The absolute sheer joy of ageing

Not for everyone. I'm 58 and it hasn't really bothered me tbh. I'm on hrt and nothing much has changed.

55 here, and loving it! Less stress about how I look/dress (although feel happier than ever with how I look these days) and far less bothered about saying the things I want to say, so I'm more likely to stand up for myself. Nothing much scares me any more, I've been through some horrible things over the years and I figure I'm tougher than I thought I was. I discovered athletics eight years ago as well and I think that's made a huge difference 👍

This post is really lovely !
I’ve been on both sides of the coin so can see it from both sides !
At 44 I started peri and was diagnosed with psoriatic arthritis and then the pandemic hit and it really changed me ! I felt low depressed fat and fed up !
But my arthritis then went into remission and it was like a light 💡 moment u need to sort yourself out otherwise u will be in a pickle !
I quit smoking it’s been a whole year now and joined a healthy eating plan and I have now lost the 3stone I was carrying extra ! I’m 48 now I feel fabulous and free not quiet post meno yet on hrt ! The best thing ladies is really taking care of yourself and I know it’s easy for me to say but honestly up your protein eat less carbs and eat loadsa veggies and fruit ! I feel on top of the world and I never thought I’d feel myself ever again ! I also sacked of any toxic people I had in my life as well x

I'm 48 and loving it too OP! Can't wait to be 50. In peri and just counting down the days till i don't have any more fucking periods! I've found it's got a lot more important to eat well. stay active, take vitamins and minerals - I get very tired if I don't get enough iron - and sleep well. I think one of the most important things though is to have plans and things to look forward to.

You aren't alone. I am thw same hit peri and diagnosed with adenomyosis, fibroids and most debilitating vaginal atrophy for 6 months and I am full of anxiety.

HRT is helping but not all of it and I have younger children.

44 is not what I thought it would be

Ah, mate. I’m sorry you feel like this. In my experience (bit older than you) this improves. You accept and adjust and find the freedom.

(Also a previously good looking fatty)

Post menopause here, and on whole I agree. The aging parent bit can fuck off though.

One immense joy is when oestrogen diminishes, so does the urge to placate men or put up with their bullshit for a single moment (if this was ever you).
You don’t have to waste mental space hoping/worrying that men fancy you. All that biological imperative to reproduce - gone! So freeing. It’s like you meet your true self.

I’m 50 and hate it. My age has made no difference to whether I give a shit or not, in fact I’m more measured and less fiery than I used to be. I lack focus, can’t speak properly, anxious and tired (and that’s with HRT). Joints starting to twinge and my face makes me want to weep. I never thought I was vain but I’m a fatty and my face was all I had. Only just realised I was quite attractive and never knew it.

I feel the weight of lost youth and missed opportunities. And the feeling that time is fast running out. Scared of getting ill. The only good thing is I’ve addressed my diet and upped my activity.

My life looks good from the outside my I feel really low. I wish I could channel getting old and loving it 🙁. I’m not depressed as I am happy with my DC, family and friends. It’s just the ageing that is getting me down.

Thank you so much, I’m sorry to be such a downer , I’m so happy for all of you that have reached such a great stage of life . Just go for it !. I’ll be honest, I’m jealous ! I do have a wonderfully supportive GP, I did come off antidepressants a few months ago because of other heath issues, I think I need to go back on , they do help: I have given up a lot of my life for her, which I don't regret, but it’s all hitting home a bit now.
Thank you for your kind words, sometimes just a bit of sympathy is all thats needed.

"As in, it’s easier to not ’care what men think’ if you are settled.

You ’won’t care’ how people judge your lifestyle, but if you live in a ’correct’ way (spouse, kids, a house) people won’t really judge."

Nah, a single, childfree 67 year old here, and never been happier. Free as a bird to do as I want now I'm retired.

I planned for a pension from the day I started working - those early years count - and made appropriate economies (whose having a life!). Now I can afford the fancy holidays and have the time to take them.

I really feel I'm at the peak of my happiness. I've made new friends, seen new places, my days are pleasantly full of things I want to do. Life is really sweet as long as my health is good.

I’m sorry you’re having a tough time. You sound like a lovely, selfless mum. It’s good that you’re already trying to be aware of and look after yourself where you can re food and fitness. Can you see the GP about the aching joints and help with potential depression? Sending a hug. XX

This^
all these aches and pains and health issues and then sandwiching between teen children and elderly parents.
I don’t want to be back younger for men’s attention I want my knee and my shoulder not aching😢

I'm fast approaching the big five-oh (literally within a few weeks), and the older i get, the less I care about what people think, their opinions, even remarks.

And it's so refreshing!

I’m in my 30s and already feel like this, I like to look good for myself and don’t care what others think, I’ve accepted that I won’t like everyone in life and they won’t like me etc and I don’t care, I don’t fret over stuff I can’t change or that isn’t in my control

I'm 70 and generally loving life. I'm older but wiser, more resilient and more carefree. My DH is a bit dependent as he has early stage dementia, but otherwise, I do what I want, go where I want, have lots and brilliant friends, hobbies and interests and no longer give a £$%^ about what people think of me, whether I'm attractive to men (who cares!! - men aren't attractive to me anymore) or having to please anyone other myself.

Yes - I have to be careful with money, but we manage fine, I need to wear my reading glasses and a couple of my joints are starting to ache a bit, but otherwise life is pretty good.

Apart from the aches and pains I’m in agreement. I feel free from having to people please. If I don’t want to do something I just say no thanks, no obligation. I care much less about what people think of me. It’s liberating.

Earlyish 60s here.

I have never been particularly interested in my appearance but really don't care much now, in the sense that clean and comfortable are my priorities.

Very uninterested in what other people think about me. Plenty of confidence, so I am generally pleasant, warm, friendly, but won't take shit from anyone.

I treat my health and my body as a project. If I don't care for it, no one else is going to step in. If someone is offended because I won't eat their cake or drink alcohol then that is very much not my problem. "Looks delicious but none for me, thank you".

If it offends people (and I know of two or three people who it does) that I am very fit, very active, slim, then they need to make changes to their lifestyle, putting the effort in, not make snide comments to me. I looked at female relatives who put on weight after the menopause and thought "nope, not doing that." My body, my choice, and yes, it takes daily sustained effort.

Older age also brings the wisdom and experience to put things in perspective. Most stresses or problems wont be so bad in 5 minutes/days/years time. Building up resilience is essential.

Absolutely loving this thread - so joyous and uplifting and such a happy antidote to the usual oppressive bullshit about ageing being nothing but a horrorshow for women. Thank you all from a woman on the cusp of midlife and very ready to embrace this next chapter!

Yes!

I’m 63, retired and feel fantastic. My don’t-give-a-shitmeter off the scale.

Oh yes....I loved my 40s and I feel so happy and free. I can't care what people think of me now. Got tons of friends who feel the same. Husband said the same yesterday... You feel so free!

It gets better honest (HRT helped me immensely and a Mirena). No longer on HRT now and in my 50s I'm losing weight, exercising, going out when I want to and enjoying the not giving a fuck stage.

I also embrace the joy of a nap as and when needed.

I feel the same OP, no longer a people pleaser, more confident, comfortable in my own style and choices etc.

I'm 52 and I love it!
I'm fit and healthy ( touch wood)
My sons are lovely young adults .
I'm where I want to be career wise.