Neighbours Autistic daughter

It doesn't matter what the cause of the noise is.

The fact is that the op's mental health is suffering as a result of the commotion next door.

She can have all the compassion in the world but it's terribly unfair on her.

As for the suggestion of wearing noise cancelling headphones/ear plugs that's outrageous! Why should she?

The family should be housed somewhere where the rooms are soundproofed or in a detached property.

I feel for you OP. Your neighbour’s disability doesn’t mean you should have to put up with noise all hours of the day and night. It sounds like the mum and daughter need to move somewhere more suited to her disability.

People saying you’re being unreasonable have obviously never had a noisy neighbour, it can be absolute hell and really impact your mental health. But as usual this thread is just a pile on. Poor OP.

The OP has to do the mediation. It’s a tick box part of the process to hopefully get herself or the neighbour and her daughter moved.

I’m sure everyone involved realises it’s a waste of time but you know… red tape and bureaucracy. This is the bullshit the OP has to go through for anyone to take any notice.

poor you, poor child and poor mother.....I am dead asleep at midnight, cannot imagine to go out even if the world was going to end. Look what this lady is doing.....

I would try and get yourself moved, there’s no way they will evict them, she is disabled and I assume her mother is doing the best she can. Go to your doctor and tell them that your housing situation is effecting your mental health, get a letter from them and put in for a transfer.

One of those situations where you're damned if you do [try to do something, in which case there's really nothing you can do] and damned if you don't [do nothing and bear it].

The only thing you can do is move. That's the only outcome you can control. Otherwise, you'd be waiting ages for them to move - even if they are going to be rehoused, they wouldn't be top priority.

Second option is to get different noise drowning equipments to leave on so as to muffle the sounds even if they don't completely drown the noise.

It's a difficult situation for you (and the mum who seems to be trying).

Your poor neighbour. I bet she is at her wits end trying to support her daughter. Knowing she has pissed her neighbour off is probably exacerbating the situation for her. She's also probably terrified that you are trying to get her and her daughter evicted. We've all had difficult neighbours: you either suck it up or move. I've done both.

I would go into the mediation with the stance, this mother is clearly doing everything she can, she has a child with a high level of needs. The local authority have not provided accommodation which is suitable for that family, due to the impact the child's condition has on neighbours/local community. Make it clear you are not blaming the family, but it is becoming impossible to live with. I doubt they'll move either of you, but she's got a better chance than you

It’s the “kick out the neighbours” comment from OP for me. 😬 Many of us do know what she’s dealing with, from both sides.

How is mediation going to help?
She can't exactly negotiate her daughters level of autism and it's associated difficulties.

How horrible for you. If the shrieking’s not the kid’s problem, it sure as hell ain’t yours.

‘She’s disabled’ isn’t an answer, and it certainly isn’t the right answer.

They can’t evict or control disabled neighbours, but they can sort out better flooring and soundproofing or move you. For now, headphones.

My parents had the same problem with neighbours who were into BDSM.

You need to go to a doctor and get a letter referring to how it’s impacting your mental health at least then you’ll be on an even platform as the other family with regard to the housing associations safe guarding. The housing needs to be seen as unfit for them to move you and if it’s affecting your mental health it will be. They may move the other family though as obviously nobody else is going to live under them and they are still a business and need to rent the property.

Unlikely. It would just become the new neighbour’s problem wouldn’t it?

I feel for you OP, it sounds hellish.

The neighbour and her daughter are unsuitably housed and need to be moved to a property where they won’t disturb others.

I empathise OP.

My next door neighbour family includes a severely autistic boy. Non-verbal, requires a lot of support, makes a lot of noise at times, sometimes violent. He is now a strapping 15 year old and frightening to us at times.

I have no end of sympathy for his parents, and I know the toll that the situation places on them. But just as they didn’t ask for a severely autistic son, we didn’t ask for a severely autistic neighbour. Expressing frustration and worry for us doesn’t reduce the feelings we have for our neighbours.

Recently he has been accepted into a residential school, which the parents are very relieved about as I know that the impact on them and their other children was significant. A happy by-product is that we have less noise and worry as well.

I have no practical advice for you unfortunately OP. Just to say that I understand and don’t think you’re a bad person for expressing displeasure at your situation.

I think you need to ask yourself very seriously what you actually expect the mum to do about it? What do you hope to come of the complaint/mediation meeting? What is the outcome you are wanting?

Because there’s no situation where the daughter will just stop. The council is extremely unlikely to evict a disabled child and their family because a neighbour doesn’t like the noise their being disabled causes and ultimately no matter how negatively your mental health is being impacted or quality of life reduced I can guarentee that you’re not even scratching the surface of what that mum is dealing with. Poor woman, what can she do?

I think you’ll have to be clear in the mediation that you do understand how difficult it is for them. This must be a stress that mum really doesn’t need and how are the council going to sort it to help everyone. If she’s walking late at night to try and keep things calm and quiet they’ll be exhausted.
I do understand that it’s extremely difficult for you as well, not an easy one to solve.

Good job as well really.

Yeah it's always the way on here, is a joke!

You need earplugs. They can't help it for goodness sake

There's not a chance in hell they'd put them on the street, and you know that.

Their = there