Dealing with cold shoulder from new colleagues...

To be completely honest with you, I’d recommend for you to find a good counsellor/therapist/mindset coach to help you navigate this and help you figure out how to not let this affect you so much. Saying it is soul destroying to be in this situation, it’s clearly having a big impact on you. Whilst I think they sound rude, and not very kind supportive colleagues. I also know that we have no control over other people’s actions or behaviour towards us, some people are just not for us, and the only thing we can control is our reaction/feelings/how we let ourselves feel & deal with these situations. It will be much better long term to get help with managing your own things than either doing nothing and having your soul destroyed every day, or end up quitting and potentially facing similar problems elsewhere x

👌

Good grief, these comments! All the game playing and ingratiating yourself with the two pathetic characters, please do not make biscuits!

Ask your line manager for clarification about the equipment. Is any of it up for grabs or is some of it designated for specific people?

Remember that you do not have to be friendly with other employees, (although it does make the time pass more pleasantly) but always be professional and polite.

Like fuck would I make someone who is repeatedly and intentionally rude to
me a sodding biscuit! Why not just tattoo “doormat” on your forehead?

Never fails to amaze me how women are brought up to be so people pleasing and wet. Can you imagine a man doing to that to rude bastards at work!

Sorry, had to laugh at the baking biscuits suggestion.
They know they are being low level hostile, and you can't respect someone who kisses your arse, so it would just be demeaning!

Make everyone else biscuits and be generally lovely until they look like utter arses for being cold... If you like the biscuit approach, but trotting round practically with your pinny on to ingratiate yourself would be cringe-tastic.

Far more effective to test them as though they're invisible and focus on people who will give back!

Ignore. Ignore. Ignore. Don’t give them headspace. They probably don’t like you because you are the shiny new toy and they feel threatened by you.

I would ask them outright - 'have i done something to upset you?'...., these pathetic cliquey women really boil my piss

Give it time, focus on doing your job
Observe them from afar you won't be the first person they have been mean to and it's because youre new, it's 'school playground' behaviour pecking order like chickens in a coop. Be friendly but don't try to be their friend keep your distance and your dignity. Do your job well with a smile go home. Work friendships will grow in time but not with them. And that's fine good luck

In the same day of the incident I would have asked my manager for clarification about the equipment. These colleagues are being unprofessional so it’s not worth relying on what they say.

Please have some dignity, and do not bake treats for this pair of arseholes! They will have even less respect for you if they know you're tying yourself in knots trying to win their approval.

Personally I'd keep saying hello as usual, because you want to be seen to be professional and not engaging in any drama. Have a little chuckle to yourself at their predictable response then get on with making friends with decent people.

Keep telling yourself that the problem isn't you, it's them, and you shouldn't take it personally.

It's lucky that you don't work directly with these people and it seems like them not liking you won't have a negative effect on your work, as it might if you had to collaborate in a team. Personally I would go with the solution of continuing to be polite but not the killing with kindness. You want to stay professional - if managers notice anything it should be that you dealt with them in a sensible and polite way and got on with your work. Getting sucked into any drama looks bad. The plan to bring in cookies etc could backfire and end up with more drama.

Agree with @GirlMumGabby entirely. I would not say anything about getting off on wrong foot, they will deny it, and it’s another opportunity to be mean, making you feel even worse.

As others have said the reason they are snubbing you may be nothing to do with “you” as a person there is likely a backstory.

Don't greet them any more, like they have done to you, just blank them, so if you need to discuss anything to do with work just be direct with them.

They will notice a change in your demeanor. Cover yourself by being civil but take no nonsense from them. This way, you can not be pulled up for anything. Also cover yourself regarding the machines ( laptops) speak to a member of staff such as a manager and find out if the machines are designated to certain people or not, if not then use them and any shenanigans from vinegar tits just speak to a manager who should pull them up.

People like those two are like bad eggs, they turn the team sour.

What you don't need when starting a new job is any nutter working against you.

My workplace has started to get a bit like this. Our manager and her favourite team leader have taken against another team leader, to be fair she hasn't helped herself, but she has had a few serious personal issues and they haven't been there for her. They don't know the meaning of duty of care.
They are now not speaking to her and by extension because I get on very well with the person the manager is not bothering with me either. Water off a ducks back for me after nearly 20 years I am retiring soon but it is making it a toxic place to work, staff morale is lower than its ever been.
We can't take it any higher as they are both very good friends with their manager, they all go drinking together so I think my friend will have to move on.

I'd do the opposite, be friendly to everyone. Be the bigger person.

Just ignore it! For people like this I continue to say a simple "Good morning" or "Good bye, have a good evening" but nothing more. Accept that they don't want to be friends, some making an effort beyond the professional work you need to do and concentrate on your job. If you feel a bit put off by it then take up a hobby or find other friends. I find a yoga class on the way home from work, or a walk banishes any lingering feelings until you cope with it better. They sound like a couple of twats, probably old timers who think they own the place and reckon it'll fall apart with out them.

Me to. Might try that irl 😆

I love this 😀 🤣

Perhaps this. But record record record and maybe look for another job in the meantime.

Some workplaces are dominated by pathetic game playing specimens who are so unhappy with their own shitty little wasted lives they relish taking it out on others.

I used to work in a really toxic workplace. No-one spoke to me for months. I just got on with things (It was my first role after retraining and I had to get through a certain period of time). Then it became clear when a new member of staff joined and I heard my line manager (and hers) sniff with a shitty tone; 'Well, she won't last, so I won't waste my time getting to know her'.

I was always friendly. When I finally quit (after 4 years) one of my colleagues wept in my arms and said I was the only person who ever spoke to her.

But it's not you. It's them. Stick it out for as long as you can but look out for better- because you deserve better.

In my head I channel Victoria wood who turned to camera and said in full children’s tv presenter style “well she wasn’t very nice was she boys and girls” 😀😀

I'd go with the killing with kindness...not the baking and stuff but making a point of Hi and bye, have a good weekend, did you have a lovely weekend and big smiles !

I am another one who would go for breezy impersonal greeting in passing on my way.
I have also in the past, very privately in my head nicknamed someone Vinegar Tits. It always made me smile!!

It’s a different dynamic with a neighbour than a work place/

Urgh hate the fawning “bake some biscuits”
responses they will hate you even more
for being a doormat.

Just ignore them. Can’t be personal you’ve barely been there.

Yes, that's a good idea. I used a similar approach on the next door neighbour when she was giving me the silent treatment after I wouldn't agree to them building an extension over the property line.

I always gave her a wave and a smile and asked how her roses were doing, then breezed off, pretending not to notice her lack of response. My relentless cheerfulness and refusal to acknowledge that she was being cold did grind her down eventually. I think she felt silly trying to blank someone who was being friendly.

Now she says hello and chats a bit. Not like she used to, but that's okay. I'm sure she hasn't forgiven me, but it's no longer awkward.