To be annoyed DH won't do more to avoid COVID to ensure IVF goes smoothly

You remind him to eat more veg! You sound like his mum. Is this a joke?

This is bollocks OP. Respiratory viruses linger in the air inside venues. Not only caught by droplets close by. Worse at music venues or places where people are singing or shouting. It’s spread like smoke - imagine 1 person in the club smoking. You’d smell it soon enough.

Give up cold cuts?

How does that affect his sperm?

You sound totally obsessed with getting pregnant. It's very controlling behaviour. Don't ruin a relationship in the process or would a baby be better than a relationship?

Unfortunately yes. Lots of
people are still shielding from covid. Because they are still as vulnerable as they were in 2020 - because they still don’t have an immune system. And unlike 2020/21 no one else is taking any precautions to not spread it. It’s horrific for them - because they can’t even go to medical appointments safely anymore.

What know effects? Here's an article from the Lancet which is a reputable source which says that the effects are largely unknown and that most return to baseline after infection.

You do sound extremely controlling OP. You can't just ask your husband to shield because you've decided it will affect his sperm.

The Lancet

You sound a little over the top (interrogating his pizza topping choices) but my husband is at gigs as his job and has been at over 100 this year already and hasn’t caught Covid if that helps!

The whole time we were going through fertility issues I was very keen that we didn’t miss out on the other things in life that brought us joy as it was stressful and upsetting enough.

You cannot avoid covid unless you shield. I live a pretty limited live - don't go out, WFH with only the occasional day in a small office... don't have many friends, don't socialise. and I just had it or the 5th time.

And salami pizza, the bastard!

I know from friends that going through IVF is very hard but I think you are taking it too far.

What on earth has pizza got to do with it?

This all sounds insane I would no way put up with someone trying to control me like that it sounds terrible

You're beginning to sound controlling, give up alcohol, don't go out, don't eat cold cuts (wtf is this about?!) eat more veg...
We're not in 2020 now, COVID is a fact of life, and I say that as someone whose husband was classed as clinically extremely vulnerable and was in ICU during the pandemic.
Rein in your anxiety and demands and just relax it all a bit.

Why can't he eat cured meats?

Getting annoyed at him for eating a pizza?

You need to be careful here because you risk damaging your relationship by being so controlling. I get your desire to have a child but do you want that to permanently damage your relationship? You need to find a sensible balance.

So the consultant didn't say it?

Agree about the alcohol too. TBH if he doesn’t want to give anything up for IVF, does he actually want another child?

Oh dear @PhillipaN he doesn’t sound like a peach.

Good idea from @Twinklefloss

My clinic cancelled rounds if we caught covid, (this was after lockdowns) and we shielded to a point leading up to and during rounds. We were paying privately so couldn’t afford to waste the tens of thousands of pounds we spent.

I think the most pragmatic thing to do here would be for him (and you) to pay to get Covid boosters privately - after checking with consultant what gap is needed before ivf.

it is not practicable to shield from Covid selectively if he’s going in to the office. I caught it last week from my teen DS who had met up with just one (sick) friend in person and had otherwise been at home socialising online.

I think you would be better focusing on more controllable aspects eg alcohol consumption: we went to specialist male fertility consultant who got DH down to having just two drinks a week while ttc after secondary fertility. Alcohol has massive impact on quality of male sperm.

In the nicest possible way do you think you're projecting alot of worry onto this in particular just incase you have another failure? I say this as this reminds me of myself. We did 4 gos and by the end I was going out of my mind, convinced that my husband having 1 cigarette (he was super stressed too) or a night out would mean somehow it was all going to go wrong again

I would speak to your clinic as I know mine offered free counselling
Not to say your worries aren't founded in anything, IVF takes absolutely all the control out of your life you thought you'd have and this could be a way of feeling like you're back in control a bit.
Hope this didn't offend, speaking from experience and best of luck xxx

Isn't having a newborn quite limiting on one's social life? What's really going on here?

You need to factor in time spent together as well? Brushing past someone in a pub vs sitting next to them for an hour in a meeting etc. I don't think you have got this right

Talk about missing the bigger picture...

You're obsessed. I can understand why to a certain degree, but it's not at all healthy.

I'm sorry but you're going to end up pushing your DH away. He has a life of his own, he's not existing just to give you a baby.