The absolute sheer joy of ageing

Great thread @KatParr

I'm mid-50s and have a rheumatoid condition which means I'm very creaky but I still bloody love it! I've never felt more myself and content in who I am. A few years post-menopausal now and survived the peri bit, which had its share of grim moments.

Am more aware that nothing stays the same, so if things are great, I am making the most of them and if things are a bit shit, I know it won't last.

I still work and don't always enjoy it and one of my adult DC has autism and I'm not sure when they'll leave home, if ever. However, I've discovered that there is gratitude to be had for small things and that helps oil my mental wheels. I'm also researching and investigating Buddhism and finding it resonates with me, which personally helps me too.

Most of the time I feel like aging is a tremendous privilege that didn't belong to the majority of humans preceding us. I have access to better and more varied food than pretty much any generation before me and even my modest home is more comfortable and technologically equipped than any generation before me either. Long may it last.

I sort of never had any attention from men and am quite glad of it, so no difference there, but I am definitely caring less what people in general think.

If someone made a rude comment to me online in the past I'd get all upset and now I'm like 'Huh, it's just a person on the internet' or I'd dwell on it if someone was rude to me in public and worry I must have done something to upset them whereas now I'm 'Well, there's a dickhead I'll never see again'

I finding it really interesting to see how I'm aging tbh. There's no reason I have to look younger than I am, so I don't have any sadness about it. And my aunt died of cancer at 39, and one of my mum's best friends at a similar age, so I can appreciate the privilege of having got to be older.

I need this chat!! 45 and struggling, but got two primary aged DC and work full time so life is hectic. Not sure if peri has made itself known yet but definitely experiencing more anxiety. Hate that my looks are going, I am so wanting to make my peace with it though as I know ten years down the line I'll wish I had appreciated what I had!

As others have said, it's reassuring to hear it gets better as sadly I'm not loving my 40s yet.

I hate it. Im 64 and had to give up work a year ago to look after my severely disabled daughter as finding care was impossible . Im trying my absolute hardest to eat well, stay fit , but i don't have time to myself often. My body and my brain are so tired, and my joints ache, I feel weak and struggle to get up sometimes . I’m lonely and cant see a way out . I suppose I’m depressed ! 64 isn't that old but I feel about 90, all I can think is that its all downhill from here. I can’t tell you how hard I am trying to improve things but I’m exhausted .
Bonus though, went through menopause without realising, thank you Mirena coil !

I totally agree. I'm 50 next year. I've been peri for a while but actually the last few months I feel amazing.
And no I don't mean I've no aches & pains cos I've plenty of those, but I just suit myself & it's so liberating!
I'm not on HRT but I take Menopace plus & I've also started going to a local pool every morning at 6:15 before work & I've noticed my joints have improved, my sleep has improved, my brain fog has improved, my anxiety is gone.
I've never had hot flushes or night sweats so can't comment on those but definitely mind set is so much better.
And funnily enough, since I stopped caring about what others think of me, I've actually made more friends & got more attention (lol not loads but I think the confidence definitely makes a difference). I'm a size 18, 49 year old woman who's almost completely gone grey & loves her food so it's not that I'm a stunner or anything hahaha

Then you come out the other side and it's all the joys of what the OP says and no periods.

I’m 50 and as happy as I’ve ever been! 😃

I had an awful time in my 40s being peri, anxiety, insomnia etc, but my children were both teens then as well.

Now that has passed, children left home, no mortgage, better financially, life is definitely much calmer.

I'm about the same age as you, and I'm so much calmer and more contented with life

I thought my 40s were the best decade ever, but 50s are even better

Hear, hear!

Brilliant posts.
Not caring what anyone thinks, not giving a shit about men, not taking shit, taking care of yourself for yourself.
Shame about the younger years, this only came to me when I hit 42, but fiercely.
👏

Does this all happen post peri? I’m 43, in peri, on HRT but struggling. I reckon I could be suitably independent and embrace ageing if I only I had some energy! I don’t have kids either so it’s definitely peri.

Yes absolutely agree with this. I'm 59 and a dog walker. I know lots of people through dog walking, men and women and I chat with them all, sometimes walk with them if they're going the same way. The great thing is that I don't have to worry whether the men think I fancy them or vice versa.

46 here and I genuinely believe you!

One of the best bits is being able to talk to anyone without worrying what they think about you, or men thinking you're coming on to them.

I find I am a lot more fulsome in my praise of people as I am no longer worried if people like me or not.

I had a similar epiphany whilst I was away last weekend.
Periods have become irregular at 45 but of course I woke up to a bastard of one on Friday morning.

The only dark item of clothing I had was dark blue denim shorts.
I was hot and sweaty so hair was not behaving and there was no point putting makeup on.

I went out drinking and dancing wearing shorts, t-shirt and flip flops, hair in a bun with not a scrap of makeup on.
Had a fantastic time and danced until 3 in the morning whilst not giving a single shit that I wasn't done up and was dressed far more casually than every single person I came across and none of them gave a fuck either.

I’m only 43 and haven’t cared what people thought about me really for at least ten years. But there is something else with age, a sort of confidence that k can deal with whatever gets chucked at me. It’s good!

Couldn't agree more, I am 59, through the menopause (and it was fine) and life is good.

This thread has made me smile. I'm 41 and am just in the bit of recognising that I'm wrinklier and fatter than I was, and therefore am becoming more and more invisible. At the same time, I'm realising how there's a freedom to that, and how I don't need to battle with my own body to be thin/look young. So thank you for posting this!

67 and yeah, life's pretty damn good. Short of money, husband in a nursing home so I visit every day, but the rest of the time is my own and I'm living my best life.

Definitely with you in the going less of a shit about a lot and also more willing to speak up for myself. Without wishing to get into a semantics debate about the origins of the term Karen, which I loathe, it's certainly true that the idea of an assertive middle aged woman seems to upset a lot of people, hence the term being used in perfectly reasonable scenarios where the woman is not being rude or entitled but asking for a level of service promised or whatever.
Physically I'd like to be more supple but I think when my kids are grown and I have more me time, yoga or Pilates will help with that, ditto money!! It's definitely not something to be feared though.

Just you wait till your body starts to fail - it is shit.

I'm 38 so not young young, and haven't given a flying fuck what people think of me for years🤣 totally agree that you shouldn't wait to start, liberating as hell 😁

That’s amazing.

I do wonder is it only age, or also where you are in life too?

As in, it’s easier to not ’care what men think’ if you are settled.

You ’won’t care’ how people judge your lifestyle, but if you live in a ’correct’ way (spouse, kids, a house) people won’t really judge.

So is it more age or lifestyle that is freeing.