Should I give up on learning to drive?

Please don't give up! I started lessons aged 46!! I was terrified of driving (my exH drove like a maniac and told me often I'd never be able to drive). I started learning with the most wonderful guy in an automatic car and passed 2nd time. For me it was life changing - turns out when I'm in control of the car I have no fear at all. I've taken my teens on so many amazing adventures in my own car. We even toured the whole of Wales over the summer in 2022, something we will never forget and it's built my confidence up so much. Find a new instructor and opt for automatic, focus on the end goal .. freedom! Best of luck. 🚗🚗

I would agree with those who suggested trying a different instructor in the first instance.

I think it was 40hrs with no driving with anyone else. I watched a lot of YouTube driving videos which really helped too (i can list some if you want like?). Every lesson my instructor would say 'you just need to be confident', like it's a switch, ha. I took kalms and rescue remedy for lessons and my test which I think helped (or were a placebo).

I'm 41 and passed my test last week. I HATED lessons. I would feel sick before every single lesson (even started a thread about it). I struggled with hesitation on roundabouts and had no confidence in myself. But since passing and driving my own car (which I only starting driving on the day of my test) I have started to enjoy driving.

Don’t give up

most people that drive have low IQ but confidence. You can do it

If you did pass your test, where would you like to drive? Would it be for shorter day-to-day local journeys, or for longer trips away? You can have some lessons after you've passed if you want for certain things to build your confidence, a motorway lesson is pretty common. But my instructor also showed me the local roundabouts, took me on the local A roads, and showed me single tracks (there's lots where I live). So don't feel as if you have to be able to do everything straight away if you pass. Whether to continue to learn, only you can answer that. I didn't drive until my late 20s, by which time I wanted to because I felt I was missing out by not being able to. But I live in a very rural area, if I lived in a city I might not have made the same decision. I do echo others about chosing an instructor you feel comfortable with. Good luck with whatever you chose.

@BabyICantDriveMyCar You can give up if you want. Give yourself permission to quit without feeling bad or guilty. But try changing instructors, watching YouTube videos, meditating. I got my license at 46, first test with 3 minors. But getting there took 3 instructors: I left one because she was a time waster. The second I thought was great but he quit me. Said i should try aitomatic. The third was perfect for me. It took me 80+ hours but I got there. Last week I drove almost 4 hours on motorway. My first. Its so freeing being able to drive. During lessons, Meditating and visualising (especially round abouts) helped. I also used YouTube hypnosis. DM me if you want more

GOOD luck with your decision.

Are you driving a stick shift? I can recommend getting lessons in an automatic, I learned later in life and following a few unsuccessful sessions trying to get to grips with gears and a clutch an automatic car made it possible to concentrate on everything else that was going on.
I love driving now.

I passed the third time. I was like you, my dad never drove because of anxiety and I think he passed it to me. I was never interested and only started lessons because I had to (live in a northern town and the transport isn't great here).
I did eventually pass and enjoy driving now. But the issue I had when I felt stagnant was the instructor. I changed instructor and passed the third time without any faults. Maybe try a different instructor and see how you feel then?
I'm glad I persevered because I do need to drive up here. Be proud of yourself for how far you've come though 🌹

Had

Never give up. I learned and passed just fine but has terrible anxiety surrounding all driving basically as soon as I'd passed my test. I suddenly felt like I was all on my own and it was scary. I struggled on like this for 8 years but this year decided enough was enough and spent a month forcing myself to drive everywhere until I'd got the hang of it and improved my confidence. I'm so so so glad I persevered as I now genuinely enjoy driving. I took my kids to the park today and it was brilliant!

I have no interest in motorways or huge roundabouts. I can get my kids to fun activities and get to places like the dentist, leisure centre etc which was all I ever wanted to achieve.

Keep at it, it's so worth it. As wanky as this sounds you need to be at one with your car.

60 hours is not actually particularly unusual. The average is 40, but that's only taught hours - most learners are youngsters who get additional time in by practicing in their parents' car. How many people will tell you they only passed on their third try, or more?

You're only at 1 1/2 that taught time, despite starting later and not getting extra uncounted hours.

I definitely agree on trying a different teacher though. They're all slightly different. Mine had a series of excellent hacks for working out positioning (if you're in the north east I can give you his name).

I struggled a lot learning on a manual car. Couldn't get the hang of the gears. I find driving an automatic a lot easier.

Don't give up ,I'm Nd and passed first time , at 18 but I was hopeless at some things. I'm 57 now keep going you'll pass

Do not give up! Do as these good people say and shift to automatic and change instructor. I hated my first two instructors and did manual in my 20s - hated it so much I gave up. Got a really great instructor in my 40s with automatic - passed first time. There's no need for manual - everything will be EV or hybrid.

Dual carriageways and motorways are the easy bits once you've passed. Big roundabouts will be less daunting too once you have some practice. Lessons only teach you to pass your test, you learn to drive after that.

I was adamant I wasn't going anywhere near a motorway and was terrified of the idea of roundabouts with traffic lights ... everything seemed too fast! Once you have control and get the hours of practice on your own, in the middle of the night if you need to, it will all slow down and become habit.

You can do it 💐

good advice here; do it if you want. If not, know I do not drive and my learning is somewhere in the air but I manage without driving

I just want to say that I'm sure everyone feels nervous after passing their test! It's then you really learnt to drive! I passed over 10 years ago now and I still get nervous sometimes in places I don't know.

If you want to dive stick at it. You can try another instructor too but if it's more a confidence thing maybe speak to your current instructor and see what they think, or ask if you can practise in areas you find difficult.

My husband passed first time aged 50. He'd been having lessons on and off for a decade. A change of instructor was the key. He's been driving for 18 months now, and is only now feeling confident driving on dual carriageways. You can do it, OP!

Also, big unknown roundabouts are still the thing I'm least confident about. But I get better all the time :)