The absolute sheer joy of ageing

I think it’s unusual to feel that fearful of losing youthful looks.

Counselling might help? Or some really tough self reflection on why you feel that way. I’m only suggesting as it’s totally unavoidable (death aside) so it would really benefit you to reframe it?

@Asherrain
You will get there as no matter what you do, your face and body will age.

If you have Botox etc at 50, you will look like a 50 year old who has had Botox.

Just accept it, it's natural and, like I alluded to in my last post, not everyone gets to experience it.

I'm in my 50s and after a difficult peri/menopause phase, I'm out the other side, doing what I want and not giving a dam what others think of me! I'm still recovering from long covid so its not all physically perfect for me but the mental liberation is great!

Fantastic thread.

I'm 55 in a couple of days and I don't like the fact that my looks are going/gone.

But I'm lucky enough to have my health so I'm not complaining.

For me, menopause means losing confidence in certain areas of my life and brain fog but, so far, no hot sweats.

Regarding not giving a shit what other people think...hell, yes!
It's taken a veeery long time but I am finally a Ninja and people-pleasing is a thing of the past. 🥷

I can’t wait!! I’m 34 and feeling the beginnings of my anxious cluelessness starting a painfully slow fade, but I sense it’s not something you can force!

We don't all have bad menopause. I had absolutely no symptoms.

I'm 39, I hate ageing. I hate it so much that I feel genuinely fearful about the future as I think, if I'm this miserable about my appearance now, how will I feel in 10 years.
I wish I could feel liberated like most of you lot.

Thank you . My daughter is mid 30’s and only in the last year have we finally got a respite carer ! She is amazing and is making such a difference already . But 35 years of stress is hard, and the underlying sadness is always there .
But I have to say , go all you ladies , fantastic !

Same and I couldn't agree more!

@Sahara123 lots of sympathy here! Hang in there! Do you have any support and could you get a bit of respite and go on a little break somewhere for a while? Yes, do go back to the GP about the antidepressants, as it sounds like you're having an adverse reaction to having come off them.

Mid 50s here and i love it. I look at the younger generations of women and wouldn't change places with them. I wear what i like, do what i like. I don't need affirmation on anything, wether it's regarding what i wear , how i look after my Grandchildren, what bloody colour of paint i have in my bedroom or how long i can make a cooked chicken last. It is so fantastic.

In my late 60's. Learning to ride an e-bike and having an absolute ball. Don't give a flying fuck who thinks what of me, although the local 10 years old boys have been wonderful down at the play park! Very encouraging and great fun.

Life's fun. I have two dogs to take out and the local dog walking community is wonderful - we all chat - sometimes briefly, sometimes stop for a while but it's all good.

I have a husband in care who I visit and spend as much time as possible with, but the rest of my day is spent well, playing...books, music, bike, dogs, cooking (my choices of food). Wait for it ladies - you'll get here,

I'll be 58 in 10 days time. My children are grown up now and in their twenties. I've got my own life back on that score and DH and I can go on holiday a couple of times a year again without having to be tied to school holidays.

The "children" are pretty much self sufficient now so our money situation is greatly improved.

I also now seem to be through the menopause. Finally. It took until I was 57 and I had some very rough years during that time, but no periods for just over a year now, meaning I am hopeful and it is very liberating.

There are aches and pains and I don't doubt that more will creep in, and I have a very elderly mother, but I am generally happy at this time of my life. I give zero shits about what anyone else thinks about me.

I am 57 now and late to the menopause. I have to say that whilst the mindset is still positive the physical reality for me (niggling but quite far ranging health issues and generally looking a bit older and less svelte) has been unwelcome. I am unenthusiastic about the physical manifestations of aging. I am not complaining at all. I am fortunate to be alive and (relatively) well. But as someone who was never particularly hung up on what other people thought of me or overly concerned about my looks, I suppose it I am honest about it, I would rather be as I was a decade or so ago and have the more robust health that I had as a woman in her 40s.

Yes to this.

Yes. I started at around 25 and it's so freeing.
It helped that I was surrounded by older/wise women who taught me not to give too much of a shit about unnecessary things.

Indeed. I was great in my 40s and early 50s. Then menopause hit with a vengeance and the physical decline now that I'm 66 is marked.

My (female) partner is 68, had a total abdominal hysterectomy aged 46 and now has osteoporosis. She's been on meds for it for some years and it's sort of under control but had a knee replacement in 2018 and now needs a new hip - which is excruciatingly painful at present.

Trust me - once you hit the 'early elderly' phase, it's not quite so joyful.

Imagine if we had this mind set when we were 20? We could have conquered the world.
Or at least not made as many shit decisions.

I'm in my 60s. Dh and I are still happy together and comfortably retired. Our adult children are doing great. I gave my last fuck years ago and now I do what I want when I want how I want. It's wonderful.

Not a problem for everyone. I had a few hot flushes but the fact that I did not have to go through monthly periods and up and downs of hormones more than compensated.
No I wasn’t on hrt, not everyone needs it.

I'm menopausal and with HRT, better diet and exercise it's been not so bad. I've got quite a few health issues anyway so just a few more to add to the list 😁

I am only 41 but def feeling some of this!

I am physically the fittest I have been as an adult and rapidly am caring so much less about what others think.

My daughters tell me I look younger than I am and that I am still "cool" so yay to that as well 🤣

I'm 59 and greet you all from the joys of comfy footwear, elasticated waists and genuinely owning no make up (the last lot died of old age and disuse some time ago).

I'm sorry you're feeling like that, but if it's any consolation, I think 50-ish can a low point for a lot of women and things do improve after. I'm sure I remember reading an article that said the same.

I remember feeling low myself then with work, menopause probably (even though I was lucky and had an easy one). It seems ages until retirement, and one's career is going nowhere. Plus maybe family issues from both the younger and the older generations. It can be tough.

I hope things pick up for you, things certainly did for me.

Thank you to everyone sharing how you’re feeling, I’ve found my people! I definitely care less what people think as I get older but could do without perimenopause increasing my anxiety, especially when I genuinely am not really stressed about anything bar the usual worries! Any suggestions to reduce peri-induced anxiety will be gratefully received!