Mother's will

I meant morally... I had a relative who had two children - one of whom was very comfortably off and the other who wasn't. He came to the conclusion that he should leave them equal amounts and his children could always do a deed of variation should they want things any differently. (Which they may well have done.). Actually OP, depending on how things pan out and your relationship with your kids (and if they understand that their DGM has brought her own issues into the situation), a deed of variation (essentially rewriting a will after death if the beneficiaries all agree).

But what the trio decide is fair between themselves doesn’t really matter posthumously. The then deceased got to decide what she wanted to do, but then the trio work out what is best for all, to prevent imbalanced benefit to the family unit.

Why is that unethical?

“Money should always be left equally” ? That’s not the legal position.

No she is not. She has made a decision about what SHE wants to do with HER money.
There was a time when children did not what was in their parent's wills until the thing was read after death. Perhaps more should do that, tell their adult grabby kids that they'll get what they are getting when they get it.

This is insane

Yes OP you are being ridiculously unreasonable here

Another thing I would do OP, is sit down and work out your own finances if you haven't done so already.

How much you will get from your work pension, what happens if you need or decide to retire early. How much will half the house give you - is it enough to buy a small property?

Why should she?
Christ on a bike, the number of people who think they should get money just because someone has some

I do hope you are not a teacher of ethics
Person A has made a will. Person B get nada. Person's C and D get money, not the same.
No one in this scenario has any right to any money from the other. Nor do they have a right to demand or ask for money

You know - or think you know - that your ex wouldn't take half your inheritance. Your DM doesn't know this and tbh, most bets are off when there is money involved. I would be really angry if I thought any of the money I left would be going to a feckless ex.

Do you provide care and support to your DM ?

Yes it does

I completely understand your POV OP - what I hear from your posts is also that you don't want to be a burden to your DCs. Is there a third party that your mother trusts who could point out the perils of her current plan? Starting with money should always be left equally...

Op, as you have probably been doing some care for your DM in the past & ongoing care, it must be hurtful for you.

If your DDs inherit lots of money, perhaps they will take you on some family holidays in the future ?

Some of the money may get used up in care home fees too.

Ref your future
I suggest looking at some home swap sites for cheaper holidays.
Also volunteering where accommodation may be free in exchange for some help.

Not everyone receives an inheritance

Are you ok?

Cut the legs out from under her daughters? Bit OTT! It's not what I read here.

Everything I do financially is about giving my kids the start I never had. My parents have no money to leave to me, I'm going to make sure my kids get an inheritance.

Your wishes to undermine your mother's will, selfishly spend her hard earned money on yourself, and cut the legs out from under your daughters are disgusting.

It's the antithesis of parenting.

Awful I don't know what to suggest op.
Are you able to actually assertion why she's done this, you feel it's a punishment but is it?
Maybe she thinks your doing OK?

Can you ask about her parents, maybe she is doing what they did?

My will leaves everything to my 3 DDs equally, but there is a statement in there expressing my wish that some of this money be shared with the GC as appropriate and according to circumstances. This leaves a clear statement of my wishes without tying any of my DDs to anything they cannot afford nor feel to be appropriate. I trust them to respond to this with integrity.

And there are lots of things you can do with limited means rather than sit at home and watch TV...maybe don't think of life from such a consumerist perspective?! You own half your house, you have a reasonably paid job, this is way more than a lof of other people! Comparison is the thief of joy and all that...

I can't believe you begrudge your own daughters the money! I would be overjoyed if I knew my children would be provided for like this. It doesn't sound like you are living hand to mouth either. What do you need the money for? So you'd rather have more so you can go on cruises and shopping while your daughters, as your mother correctly points out, have their lives ahead of them. I've never understood parents who are envious of their children for whatever it might be: youth, looks, money...

Sorry, but it sounds like she's given it some thought and that is what she wants.

I'd say it's quite a good solution, albeit there is scope for your daughter with the house to say "it's not fair, why should I be penalised becuase I already have a house?"

What are thoughts on that?

Because ultimately it's irrelevant, it's your mother's wishes and I actually think it's a good solution she has come to.

Fair doesn't really come into it, although I wouldn't really say she's being unfair.

Also, all a moot point if it's needed for care.

At the moment it's very much still your mother's money and I find it grabby when people talk about "their" inheritence.

If I were you I'd be delighted that my daughters were being given a big helping hand in life.

@dontstopmenowimhavingagoodtime writes ".......Your DM is throwing a hand grenade into your family dynamics ........."

Too true

Sounds like she might be worried that anything she gave you would have to be split in half with your ex.

I get where you are coming from and I'd also be a bit salty about it, particularly as if she needs hands on care I bet it will be coming from you rather than your DDs, but I guess you have to let go of it.

I am an only DC and technically will inherit most of my DPs money, but I am not counting on any of it as if they need to go into a care home, or Labour changes the inheritance rules then I'm not going to get very much anyway. Besides it's their money, not mine.

And I don't earn £200k either, I know nobody who does.

Do you have a public sector pension? Tbh I’d be ok with this, it would mean i don’t have to worry about my kids.

My mother made a ridiculous Will too, leaving her money in random proportions and most of it to one grandchild. We managed not to fall out but I can see why some families do. It’s such an idiotic thing to do. Just leave to all children equally and be done