To say no to 16year olds flying alone

Omg i can't believe you are questioning this, they are 16 & together!

I flew to france at 15 completely alone. Shorter flight yes, but language barrier, at a time when smart phones didn't exist and your mobile didn't work overseas unless you paid a huge amount. I was meeting a french exchange friend & her family, people my parents had never even met!

We traveled as unaccompanied minors from the ages of 15, 11 and 9.... Dad stayed abroad after the divorce. This was before mobile phones
Id let my 15 and 17 year olds go
Your anxiety is going to stop them having an amazing holiday

Seriously! My ex regularly flew back and forth from JFK on his own from the age of 12. Parents dropped him at the airport in the UK and aunt collected him the other end. Nothing bad ever happened and that was back when New York had a dreadful reputation for crime.

I agree that they are fine to go, but have a question....

It sounds, from your opening post, as though this has all been arranged in rather a hurry. I'm wondering why that is..... Having myself had an ex-husband who could not be trusted for a nano-second, is there any chance that yours intends to persuade the children to stay with him for longer/forever?

Sounds good. They are together. No doubt you’ll take them to airport and see them through check in etc. they are met the other end by father.

my ds has been travelling to his father overseas since 16 alone (inc getting to airport). It’s good for them.

You said the trip is next week, OP.

Surely it's booked then, and you know the flight times etc?

Presumably their dad will meet them at JFK? In which case where is the problem. I could understand if you lived in the sticks, if your kids went to a small private school so lacked street smarts, and if they had to find their way to downtown NY to some out of the way apartment. Or if you kids had significant SEN, which would cause them high anxiety being in loud, crowded airports.
But quite honestly if none of the above apply and they can navigate Heathrow, I don't think you need to worry! Just don't watch any 'baddie' films as your anxiety will be through the roof!
Let 'em go OP, they'll have an amazing time, and yes you'll worry, that's completely natural, but just revel in the peace and quiet of your home, and marvel at the calmness!

They have phones (I presume) and voices that they can use to ask for help if they need it. You know that you need to let them go.

I’d let mine go, of course.

Would I be watching flight tracker and keeping in touch with them, of course, would I be glad when they landed safely, absolutely, but I wouldn’t stop them going.

Yes YABU.

16 is a perfectly fine age for two teens to travel together.

They've been to airports before and know what to do. They've got each other.

In this modern day and age you can be in contact with them to entire time. In flight WiFi is money well spent in my opinion, especially for teens!

My 11 year old doesn't need us for help/entertainment on long haul flights anymore. This summer I had them check the boards for our flights and get us to our gate etc. I've been doing the same with train platforms and the tube for a while too, these are all important life skills and our kids thrive when we let them truly live in their world.

They can message/call you at any point for help, will be plenty of staff at both airports and they'll literally have a button on the plane to press if they need something.

I think one way of looking at this is, you have a really great opportunity to oversee/guide them on their first solo flight that not all parents get. In less than two years they'll be 18 and you won't be able to stop them from hopping on a flight (tbh I'm not sure you legally could now or not?!) And you wouldn't necessarily get the reassurance of them checking in with you to make sure they are okay. So you should be looking at this as a great halfway step that not many others get, for them to do a solo flight while under parental 'supervision' as such.
If the flight gets cancelled, they will be in an airport, with food places and WiFi and phone charge sockets, and they will be able to call you and their dad and get things sorted. Again, a really really great opportunity for you and their dad to model to them that there's no need to FREAK OUT and immediately go on like the holiday is RUINED it's a DISASTER like a lot of people do, where they wind themselves up. The flight will be rebooked. It's frustrating, but its not the end of the world.
If there's turbulence, they might feel a bit unnerved or sick, but they will be safe and it's good for their developing brains for them to experience a little bit of discomfort/fear and then make it out unscathed. People will be kind to them around them.
If there are 'baddies' well tbh, I don't think two teenage boys travelling in a pair are the idea target!
Definitely try and see this as a good parenting opportunity - they will be much safer in the long run if you actively do things to give them opportunities for independence under your supervision now.

Which plane are you getting on that it’s a 13 hour flight to jfk.

I went to school in the us. I flew by myself from a very young age. There’s two of them and they’re in an airport surrounded by security. They’re probably in the safest place they could be. They need to see their father. Don’t be that parent.

I flew alone to New York and back when I was 17, it was great! I'd have no hesitation in allowing two sensible 16yos to do this - as others have pointed out, airports are some of the most secure places in the world and heavily policed, they're not going to run into any trouble. Just remind them not to get jokey with the US Immigration agents - those guys can be completely obnoxious.

I don't see the problem, do they catch buses or trains, go in cars ? As plane travel is safer than any of those. You can hardly say no you can't go in case there's baddies can you !

This is your anxiety talking. My 16 year old just flew home from an extended holiday on his own- had to transit through Paris and get a bus/train at the other end. I was panicking in the lead up, but when I waved him off at departures I actually felt really proud of him and happy that I've raised a confident, competent person.

Let them go x

Of course they should go!

Allow them. They are of an age where it's great and exciting to do this for the first time. My parents would send me overseas for the summer from 10yo to my grandparents. Whilst I was scared for the first flight at 10, by 14 I could easily navigate an airport alone and I think it taught me great independence.

I was about to say of course they can, I flew unaccompanied from the age of 6. But you do have a fair point about the logistics of moving through an airport nowadays. It can be quite stressful as an adult, keeping an eye on your stuff when you go through security, making sure you get to your gate in time even though every food place has a queue of an hour.... it's certainly not a breeze.

But they should still definitely do it. You just need to support them to make it as uncomplicated as possible. Help with packing to check there's nothing in hand luggage that will cause problems. Check in before and make sure they've got everything to hand, either printed or on the app.

Also, emphasise to them how to ask for help... which desk to go to, and if possible connect with the unaccompanied minors dept. If there is a delay or cancellation, that's the bit that could throw them, so they need to know how to react.

Also 12 is the age they can fly alone

There is absolutely no reason why they can’t do it. It’s an easy journey, they have travelled before, they are not alone, they are only just “children”, they don’t have to change flights in a difficult airport, they don’t have to do anything even slightly difficult, they are in a place with staff who will help. If they get lost if miss the plane it’s a fixable problem, they can be in phone contact until take-off. I’d be anxious about it too, because it’s relatively normal to be anxious about your precious babies travelling around the place without you being there saying “careful!” or “it’s this way” rather than because there is anything to be anxious about. My dd travelled to Majorca with 2 friends for 5 days the summer after GCSEs. - apart from the length of flight the airport business is the same. You can still get lost or have delays or have issues with immigration (she was questioned re-entering the UK but was absolutely fine). The 5 days in Majorca were my big concern - the flying bit was easy. Young people that age are travelling - they are staying in youth hostels and visiting friends in other cities, they are going to horrible festivals with awful toilet facilities and even more awful drug dealers. You mother dropping you off at an airport and your father picking you up a few hours later at a different airport is not a thing you should be telling 16 year olds that they are incapable of managing,

My dd traveled from Los Angeles to London by herself at 14. I traveled from San Francisco to Rome by myself at 11. Your boys are 16 and there are two of them and the flight is only 6 hours from London to NYC. Worst case scenario they have to figure out some stuff by themselves...or on the phone with you. Kids need more independence these days.

On a side note, why don't they have American citizenship?

My eldest wants to travel to JFK at Christmas. He is 17yo, and I am concerned but he will be 18yo in the spring and tbh, you have to let go at some point. He is meeting his girlfriend at the other end. She has already been over this summer so they've already met each other and get on really well.

I am nervous but don't want to stop his adventures in life especially if he is saving up for the ticket.

OP your DC will be fine. They have each other!

They will be fine. My kids flew to Bangladesh 2yrs ago when they were 17 and 14, and changed in Dubai. I helped them check in and their dad gave instructions for changing at Dubai but there were plenty of signs anyway, and they can ask. If they aren’t changing flights then it’s a really easy process and they will manage fine at 16.

You are being ridiculous 🙄