To say no to 16year olds flying alone

YABU.

You drop them off at the airport, they go through security and presumably they'll be able to find their gate by themselves? And then at the other end it's very easy to just get their bags and find their dad

They aren't alone, they are together. They have flown before, so know how airports/immigration works. Assuming you would see them as far as security this end and their dad would collect them at JFK.
It's 8 hours to JFK not 13, though once they're on the plane, I'm not sure how length of flight makes any difference.
Baddies ?? You are letting your anxiety clip their wings in terms of becoming independent.
I would absolutely let them go and hope they see it as an adventure.

My dad lived in Texas when I was a teen and a couple of times I flew on my own, actually on my own, not with a sibling, from when I was 14. Worst that happened, I got questioned at customs about whether 2 bottles of squash were alcohol or not.

“Baddies”, are you for real? Of course they have to go, in fact I think you’d struggle to stop them going if their dad is paying. They will be together, they’re practically adults, they could be parents themselves! And sort your own anxiety out.

Will your ex-husband collect them from the airport? If so, I would let them go.

I can't really see any reason to object to this. They are going to be met by a parent so it's literally just the journey. What could go wrong that you being there could actually have helped? Is it a direct flight? Next year or the year after they might want to do a whole holiday alone, or go to uni or get a job abroad or something. This seems a natural first step.

You need to let them go. 16 is a good age to start forging their independence. It also seems as if they'll need to do this trip frequently if their dd lives in NY.

They'll be fine. They'll board the plane, eat, watch some films, maybe nap and they're there.

As an aside my dc went on a school trip to NY at 15 and whilst I was initially apprehensive about them flying without me they were absolutely fine. Plus it's done wonders for their confidence.

Years ago our 8 year old flew on her own to the US. The following year she took her younger brother. Two 16 year olds together? Of course they should go.

Let them go. It's not 13 hours.

A compromise could be their dad meets them at the airport the other end and you take them to the airport this end. Then they’re just in airports and a plane by themselves. Very high security areas. You need to unclench on this one.

And if the return flight is cancelled or delayed, their dad lives in America so I assume he would help

If you would be ok with them eg going to France I don't see much difference, yes, the plan journey is longer but they would be sitting in their seats probably watching films and there are loads of adults/cabin crew around.

Do a bit of problem solving with them before they go eg what would they do if their flight was delayed/lost something etc etc. - don't give them the answers and they will probably surprise and reassure you

Let them do it! As others have said, by 16 and with both of them together, they should be fine and have a whale of a time. A great experience and opportunity for them.

Unsurprising that there’s sulking going on. They’ll be absolutely fine.

Where did 13 hours come from?!

Stop keeping them tied to your apron strings, let them go, woman!! They’re 16 and are travelling together. My kids have travelled intercontinental on planes since they were 12. You need to let them go or they will leave you and you’ll be the controlling one.

Mumsnet Miracle Thread alert
All posters in agreement.

Make yourself a nice strong coffee and have it with a croissant op. Big breaths.

@Stopandlook

At 16 they are not minors for airline tickets, you can fly as an unaccompanied minor from age 5!

London to JFK is about eight hours, not 13, and they have an ESTA, an American father and a return ticket, so immigration problems unlikely. No need whatsoever for the airport at either end to be a ‘palaver’. If you don’t think they can handle check-in themselves, stick around and supervise at LHR. They’re not changing flights, so a cancellation just means they come home, they’re not going to be stranded anywhere…?

London to JFK is about 6.5 hours not 13.

It is a direct flight and I assume their dad will meet them at JFK? If they have an ESTA then immigration will be fine - long and annoying but fine!

If you drop them at Heathrow there is very little that can go wrong, boarding planes once you get past check in is simply a matter of following instructions.

How are they generally with using transport?

There are two of them, they're 16, and presumably quite sensible so I think they'll be fine, especially as it's a direct flight.

And it's a 7 hour flight max

It's fine to let them go, they are adults for travel purposes. Children travel younger than that alone

It's 8 hours to JFK from London, they are together, they have flown a lot and you can talk them through what they need to do. I would absolutely let them go.

Once they have navigated the departure airport the duration of the flight doesn't make much of an impact, that's the easiest bit. They will be met at the other end.

I am on the cautious end of MN (eg no overage films, phone restrictions etc), but I let my DD1 fly alone at just 16 for a course in Spain, and she has organisation difficulties.

They’re together, the flight time is about half what you’re thinking, they’ve flown long haul before and they’re 16!! Of course you should let them go.