Long story short.....
I had a very difficult upbringing, along with my 2 sisters. Alcoholic father always, alcoholic mother from our teenage years, narcissistic mother, enabling father - you get the picture. Am no contact with my parents for 5 years now. My youngest sister became a drug addict and has had a really difficult life. I'm the eldest and there's two years between me and my next sister...let's call her Terri.
Terri is the person I'm wondering about in the title of this thread. Terri and me don't have a close relationship. We used to. But over time, we have drifted away and are not in communication much, bar the odd letter here and there. I find Terri difficult, demanding, quite like my mother in many ways and also quite bullyish. Hence the reason for our diminished contact.
I'm married and my husband's sister is horrible to me. She belittles me, looks down on me, makes nasty comments to me. I tried to talk to her about it, text her, sent her a bunch of flowers. This took a lot out of me as I'm a lot quieter than her by nature. I'll still chat to people no problem, it is just that she is loud and very conversation dominating. She ignored my text and flower efforts. I then, with the help of my counsellor, wrote her a letter and apologised if I was doing anything that might be upsetting her unbeknownst to myself and asked her if we could draw a line in the sand and move on together as a united family. Again, ignored. I was shocked, upset, embarrassed etc. I've had to be in her company since at family events and she continues to make snide remarks at me, talk badly of me behind my back, slag me off etc. She told my husband that I have "stolen" him from her. I find this to be a very odd statement, given she is 5 years older than him, went to boarding school and then to uni in another part of the country. So he hadn't lived with her since he was 8 years old. I have never, ever prevented him from seeing her or her family and in fact I have always encouraged him to. I try to act like normal, friendly and polite towards her at all times. She has also told my husband that I am a "bad daughter" for being no contact with my parents. Despite all of this, I can't think of a single thing I have ever done to this woman and I am completely flabbergasted by her hostility.
I told my sister Terri about my sister in law's behaviour and how upset I was by it. Two weeks later it was my sister in law's birthday. My sister Terri posted a lengthy birthday message to my sister in law (they don't even know each other too well) saying, "happiest of birthdays Susan. May you have the most wonderful birthday ever and I hope you get spoiled rotten. Lots of love, Terri xxxxxxx" and loads of heart emojis etc plastered all over it.
I was hurt by this as I thought Terri, as my sister, wouldn't champion someone who is hostile towards me. AIBU?