people often save and use their accrued annual leave for some of this period).

Edited

Surely you’re aware that what your company offer is not the norm though right, my company has an enhanced package that’s 26 weeks full pay then 13 weeks smp and then 13 unpaid. And that’s a good package, most enhanced packages still default to smp. Your company is the exception, not the rule

YaWeeFurryBastard · 13/08/2024 15:36

OptimismvsRealism · 13/08/2024 15:17

Wait until you find out how much the state pension is

What a silly comment. The state pension is loads more, people have way more time to save and there are massive tax advantages to paying into a pension!

OP I really sympathise, I’m lucky I have a husband who earns well and a decent maternity package. I don’t know how others manage, it’s sad.

HeadacheOlympics · 13/08/2024 15:32

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines - previously banned poster.

Reugny · 13/08/2024 15:31

SMPWTF · 13/08/2024 15:15

Mine do offer an enhanced policy (not anything close to full pay mind) but I think all of these policies should go beyond 6 months. 6 month old babies shouldn’t have to be in nursery.

The companies and organisations that only offer SMP, someone needs to do those jobs.

That's why you also check what the other parent gets and if they get full or more pay for a longer period, then you make them take the rest of the weeks.

BTW I only got SMP while my DP got an enhanced period which he started before she was 6 months.

Tippexy · 13/08/2024 15:26

OptimismvsRealism · 13/08/2024 15:17

Wait until you find out how much the state pension is

The state pension is much more than SMP.

The mortgage still has to be paid on SMP.

What a peculiar comment to make.

Houseplanter · 13/08/2024 15:24

How much do you think is reasonable and for how long?

I know it's hard but if you're going to have to work then realistically any longer than 6 months isn't essential. It would be nice of course, but is it essential?

mitogoshi · 13/08/2024 15:23

Maternity leave was only 6 months long when I had mine, babies coped just fine in nurseries or you did what I did and took a career break. By the smp is below the taxation threshold so you won't be paying tax if you have no other income.

Honestly, you are choosing to have children, we've always needed to make sacrifices, it used to be quitting work entirely

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