The absolute sheer joy of ageing

I feel sorry that so many women don’t feel like this until they are older, I have always felt like this.

AllPrincessAnneshorses I agree. I realise it was unusual, and I'm not being smug, but I sailed through mine. Kept myself very fit, ate healthily, and made sure I didn't change shape.

Menopause was fine, thanks. Not everyone has a terrible time.

I love this thread

I find it rather sad that folk are moaning about getting old. Many people don’t get to experience it and people with terminal illnesses would love to be in your shoes. Being old is a privilege. Sorry if this offends anyone.

I've been a yo yo dieter since my teens so I don't identify with the young/slim and old/fat thing at all. I've always been battling with my weight. I'm much thinner now in my 40s than I was during certain phases in my teens/20s/30s.

Physically I'm not a fan of ageing- looking older and having to take better care of my health because bad habits catch up with you. Both of my parents are dead, i'm tired, stuff aches, I'm divorced, two kids with a large age gap. My mum died in her 50s and I have a latent fear the same will happen to me.

There are positives and I do enjoy and embrace my life but there are downsides too.

I'm 63, not as fit as I could be and tired from working full-time and a sad year in which I lost my mother. However there is so much that is good. I feel confident in my professional opinions and expertise. I rarely cry after decades of being a teary mess. I don't dye my hair or wear uncomfortable shoes. I still worry about my young adult children but can see their resilience and amazingness. My relationship with DH feels happy and calm. It's a good time of life and I feel grateful.

I am with you.

I am totally exhausted, have not slept properly for years, feel fat and horrible ( I exercise and do weights/ swimming - plus dog walking). We have less money due to cost of living/ ridiculous vet bills and my DD gives me more anxiety and worry than I ever thought possible!! I cried earlier because the dog was being annoying and I couldn’t cope 😂😂

My job is at risk after 32 years and I am the main breadwinner- I feel invisible and very unhappy despite being on HRT!

I am loving reading the other posts - there maybe light at the end of the tunnel😀

What a brilliant thread! I'm late 50s, and really love not giving a f*ck what anyone thinks about me.
I'm totally happy to be an annoying old woman 🤣
Lucky with menopause, after periods finally stopped 3 years ago.
Haven't seen a doctor for decades - which is probably tempting fate, coz I'm unfit, but it won't matter if I drop dead tomorrow (I say this in a positive way, because I know death isn't something to fear).
No adult kids to worry and stress about, like my friends do - bliss!
Assuming I don't kick the bucket first, I'm looking forward to retiring next year so that I can spend more time on travel, hobbies and things I enjoy. What's not to like?

9% of people have voted YABU. Who gives a shit what they think?😂

This is really interesting, thank you . Are you able to send me a link please .

No longer having periods is the best thing of all.

What has menopause got to do with mindset. ?

This is the real message.

Getting older isn't great, bits of me are failing and I'm tired. I agree that my attitude is so much better but that doesn't need to take 60 years to achieve. Start now young ladies!

I’m in the same position as you with caring but 10 years behind.

l signed up with an online personal trainer to do strength training and it’s brilliant. I can’t get out of the house to go to the gym due to caring so just have a bench and dumbells, I’ve lost 10lbs in weight (because I decided I needed to) and the strength training will help me lift my daughter and her wheelchair. Please think about it - I’d never done anything like it before and it takes some stress away. My daughter sits in the room whilst I work out. I didn’t know it was possible.

I'm glad others on this thread my age feel happy with the lifestage they are at. Wish I could say the same about myself.

I am 45 and lately I feel invisible to men. Separated 3 years, nearly divorced, 2 children with me most of term time, working full time in a tiring corporate job. Feel terribly lonely, no luck with online dating so far (also have very little time to spare to meet people). Everyone I know is playing happy families. Don't know any single men, forget about any who are remotely interested in me. I'm busy all the time and mostly never alone. But so, so lonely.

I love this!

I remember going through puberty and my curiosity about how my body knew what to do, I remember thinking how clever my body was when I gave birth twice and again - it knew what to do. Menopause wasn't easy (stroppy teens and a divorce) but I knew that my body would get me through. I'm fatter and have more aches and pains but I feel liberated now that I'm older.
Still curious about life etc and I hope that I always will be.
Great thread.

I'm getting older (mid sixties) and this is me. How many fucks do you think I give now? It's a great life once you have your faculties and reasonable mobility/good health. This poem says it for me....

When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat that doesn't go, and doesn't suit me,
And I shall spend my pension
on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals,
and say we've no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I am tired,
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells,
And run my stick along the public railings,
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick the flowers in other people's gardens,
And learn to spit.
You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat,
And eat three pounds of sausages at a go,
Or only bread and pickle for a week,
And hoard pens and pencils and beer mats
and things in boxes.
But now we must have clothes that keep us dry,
And pay our rent and not swear in the street,
And set a good example for the children.
We will have friends to dinner and read the papers.
But maybe I ought to practise a little now?
So people who know me
are not too shocked and surprised,
When suddenly I am old
and start to wear purple!

Jenny Joseph

Hear hear

It’s odd isn’t it? I turned 40 and I suddenly stop giving a shit what people thought and just started doing what I wanted. I don’t mean I let myself go, or that I became selfish or self-absorbed - I just stopped being anxious about what X thought of me saying Y, or what people might think if I did X. It’s very liberating and I wished I’d done it 15 years earlier.

To those people saying wait till menopause hitting and bodies failing. I’m smack bang in the middle of menopause, it’s not a given that it’s shit. I’ve also had periods of serious ill health / body not working, I’ve felt beaten but made a decision to control what I can. That’s what has made me mentally stronger, I’ve changed job, lifestyle, car etc to enable me to do what I want / need to do and it’s left me feeling so much better.

I’m sorry that you’re struggling but please don’t undermine other people’s positive experiences by making assumptions that everyone’s experiences will be the same as yours.

I agree I probably need to find a way to deal with it better. Interestingly I look at some older women and think they look fabulous, well dressed, happy, content. My mum always looks amazing.
But I catch myself in the car window and shudder. I don't think it helps that I've struggled to keep on top of my own needs now I've got small kids. No new clothes, no new makeup etc, so I just feel like a much crapper version of my old self, with added lines too!

I'm 55 and enjoying this time of my life the most. I still care what people think of me, but only those I like and respect, and luckily that seems all good. I also care what I look like and like to be 'attractive' (I'll get my coat!) But the difference is, I actually now think that I am. I find myself able to focus on my good features and not worry about the less than pleasing ones. Also, the bar for being considered good looking at 55 is far lower than at 25, so that helps!