Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Dealing with cold shoulder from new colleagues...

57 replies

BendyWendy24 · 13/08/2024 09:27

More of a what would you do than aibu...

I started a new job 3 weeks ago and whilst most of my colleagues are nice, a couple of them that I share a department with seem to be giving me the cold shoulder. The only thing I think I could have done to offend anyone was in the first week when I used a set of equipment where my colleague came over and said it was hers and not to use it again. We have a range of laptops/tablets etc to use where you just collect a computer before going to work on your own tasks and we each have our own private offices to work in. My line manager showed me where the tech was kept on the first day and told me to help myself, no mention of designated equipment and all equipment is owned by the company. My colleague and her friend (my other colleague) now blanks me 🤷‍♀️

I only really need to say hi and bye to these colleagues, as we work in isolation most of the time, and I always make a point of saying good morning/ bye, how are you etc, but it is usually met with a grunt or one word responses and any passing in the corridor to the staff room is just awkward.

I really needed this job to get back on my feet and plan to be here for some time after having a tough few years caring for a terminally ill relative, but dealing with my colleagues is becoming soul destroying.

How do you deal with this? Do I deal with it or just ignore it? I really don't have the headspace for this at the moment.

OP posts:
Howmanycatsistoomany · 13/08/2024 10:35

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Agree, no need for any drama, OP. Just continue saying good morning/goodbye with a breezy smile; they'll either come around or others will notice they're being twats.

Catza · 13/08/2024 10:34

You only need to say hi/buy to this colleagues. It is hardly "dealing with them". I would continue doing what you are doing and get on with your day. Don' make it a bigger deal than it needs be.
When you bump into them in a corridor, just smile and keep walking. No need to say anything.

GirlMumGabby · 13/08/2024 10:28

Don't give them the satisfaction of grunting at you. Stop saying hello/good morning. They will pick up on that. Make a point of saying hello to the other colleagues that don't act like mean girls. If you have a communal space where you can interact try and make the effort with the others. You will feel much better even if you only have one or two people that engage with you.

DeathByResponsibilities · 13/08/2024 09:52

It's uncomfortable when you've hardly got your feet under the table isn't it.
If it is the equipment thing that would be unfair but people can be unfair.
It could be something else entirely you're not aware of, possibly down to some office politics you don't yet know about.

Either give yourself a pep talk and remind yourself it is something in their mind and not personal so try to observe it in a detached 'oh that's interesting' kind of way 'fancy being cold towards someone you don't even know, glad not everyone takes that approach to life'

Or

Project easy going confidence and take a paths crossing moment to say 'i feel we might have got off on the wrong foot, hope there's no hard feelings, but if I've trodden on any toes while finding my feet it was not intentional. See you in the meeting later (or whatever)'

tamade · 13/08/2024 09:44

Don't worry about it, ignore their attitude and be professional and polite. It doesn't sound like a very sociable set up, if that is what you were looking for after your care giving, maybe give it a few months and move on?

gonetogym · 13/08/2024 09:41

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

gonetogym · 13/08/2024 09:40

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Swipe left for the next trending thread