Friend shamed me for feeling exhausted.

2/3 can be tough. But the phrase ‘best mum ever’ stuck out. You already are his best mum ever. You don’t need to do more to get that title than love and take care of him and do usual toddler stuff. Softplay at that age can be a help. I never went through with them. Just pick a toddler appropriate place and watch him, there are mums that run around with their child managing every experience. There’s no need. Let them get on with things in a safe space. Same at home. Interaction is needed but not all the time. They can play while you clean or relax and drink your tea. But you have to teach your child how to do that and not rely on you for constant entertainment. That would be exhausting. It’s just a different way of doing things which is likely why others are not exhausted like you. You’re not wrong and neither are they. Just different ways to do things. But if you’re tired, try getting your child to do things on his own.

Sounds like my life. One high energy DS.
Both working, him long hours, me freelance.
My parents help with childcare, a couple of days.
Playgroup in the mornings.
We’re wrecked… House is a shack.
I don’t know where others get the time (or money) for lovely days out, holidays, date nights, gigs etc…

I found that taking care of my health (weight, fitness) has helped, although that’s hard to keep up at times!

Your friend’s being a dick. And/or has the kind of DC who are temperamentally quiet and compliant and self-sufficient, and can’t understand that any other experience of parenting exists.

I was barely functioning when my DC was 2 and we were both working and all the nursery illnesses were in full flow. Like you, I have a very energetic, very demanding DC who is on all the time. He sleeps better now (he’s nearly 8) but still requires everyone’s constant undivided attention and talks non-stop from 5am to 10pm and it remains difficult to impossible to get anything done when he’s around. (It will likely get much easier than this much more quickly for you - my DC is ND).

The parents of kids who are happy to sit quietly and draw for hours on end are having a much more different experience from other parents than they can ever understand.

Well she right to an extent (because that’s just the reality for you just now) but it’s bloody easy for her to say isn’t it!
She being unnecessarily unkind.

I find most people who behave like her either have things easier (and don’t realise) or aren’t that nice a people anyway or sometimes if it’s out of character have something going on that is affecting them.

either way she obviously can’t comprehend your experience so just ignore her words dont all her to make you feel even worse about things.

oh and this will change, it’s temporary but things will shift.

I dont think anyone knows what they sign up for when they have kids. I certainly didnt. You are not being dramatic, but maybe you are trying to do too much- and if you talk about it every time you see the said friend, maybe they were trying to get you to think about it.
Your frined is either childless or pretends they are bees knees and are just as knackered (or has a LOT of help).
A break is important though, you cant spend every breathing moment being the best mum ever (sorry, I find that a bit annoying, mums who take a break are not worse than those who dont). Maybe your friend was beign annoyed at that phrase, and assumed you are trying to be a martyr for the sake of it/that you were suggesting that mums who relax a bit are not as good mums?

Over the summer I have a babysitter over once a week so I can go out. Kids sometimes sit in front of the tv for a bit, they dont need entertaining every breathing moment. Or I put waterplay up and chill reading a book or watchiing a Netflix show. The balance helps me being a good mum :)

Nope. This is the exhausting phase, it's hard going and if your friend isn't going to be supportive she can fuck right off.

Some children are harder work than others too. Not bad or good, just the way they're made. You just keep on keeping on.