To think people at work shouldn't ask 'what happened to your hand?'

Well, I might ask if you are OK, as I rush to open the door for you, or offer to push your trolley to the car, put your bags in the car boot, etc. Yes I don't know you, probably won't see you again, might see you again randomly. It's just that general care of all in our society and polite good manners. I don't need all the details but if someone is clearly suffering can I help? If I can, pleased to do so.

It is ignorance and lack of empathy. I don't care how "curious" you are, you don't ask, because it takes very little imagination to realise that the bandaged person is going to be asked repeatedly throughout the day, and that you want to be in the adult half of the population who control their nosiness, and it is none of your business anyway

My colleague walks with a cane, many customers ask her why. Her latest reply was 'too much sex' with a straight face!

It's always uncomfortable when people ask but I suggest making up fun answers!

YABU, it is normal to ask when someone has a visible injury.

Last year I broke my arm and I was surprised that a few people I knew well had whole conversations without ever asking about the big obvious arm cast. All women, and maybe they were trying not to be intrusive but I just found it weird. Most people (and all men) just went straight in with "Hi - hey what happened your arm?!" which to me is more normal.

Odd maybe but not unfriendly. I’d think that they’re telling me to mind my own business but indirectly.

Yes, is ok to ask discreetly if you think the person needs help.

That's different from a public "what did you do to your face/hand" etc in a banter sort of way.

Wank friction burn

"You should see my partner!"

I'd be tempted to tell them it was leprosy.

I have psoriasis, which varies in severity from OKish to itch-til-you-bleed. Until recently, it was all in areas not generally seen but now, particularly in the summer, it's quite visible.

I've had loads of students asking what it is (although some have eczema so take it in their stride) - the questions are usually along the lines of 'what causes it?' and 'does it hurt?' At first I was terribly self-conscious and didn't want to go out on some days but now I regard it as a learning opportunity for them and they're cool with it - and I'm not going to hide in the house because some people are ignorant and/or cruel.

Octavia64 You'd get a shock if you moved here. I'm long term facially disfigured and in a wheelchair and apparently it's everyone's business.

OMG! What happened to your face?

What did you do to yourself?

Did you have an accident?

How can you go out looking like that?

Why don't you get plastic surgery? (Cue Why, Why Why questions.)

There's no excuse to go round looking like that in this day and age! (Cue story of friend/sister/girlfriend who got her nose/birthmark/tattoo sorted out in Turkey.)

Why don't you do a Go Fund Me? (Cue Go Fund money fixed disability story.)

You're so brave to go out shopping! I'd never go out!

Don't you get upset when people stare at you? I would!

What happened to you?

Why are you in a wheelchair? I had one of those when I broke my ....
Cue story of them/gran/auntie/husband etc using one for three months.

Aren't your children embarrassed going out with you?

It was worse when I was a younger woman, but so much of it is just the need to point out that you look different to what they expect and that is apparently a problem, or they are seriously nosy and expect answers.
I actually look great in comparison to how I used to, and don't think I look that bad.

Ask me if I like Pangolins, listen to Slipknot, like/dislike the weather, or think you look ok in what you're wearing, and I'll assume you want an innocent conversation or are passing the time of day. Comment on what I look like and my obvious disabilities or why I'm like this, and I'll assume lots of things about you, you won't like, including that you've made yourself fair game for any comeback I feel like.

Conversation is honestly dying.

I think reasonable to ask. I was asked by my lecturer at university. I would never have had the confidence to bring it up myself. I was immediately offered an extension on an upcoming assessment task that was helpful.

It's not clear from your OP whether you mean your actual work colleagues, or genuine strangers asking you when they are at work, e.g someone serving you.

If one of my work colleagues came in with their hand bandaged up I would ask them if they were OK. If I were serving someone in a shop or bar and their hand was bandaged up I wouldn't mention it.

@StarShineHello report your post and get mnhq to edit the title so people get that it is NOT your work colleagues.

A black eye - unreasonable to ask in case of domestic violence

A bandaged hand - they probably expecting a bit of banter about how you injured yourself on the photocopier

Some people would be offended if others didn't ask. I'm sure they don't mean anything by it. Just say it's a minor burn or make something up if you don't want to say

This thread is a perfect demonstration of why I hate attending events where lots of people are.

Imagine for a moment you have a permanently bandaged hand, or a crutch, and almost everyone in that room feels they can, and should, ask why and expect a polite response.

Think about how incredibly tedious that gets. It’s like a trap closing on you. A conversational inevitability, waiting to bore you to death, force you into disclosing for the millionth time, or make you responsible for letting them off lightly, every single time you chat with someone.

And you’d get silence from me on a good day, and a 🖕🏻 on a bad.

‘Natural curiosity’ is nosiness in a frock, by the way.

YABU. People who know you will ask out of concern. I think you're just feeling sensitive about it.

It would be a very joyless world without the small talk oiling the wheels of social interaction!
I don’t think we need to be asking invasive, potentially offensive questions to find joy. We can do better than that.

They asked out of conern

Why shouldn't they? I always ask. Normally its an interesting story, re gardening, cooking, stupid weekend activity etc, and in my experience the person I question always seemed very happy to tell me all the gory details. I personally would actually be upset if I come to work with a bandage and no one asks what happened - I would feel like no one gives a shit about me.

There is no requirement to be honest, OP. Just make something up - "oh, I was in the woods, there was a dog attacking a bunny, I tried to save it and got bitten!"

Non intrusive options when spotting someone with a medical or mobility device on show include:

Would you like help packing your bag?
Let me know if you need additional assistance.
There’s a seat just here of you need it

It’s not that hard.

Just the whole nation has a terrible habit of going straight to “oooooh what have you done to yourself then?” as a sort of performative “kindness”.

It’s not kind for the people who live with this shit every day and won’t ever get better from whatever it is they didn’t do to themselves.

"AIBU to think people in general shouldn't ask things like that and especially in a professional capacity? It's common sense to not point out something 'wrong' with a customer??"
And if no-one asked, I wonder if you would complain that you feel invisible? Honestly, they are not asking "a medical question" they are being solicitous of your welfare. They probably anticipate an answer along the lines of 'tripped and fell on gravel, scraped palm' or 'knife slipped, avacados eh!?!'.

It would be a very joyless world without the small talk oiling the wheels of social interaction!

Yes, VERY misleading title!